How do I pick the right Executor for my will ?

[JordanJP]

Hey I know this isn't a Legal forum or whatever but I just want some genuine opinions from genuine people

Well I'm 21 and in the process of creating my will, and I'm wondering who I should choose as the executor. My life is complicated and my family pretty complicated too. I've got my mothers side, my fathers side and my step mothers side. All three families don't really get along and there's conflict in every one. My mother passed away long ago. I just don't know who I should appoint. I was reading that there's something called a "Trust company", are they people who would act as an executor ? I would rather not have to put any of my family or relatives through the burden of sorting out everything and distributing everything to beneficiaries. There's enough conflict going on as it is. Of course when I'm gone and it won't matter but the people who are left behind will have to deal with it and I just want it to be a smooth process for everyone, despite certain people I don't get along with I still want it fairly simple.

How should I go about deciding ?

PS

I even thought of appointing my financial adviser as the executor. I like him and get along with him pretty well, I learned a lot from him and always enjoy his company. But then I think my father would be upset If I don't choose him, then again I've got my uncle on my mothers side who has done a lot in the past.

I don't know I really don't know....

PS

What would happen If I die without a will ? Frankly going through this daunting task is not fun. I've been putting this off for months but I'm realizing that I need to create one ASAP.

 

[Everlong]

If you die without making a will, I think your closest relative gets your belongings. If nobody claims it, like your money, I think it just goes to the government.

As for the other stuff it's simply up to you to choose. You're the only one who knows your family well enough to decide. Though should you not think about future family as well? Or are you going to rewrite it as time goes along?

 

[Golden]

I even thought of appointing my financial adviser as the executor. I like him and get along with him pretty well, I learned a lot from him and always enjoy his company. But then I think my father would be upset If I don't choose him,

You have answered your own question Jordan. If you trust your financial advisor to do the right thing, and it seems you do, then go with that.

I never appoint family members as executors for one reason only : they may already be dealing the grief & stress from my passing, so I take that burden off them, by appointing someone not as close to me that is financially astute. Explain that to your father, and I'm sure it will be fine.

Get it sorted and get on with life. 21 is far too young to be worrying about wills

Regards,
Golden

 

[Trucidation]

Get it sorted and get on with life. 21 is far too young to be worrying about wills

Sadly, the unfortunate does happen sometimes. It's good that he's taking care of this now while he's still healthy. As they say, family matters can get complicated. Better to have things in the open now and sort them while you can. Similarly, I had a lawyer friend do things up for me. Best of luck to you.

 

[Imperfect1]

The best thing to do Jordan is to chose someone to be your executor rather than to not have one at all, because with an executor the chances are that your wishes will be carried out after you die. And the executor you choose should be someone that YOU ABSOLUTELY TRUST, whether it is a family member or friend or legal/financial adviser. You can of course change your will from time to time, so that if you feel you haven't chosen the right person as executor, you can change to someone else. As you go through your life, your circumstances will change, and it may be more appropriate to have someone different be your executor. (For example, when you get married, you would most likely choose your spouse.)

 

[boohbah]

i note you were last here a week ago jordan ,i do hope that executer isnt busy at the moment,
P.S. dont forget your good buddy Boohbah when making the split!

 

[pricetech]

I've been a co-executor before and like everything else, it's a pain when you share the task with someone.

If you have an established relationship with an attorney then either appoint him / her or designate that the attorney handle the legal aspects of the estate.

If not, then your financial advisor is probably your best bet. Just make sure you can indeed trust him / her and that your family knows that you're doing it to prevent hard feelings in the family in the event of your untimely death.

 

[bigmck]

As was stated above, I would go with the financial advisor. There is one thing to consider though. If the advisor is a lot older than you are, he will die long before you. Make sure that he is part of a corporation so that the corporation would continue after he is gone. You don't want your affairs to die with him.

 

[Kari]

In todays world, I find it very positive that even a young person like you, Jordan, thinks about making a will. In a way, it shows you care of those left behind.

You say your life is a bit complicated. My recommendation is to choose an executor outside the family, especially when you told us the three families involved don't get along very well. You can then choose the easy way, not telling this to your family, only mentioning your reasons in the will, or you can choose the harder but more honest way and tell your father and uncle.

That's how I have done it. My brothers took it first as an insult when I told that I let my lawyer take care of executing my will, if and when it's my turn to finally use the open one way ticket to the downstairs I've had waiting sometime already. I had not told them earlier but last fall lying in hospital after a stroke, I thought it was time to tell. I told it honestly, that I had to choose an outsider; my two sons are living in my native Finland, where the law protects them, giving them automatically half of what I leave behind because I still have a Finnish passport (in Finland, if you have spouse and / or children, you can give only half away in will; the other half is divided equally to spouse and children). But, I leave in Germany with a German wife, and different inheritance laws. She should also get something. We have no children but we have very dear godchildren who I also would like to help, to get a good education and a nice start for an independent, adult life.

So it is a situation where you have to find a balance between your feelings, your loyalty and the reality. The best thing you can do is to assure that whatever happens, your will is executed as you wanted it to be executed, without unnecessary rivalry between different people or families. That's why I think that an executor should always be an outsider, with nothing to gain but fee.

Kari

 

[mikedl]

Wonderful advice, Kari, thanks! However, let's not push the young fella along into the next life ...

That's why I think that an executioner should always be an outsider, with nothing to gain but fee.

 

[Dwarf]

That's why I think that an executioner should always be an outsider, with nothing to gain but fee.

I think you meant Executor. An Executioner is someone very different indeed, and you definitely won't want to meet him or her.

 

[Imperfect1]

Whoever the executor is, the most important thing is that it is someone you TRUST to follow YOUR wishes and instructions. The problem with a number of people in professional capacities (financial advisors, lawyers, etc.) is that once given the power to give out other people's money, they often get an inflated sense of power and make some decisions that the deceased person would not have wished to be made.

 

[Kari]

That's why I think that an executioner should always be an outsider, with nothing to gain but fee.

I think you meant Executor. An Executioner is someone very different indeed, and you definitely won't want to meet him or her.

This happens, every now and then, English not being my native language

Fixed the typo in my post. Sorry if I have caused any emotional disturbance...

 

[Dwarf]

Don't worry, Kari. I do things like that myself and English IS my native language.

 

[Imperfect1]

Actually, it was a funny kind of 'Freudian' slip. I make them all the time, and a few times I've said some doozies!!!

 

[boohbah]

Anyway at age 21 jordan lets hope you wont be needing one for a long time eh!

 

[Borg 386]

That's why I think that an executioner should always be an outsider, with nothing to gain but fee.

I think you meant Executor. An Executioner is someone very different indeed, and you definitely won't want to meet him or her.

Actually it could end up as executioner if you pick the wrong person