Jokes Thread [4]

[mohavepc]

sorry guys. wont post anything like that again. I never had an issue and found a few friends through it. My sub ends next month anyhow.

 

[COMPUTIAC]

You could install WOT.
I use it all the time, if it blocks a site as I posted above, I close it and find something else.

https://www.mywot.com/en/download

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

You could install WOT.
I use it all the time, if it blocks a site as I posted above, I close it and find something else.

https://www.mywot.com/en/download

 

[mohavepc]

You could install WOT.
I use it all the time, if it blocks a site as I posted above, I close it and find something else.

https://www.mywot.com/en/download

already did sir and thank you. feeling a bit embarrassed on this one.Like I said I never had an issue or reason to doubt the website or company. I no longer have the card I signed up with so they wont be getting anymore from me anyway.

 

[COMPUTIAC]

No need to be. It's all part of the learning curve.


(and don't call me sir)

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

No need to be. It's all part of the learning curve.


(and don't call me sir)

Ma'am?

 

[COMPUTIAC]

No need to be. It's all part of the learning curve.


(and don't call me sir)

Ma'am?

Grrrrrr !

 

[mohavepc]

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
​

If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.
​

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
​

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
​

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
​

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
​

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.
​

An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”
​

Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
​

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor
​

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It’s a hardware problem.
​

Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says. “He isn’t null-terminated.”
​

“I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.”
- Antone Roundy
​

A doctor, a civil engineer and a programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest.
“Surely medicine is the oldest profession,” says the doctor. “God took a rib from Adam and created Eve and if this isn’t medicine I’ll be…”
The civil engineer breaks in:
“But before that He created the heavens and the earth from chaos. Now that’s civil engineering to me.”
The programmer thinks a bit and then says:
“And who do you think created chaos?”
​

 

[Layback Bear]

mohavepc because you have been to that strange website you won't go back to I would suggest checking your system for infections of all kinds.

 

[mohavepc]

mohavepc because you have been to that strange website you won't go back to I would suggest checking your system for infections of all kinds.

I appreciate that LBB, I have run a few scans today and it is clean. Luckily the site is not known to be harboring malware or infections. From what I read the main complaints are for bad billing practices and selling of info.

 

[COMPUTIAC]

So, this means you have already blocked them on your CC for future payments ?

 

[mohavepc]

No longer have the CC I signed up with them on. paid it off and closed it due it's high rate 6 months ago.

 

[COMPUTIAC]

No longer have the CC I signed up with them on. paid it off and closed it due it's high rate 6 months ago.

I would like to see what they do when they try to charge the card. I wonder if they will send you a "Friendly Reminder" to renew ?

 

[A Guy]

As a woman was nursing her baby, her cousin's six-year-old daughter came into the room.

Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what she was doing.

After mulling over her answers, she remarked, “My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.”

A Guy

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

No need to be. It's all part of the learning curve.


(and don't call me sir)

Ma'am?

Grrrrrr !

Uh, nice doggy?

 

[Britton30]

Here's a little fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first
automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling
him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office.

They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and
cooled the car off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3
million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by
having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put the
Goldberg's name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their
first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.

Control yourself !

 

[Layback Bear]

Gary that was a long way to get there but it was worth it.

 

[Britton30]

This isn't a joke per se, but a Jedi mind trick/prank to pull on someone.
Say the following to them:
If an Englishman has a friend he's called a bloke.
When you tell a funny story, that's a joke.
The white of an egg is a....

About 90% of the time they will say the white of an egg is a yolk.

 

[The Howling Wolves]

This isn't a joke per se, but a Jedi mind trick/prank to pull on someone.
Say the following to them:
If an Englishman has a friend he's called a bloke.
When you tell a funny story, that's a joke.
The white of an egg is a....

About 90% of the time they will say the white of an egg is a yolk.

I will end this day by telling Gary the yolk is on him!(d)(d)

 

[Britton30]

thanks Dennis, I often have egg on my face.