Mooches

[seekermeister]

What do you do if you have a mooch for a neighbor? I'm not talking about just any old mooch, because there are plenty of them, but like in my case, I have a neighbor that lives down the hall, that is not family or friend, and the only acquaintance that I have with him is when he comes knocking at my door, asking for any number of things, including money, a ride to some place, food, a cup of sugar, pain pills, and I imagine the list would continually grow, if I didn't say no 90% of the time.

This guy is a tall overweight ex football player, so I can't get physical, even if I were so inclined. He doesn't seem very intelligent, because he doesn't seem to get the "hint" when I tell him that I'm a very reclusive person, and really don't like to be bothered, unless it is an emergency.

On his last visits, he wanted something for back pain, so I did give him so pills that I no longer use, but made the mistake of saying something about some other prescription pain pills that I had, which I told him in no uncertain terms that I would not give him. Still, he came back twice that night, and once the next day asking for them anyway.

I gave him a rather long and firm explanation that I did not ever intend to give him anything, unless it was something critical in some fashion or another, and that I did not consider pain pills critical, since it didn't appear that he was having any greater difficulty getting around than he usually does. That doesn't stop him from knocking on the door as much as 4 times a day.

Once he even asked me to drive him to the grocery store, which is only two blocks from where we live. He claimed that he had a bad heart and that it would be too much of a problem walking that far. I know that exercise is the best therapy for a bad heart, and our complex has a lot of grocery carts around, from others who walk their groceries home with them, so it would be no hardship for him to do likewise.

I know that I'm being somewhat long winded about this, but he is really starting to get on my nerves, and even though I know that no one can suggest a real solution, it helps to blow off steam.

 

[Maguscreed]

Sadly it would seem in this instance your mistake was answering the door the first time.
All I can think to do is call the police (not emergency number just regular) and make sure they have on file that you are being bothered by this neighbor and are concerned. I would after that just cease to answer the door. If he does anything unexpected or harasses you after that, you can simply call the police.

 

[smarteyeball]

It's the same with strays - feed them once and you'll never get rid of them.

You should turn that No, 90% of the time into No %100 of the time.

 

[seekermeister]

Magnuscreed,

Yes, I understand that I could ignore him knocking, but then I think that it is possible that he really needs something, and I would feel bad about turning my back on him. I'm not going to get the police involved, because I do not believe that he is going to become violent or any more harassing than he already is. It is like some have said, never feed a stray cat, or you will never be able to get rid of it.

smartyeyeball,

It seems that we were thinking the same thing at the same time (with strays), but like I said, I would feel bad about myself if I totally ignored him.

 

[Maguscreed]

I fed a stray cat for about a week... not long ago actually.
I was sitting on the porch one night , he calmly walked up to me... bit me (pretty hard) and then never came back again.

I don't know I just prefer to be safe over sorry.
It's likely he will never become a problem, true enough.
However, you can file the complaint without the police ever actually even talking to him about it.
It's a little safety step I was told about by a very attractive woman I know that used to get harassed too much. When you have something on file it makes it much easier if you do have to defend yourself or have a problem down the road.

 

[seekermeister]

That ungrateful cat! The only cat that ever bit me was one that apparently someone had intentionally put inside of an old Bronco that I had. He had craweled up under the dash, and when I made the mistake of trying to dislodge him, he paid me with teeth, and then fled the scene very rapidly. I know that someone put him there, because there was no way for him to get inside on his own.

 

[smarteyeball]

smartyeyeball,

It seems that we were thinking the same thing at the same time (with strays), but like I said, I would feel bad about myself if I totally ignored him.

I can understand that. I'd feel a bit bad myself totally ignoring him, but it sounds like this guy is already over the top and unfortunately with blokes like that there is rarely any middle ground. They figure if they can get away with one thing, with persistence they can get away with anything.

I had a neighbour similar to him years ago and at first I tried to be as accommodating as possible, but he became such a nuisance that in the end I had no choice but to tell him 'where to go and how to get there'.

 

[seekermeister]

With this guy, if I told him where to go, I suspect that he would ask me for a ride to get there. Believe me, other than not slamming the door shut in his face, I have not always been too kind in my responses to him. His typical reaction is to say, with a bit of surprise in his face...OK, and wheel about and walk away...for a little while. The first time that I got on his case, it seemed to have the expected response for a couple of months, until one day we happened to ride the elevator together, and I simply said hi. That was sufficient for him to start visiting again.

 

[Maguscreed]

You know the more you describe this character the more he sounds like a desperately lonely guy with absolutely nothing going for him.
I honestly don't know what to do about it. Does he even work?

 

[seekermeister]

You know the more you describe this character the more he sounds like a desperately lonely guy with absolutely nothing going for him.
I honestly don't know what to do about it. Does he even work?

No, I don't think that anybody in this apartment complex works, because it is for the retired or in some cases the disabled. However, he is definitely unique.

 

[smarteyeball]

With this guy, if I told him where to go, I suspect that he would ask me for a ride to get there.

heh heh, sounds like he would.

The first time that I got on his case, it seemed to have the expected response for a couple of months, until one day we happened to ride the elevator together, and I simply said hi. That was sufficient for him to start visiting again.

Hmm, a returner. If a simple 'hi' is misconstrued as an 'all is forgiven' then despite his unfortunate brand of uniqueness, it does sound like he's bored and lonely. Or he's just used to knowing when he's finally gone too far and does the rounds with the other residents, only to come back when he perceives he can start it all over again.

Regardless of motive, it's an unpleasant situation to be in.

 

[Trucidation]

Just ignore. Unless he's got some kind of fixation on you (hope not), he'll just pester someone else.

You can't please everyone.