SOLUTION: Age of Empires II: The Conqueror LAN play.
ok, i have 2 solutions, after trawaling the net I did not find a suitable solution to this problem. So I've taken the time to publish my solution here, hope it helps.
The problem:
I have 2 XP machines that can connect and play fine. My Windows7 machine just cannot join. After the Start game is hit, the screen eventaully times out. Looking at TCPView, it is constantly making 6 or so new connections every few seconds, which eventually kills my router.
Anyway the solution:
1. Right-click the shortcut you use to launch AOE2. Go to "compatabilty" tab and select "Run this program in compatablity mode for": and select "Windows 98 / Me". It also worked in "Windows XP SP3" but the colours were not quite correct in-game. So I would suggest the Win98 selection.
OK, part b) When creating a game. I get the XP machine to create the game (LAN option), other XP machines connect via the LAN option too. BUT windows7 does not find the game under the LAN option, instead using the Direct TCP connection, and enter the IP address of the hosting machine.
The game is then shown using Find Games, I connect and goes smoothly then after.
2. A second solution is to install "VirtualBox", which is free and supports DirectDraw. Virtual PC does not support this. For a first time use, I needed to add my wireless network adapter in the the list of adapters. This did all work, but was a bit sluggish when trying to play.
Other things to note, I do not use any port forwarding in my router. I do not have static IP's set on any machine, although my router does not change the allocated IPs it gives out to all my different machines (this Windows7 laptop is always 192.168.2.5 for example). I am using AOE conquers that came from my CD install, not any patched version. All the machines have an IP of the form 192.168.2.x ( I know the addresses do not have to match exactly the same for you, but they should all start with the the same 3 numbers (racking my brain for the technical term but failing)). You can use Start->Run->Cmd and then type "ipconfig" to see the IP addresses for your machine, on each machine.
I also run in "Administrator mode" in Win7, and NAT is enabled, and UPnP is disabled in my router. I'm not sure if either of things have any bearing to the solution though.