Solved Imponderables

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harry5

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Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:



1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?







4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?









14. What hair colour do they put on the driver' licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?

17. Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?

18. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

19. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

20. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:

21. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

22. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

23. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?

24. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?




 
lol...excellent!
 

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Don't forget, why do we park on driveways, and drive on parkways?
 

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Zen Productions
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Windows 7 Ultimate x64
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Intel i7-860
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Gigabyte GA-P55A-UD4P
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Corsair Dominator 1600Mhz, 8-8-8-24 1.65v 2x2GB
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ATI Radeon 5770 HD
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Intel High Definition Sound
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Samsung P2570HD
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Western Digital Caviar Black 500gb
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Corsair CMPSU-750HX 750W
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Logitech G110
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Where is number 3?

Otherwise, great. My sides hurt now.

~Lordbob
 

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Hera
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Windows 7 Ultimate x64, Mint 9
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Intel i5-2500k
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ASUS P8P67 Pro
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2x 4Gb Corsair VENGEANCE DDR3-1600
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NVidia GeForce N260GTX Twin Frozr
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Realtek HD OnBoard Audio
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ASUS 24" Monitor
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G.SKILL Phoenix Series 60GB SATA II MLC Internal Solid State Drive (SSD)
SAMSUNG Spinpoint F3R 1TB 7200 RPM 32MB Cache SATA II
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Cooler Master Real Power Pro 750W
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Cooler Master Haf 932
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Fans
Keyboard
Razer Tarantula
Mouse
Razer Lachesis
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not fast enough
:thumbsup: Very good.
 

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Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
LAPTOP. HP Pavilion dv7-4010TX .
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Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit. SP1.
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Intel i7 -720QM.[1.6GHz Turbo Boost 2.8GHz. 6MB Cache.]
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8 DDR 3 RAM. 1066MHZ
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ATI 1024 MB. DDR3. Radeon HD5650
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Laptop / notebook.
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Logitech Anywhere mouse. MX.
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ADSL [ but too slow ]
I guess i have answers for a few.

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Love is Blind, but LUST is not blind :)

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Actually it should be tenty one
 

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HP EliteBook 8530w Mobile Workstation
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Windows 7 Ultimate x64 (XP, 98SE, 95, 3.11, DOS 7.10 on VM) + Ubuntu 10.04 LTS Lucid Lynx
CPU
Intel Core 2 Duo Processor P8600 (2.40 GHz, 3 MB L2 cache)
Motherboard
Mobile Intel PM45 Express Chipset ICH9M-Enhanced
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4GB 800 MHz DDR2 SDRAM
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ATI Mobility FireGL V5700 with 256 MB
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SoundMAX Integrated Digital HD Audio
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15.4-inch WXGA anti-glare (1280 x 800 resolution)
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1280 x 800
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500GB + 1TB
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Synaptics PS/2 Port Touchpad, USB Mouse
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4 Mbps
Antivirus
MSE
Browser
Firefox, Chrome, IE
Other Info
Authentec AES2810 Fingerprint Reader
reminds me of the deep intellect of a pot head
 

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Custom
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Windows 7 Ultimate Signature Edition
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Intel Core i7 Extreme 3.33GHz
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EVGA X-58 SLI Classified
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12GB DDR3
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2x EVGA 285 2GB in SLI
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Creative Labs X-Fi ExtremeGamer
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30" Viewsonic
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2x1TB Western Digital 7200RPM in RAID 0/1TB WD My Book External HDD
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Thermaltake 1000w supporting quad SLI
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Thermaltake Armor Full Tower
Cooling
Thermaltake V1 CPU+DIY Liquid cooling
My brother had a friend, before the advent of the podcast, who made audio recordings he called "Deep Thoughts" where he posed these questions. It was interesting, maybe I should try one.
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Zen Productions
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate x64
CPU
Intel i7-860
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-P55A-UD4P
Memory
Corsair Dominator 1600Mhz, 8-8-8-24 1.65v 2x2GB
Graphics Card(s)
ATI Radeon 5770 HD
Sound Card
Intel High Definition Sound
Monitor(s) Displays
Samsung P2570HD
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
Western Digital Caviar Black 500gb
PSU
Corsair CMPSU-750HX 750W
Case
Antec p183
Cooling
Corsair H50 Water Cooler
Keyboard
Logitech G110
Mouse
Logitech MX Revolution
Internet Speed
768 mb/s
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