What i am wondering though is what guarantees me that a new build wouldnt have the same problems.. do you know by any chance if anyone with the p67 platform has it or is it an x58 disease ? it really does stink and as I previously said I am done upgrading this computer especially after what you just said that this is a conflict between bios and mem controller and not an issue that can be resolved by simply waiting for windows 8..
I would like to also ask you something - does this problem provide a cause to problems to come or can the computer function like this for years ?, game wise I dont notice any difference only when using programs that require lots of ram is where I see the difference. why am I asking this - because I am a gamer and I dont want to be throwing money in the air for new games to come out and later turn my computer on and it would be not functional if you know what I mean..
and once again thanks for all the help seems like my conclusions were changing and being wrong over and over
A new build say with the P67 chipset may not have this problem, but keep in mind that electronics can be problematic. A quick search (using "intel p67 chipset total available memory less than installed") on the P67 chipset doesn't turn up anything other than the usual 32bit operating system limitation, while changing P67 to X58 in the search turns up numerous instances of the problem. Looking through Newegg reviews I don't see mention of this problem, even though both the X58 and the P67 have integrated memory controllers. Electronics of any kind can be problematic but the majority of builds done with any motherboard will go well.
To your question about future failure of this board, it may run for years like this. What bothers me about your case though is you've said that it showed 12GB when you installed the second set, then later lost memory down to 10GB, then 8GB. This could mean the controller is failing and whether it will completely fail or continue to recognize the remaining channels only time will tell. If the computer begins to have many crashes, BSODs, then it could be the controller is continuing to fail, or one day it may simply not allow a boot.
Because of what you said about the memory going down it could be the controller itself, but I'd keep an eye on the EVGA site for any new BIOS they may put up for this board. I haven't completely given up on the idea that the BIOS itself is skewed and maybe an update flash of it later will just set it right again.
If I were in this situation and did not wish to spend cash to build new, I'd run it, and enjoy it. 8GB of memory runs Windows 7 very well (setting aside the understandable anger that you have 12GB). It may well run until you're really ready to build again.