Jokes Thread [3]

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  1. Posts : 5,405
    Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
       #91

    Hopalong X said:
    THE RANSOM

    A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, D.C.. Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

    The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

    “Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, collecting donations.”

    “How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.

    The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”


    AMEN.....

    LADYPINKtomato1 said:
    I'll donate 2 gallons at least.. if you need more let me know .
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  2. whs
    Posts : 26,213
    Vista, Windows7, Mint Mate, Zorin, Windows 8
       #92

    Fastest Job interview ever
    Jokes Thread [3] Attached Images Jokes Thread [3]-2011-12-13_2025.png 
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  3. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #93

    In the coming New Year, 2012, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

    This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.

    One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

    The other involves a groundhog.
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  4. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #94

    The Howling Wolves said:
    In the coming New Year, 2012, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

    This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.

    One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

    The other involves a groundhog.
    Yep, the same Congress will be there.
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  5. Posts : 5,405
    Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
       #95

    whs said:
    Fastest Job interview ever
    permalink

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  6. Posts : 6,244
    win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
       #96

    I would like to share an experience with you, it has to do with drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was out for dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much wine, and knowing full well that I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. Believe it or not, I took a bus home. Yes, a bus. I arrived home safely and without incident. This was really a surprise to me since I had never driven a bus before.
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  7. Posts : 3,302
    Windows 7 Home Premium x64 SP1
       #97

    pebbly said:
    I would like to share an experience with you, it has to do with drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was out for dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much wine, and knowing full well that I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. Believe it or not, I took a bus home. Yes, a bus. I arrived home safely and without incident. This was really a surprise to me since I had never driven a bus before.
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  8. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #98

    pebbly said:
    I would like to share an experience with you, it has to do with drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was out for dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much wine, and knowing full well that I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. Believe it or not, I took a bus home. Yes, a bus. I arrived home safely and without incident. This was really a surprise to me since I had never driven a bus before.
    Pebbly,
    The only thing I have to add was that all the passenger's that were on board have been taken home safely as well. They arrived 3 days later as they they couldn't use the GPS to locate the bus.
    Dennis
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 5,405
    Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
       #99

    pebbly said:
    I would like to share an experience with you, it has to do with drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was out for dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much wine, and knowing full well that I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. Believe it or not, I took a bus home. Yes, a bus. I arrived home safely and without incident. This was really a surprise to me since I had never driven a bus before.
    The best of the year!!!!!!!!!!
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  10. Posts : 6,350
    Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
       #100

    pebbly said:
    I would like to share an experience with you, it has to do with drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was out for dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much wine, and knowing full well that I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. Believe it or not, I took a bus home. Yes, a bus. I arrived home safely and without incident. This was really a surprise to me since I had never driven a bus before.
    F-1 Double decker at the Piccadilly. Beep! Beep!


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