Help me make this look like a poem

[Beach]

EDIT: Thank you all for your help

 

[patio]

I suck at poetry...

Not quite sure about the translation either..

 

[Beach]

Anyone? Please. It's really important!

 

[CoolioG]

I think you should model your sentences after Shakespeare's like

"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun" Romeo and Juliet ( Quote Act II, Scene II).

"Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow."
Romeo and Juliet ( Quote Act II, Scene II).

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". Romeo and Juliet ( Quote Act II, Sc. II).

"Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast". ( Quote Act II, Scene III).

"Tempt not a desperate man" Romeo and Juliet Quote (Act V, Sc. III).

"For you and I are past our dancing days" . Romeo and Juliet ( Quote Act I, Scene V).

"O! she doth teach the torches to burn bright" Romeo and Juliet Quote (Act I, Sc. V).

"It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear" . ( Quote Act I, Scene V).

"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" Romeo and Juliet Quote (Act II, Sc. II).

"Not stepping o'er the bounds of modesty". ( Quote Act IV, Sc. II).

other than that I have no idea about poems. Most of them perplex me :huh:

EDIT: LOL! Why did you put your poem in

 bracket thingys? Are you hiding secret information in your poems?! :roflmao:

 

[K3VL4R]

Even if we could clean that up for you, you would loose too much of its originality. The best thing to do is to go find as person who is more fluent in both the original language and English. The online translators mess things up too much.

 

[CoolioG]

I need to translate one poem into English. Well, thats what I did. I did translate it, but I'm having trouble finding the right synonyms and ryhme. English ain't my first language, probably thats why I'm having such trouble.

Well, for someone who doesn't speak english very well, you sure do know good punctuation.

 

[FuturDreamz]

Any particular rhyming scheme?
the example is a aabb (first line rhymes with second, third with fourth, eta) but you could try a abab (firs with third, second with fourth, or what would problably be easiest is an abac (second line rhymes with fourth).
that being said, I nearly flunked english so sorry.

 

[Beach]

No, I guess it can be both aabb and abab. Ofcourse aabb would be prefered.

My english is good enough. I can translate almost everything and I can understand everything, but I'm just a terrible poet who is having very difficult time finding the right synonyms. And even if the translation doesn't match with the meaning in the original language, then I'll notice it and I can edit it.

It doesn't have to be perfect, just something that would really help me. I got about 15 hours left before I have to have this poem ready.

I mean it should be fun for some Englishman to give it a try, right?


Cheers

 

[FuturDreamz]

try these sites:
Synonym.com
RhymeZone