Jokes Thread [3]

[jdXp610]

I KNOW MANY OF YOU (LIKE ME) LOOK FORWARD TO FOOTBALL SEASON,
EVERY YEAR. WELL, HERE'S A LITTLE RECAP OF LAST YEAR.........

Coincidence? Just wondering...................


Alabama beat Arkansas,
and Arkansas fired their coach.

Alabama beat Tennessee,
and Tennessee fired their coach.

Alabama beat Auburn,
and Auburn fired their coach.

Then Alabama beat Notre Dame, and the Pope resigned.......


I wish the White House had a team!

omg lol :roflmao::roflmao:

 

[jdXp610]

Old Submarine Sailor

Having been a mariner for half my working life this gave me a chuckle ...

I wonder if I am a lesbian

 

[Layback Bear]

I was a old smoke boat (some times call pig boats) sailor.
USS Perch APSS-313
USS Volador SS-490

 

[Britton30]

Old Submarine Sailor

Having been a mariner for half my working life this gave me a chuckle ...

I wonder if I am a lesbian

Got a friend who says he's a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

 

[The Howling Wolves]

I am a man trapped in an Irish Pub!
(d)(d)

 

[Layback Bear]

If you want to spend some time reading some funny stuff but true about the old smoke boat sailors go here. I remember well the good old days. The olgoat was east coast and I was Westpac but the same is true what ever waters or port your in. I can't wright as well as the olgoat but I can relate. Just go to After Battery.

After Battery

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

I am a man trapped in an Irish Pub!
(d)(d)

You say that like it's a bad thing!

 

[Layback Bear]

I didn't know they allow Irish Pubs in the Bear State. If they do things are looking up for California. A Irish Pub with a Bear could be a real crowd pleaser.

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

I didn't know they allow Irish Pubs in the Bear State. If they do things are looking up for California. A Irish Pub with a Bear could be a real crowd pleaser.

Oh, they do allow Irish Pubs in CA. I was in one in Chino Hills back in December for breakfast. I've seen several others in various places in SoCal.

 

[LADYPINKtomato1]

Best Friend

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner.
His wife screams at him. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is
a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be
bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?”

"Because he's thinking of getting married...."

 

[The Howling Wolves]

Best Friend

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner.
His wife screams at him. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is
a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be
bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?”

"Because he's thinking of getting married...."

LPt,
and his funeral is when?:roflmao::roflmao:

 

[LADYPINKtomato1]

Dennis I dunno.. I didn't hang around for the fight.......

 

[jdXp610]

I am a man trapped in an Irish Pub!
(d)(d)

lol

 

[jdXp610]

Best Friend

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner.
His wife screams at him. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is
a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be
bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?”

"Because he's thinking of getting married...."

lol

 

[jdXp610]

I first went to sea when ships were made of wood and men were made of steel ..... ok ok so I lie.

This was my first ship which I sailed on as a Engineering Cadet <another name for a gofor>.

mv British Poplar a products carrier


And this was my last as a Second Engineer.

the Stena Mariannos a Diving Support Vessel

 

[LADYPINKtomato1]

WOW you are really a sea going marine, this must have been very interesting.
I recall seeing a huge shipyard in New England ( USA ) when I was vacationing there in the fall of 2008
( 17 states plus Canada's - Niagara Falls ) ( Arlington Cemetery-Iwo Jima Memorial - 1945 -Raising the Flag- USA )

 

[pebbly]

One for Dwarf........

A Yorkshire lad's beloved dog dies so he decided to get a statue made of it. He visits a jewellers in Leeds and said 'Ah'd like a gold statue made of me dog please'. The jeweller says 'Do you want it 18 carat?". Yorkshireman says 'Nay you daft bugger, I want it chewing bone"

 

[jdXp610]

One for Dwarf........

A Yorkshire lad's beloved dog dies so he decided to get a statue made of it. He visits a jewellers in Leeds and said 'Ah'd like a gold statue made of me dog please'. The jeweller says 'Do you want it 18 carat?". Yorkshireman says 'Nay you daft bugger, I want it chewing bone"

:roflmao: awesome

 

[BlackSparrow]

One for Dwarf........

A Yorkshire lad's beloved dog dies so he decided to get a statue made of it. He visits a jewellers in Leeds and said 'Ah'd like a gold statue made of me dog please'. The jeweller says 'Do you want it 18 carat?". Yorkshireman says 'Nay you daft bugger, I want it chewing bone"

:roflmao: Oh miss pebbly, that was HILARIOUS!

 

[The Howling Wolves]

Layback Bear,
They should charge you $100 for each repeat of this joke.
Howard gets a free pass as Suzy was his sister. I read that in the Arkansas Law books. hehehe
THW