Jokes Thread [3]

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Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

This is for all the germ conscious folks
that worry about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90 year old
grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan


After spending a great evening chatting the night
away, the next morning John's grandfather
prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film like substance on his
plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,

'Are these plates clean?'

His grandfather replied,

'They're as clean as cold water can get em.
Just you go ahead and finish your meal,
Sonny!

For lunch the old man made hamburgers.


Again, John was concerned about the
plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks
around the edge that looked like dried egg
and asked,

'Are you sure these plates are clean?'

Without looking up the old man said,

'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are
as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't
you fret, I don't want to hear another word about
it!'

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a
nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's
dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.


John yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't
let me get to my car'.


Without diverting his attention from the football
game he was watching on TV, the old man
shouted!

'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!'


Meet Coldwater !










View attachment 297097
Thats my Dad through and through LOL!!
 

My Computer

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Fans on all Desk1 -2 Desk2 - all Coolermasters 5 Laptop ?
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Running Kaspersky 2016 ISS on all machines config'd identically
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Frozen Turkey
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]
Sarah, new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, 'Richard doesn't appreciate what I do for him.' [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]
'Now, now,' her mother comforted, 'I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.' [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]
'No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price.' [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]
'Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate,' says her mum. 'Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.' [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]
'No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey. It was the plane ticket.' [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]
"Plane ticket....." What did you need an airplane ticket for?' [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]
'Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said: "Prepare from a frozen state," so I flew to Alaska.'[/FONT]
 

My Computer

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Laptop
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Lenovo Z710 #59400485
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Windows 8.1.1 64bit
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i7-4700MQ
Memory
8.0GB PC3-12800 DDR3L SDRAM 1600 MHz
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Intel® HD Graphics 4600
Sound Card
on-board
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17.3"
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1920x1080
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1TB 5400 RPM;(OS,programs)



Hitachi, 1Tb external,(B'up)
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4 Cell 41 Watt Hour Lithium-Ion
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Air in, Air out.
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M$ - Arc Touch
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MBAM Pro, SAS Pro, Revo Pro.

Ext. HP 2311 Monitor
Riddle Me This
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus all got into the elevator at the Ritz Hotel in NYC[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As the car traveled from the 5th floor down to the ground level, one-by-one they noticed a $100 dollar bill lying on the lift's floor. [/FONT]


Which one picked up the $100 bill, and handed it in at reception desk?


Santa of course, the other two don't actually exist!
 

My Computer

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Lenovo Z710 #59400485
OS
Windows 8.1.1 64bit
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i7-4700MQ
Memory
8.0GB PC3-12800 DDR3L SDRAM 1600 MHz
Graphics Card(s)
Intel® HD Graphics 4600
Sound Card
on-board
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3"
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
1TB 5400 RPM;(OS,programs)



Hitachi, 1Tb external,(B'up)
PSU
4 Cell 41 Watt Hour Lithium-Ion
Case
Lenovo
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Air in, Air out.
Keyboard
Logitech - Y-UY95 - Illuminated
Mouse
M$ - Arc Touch
Internet Speed
59 Mb down / 25 Mb up
Antivirus
Defender
Browser
Firefox (newest)
Other Info
MBAM Pro, SAS Pro, Revo Pro.

Ext. HP 2311 Monitor
A Man Walks Into A Bar
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A man enters his local bar holding a frog and an iguana. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]He sets them down on the bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1000 that my frog here can sing any song you can think of." [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Ok," says the bartender. "How 'bout 'Blue Moon'?" The man whispers something to the frog, and the frog starts singing blue moon. "That's amazing," says the bartender as he slaps down $1000. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"I'll bet ya another $1000 that my iguana here can do that to." "Ok, I can believe a frog, but not an iguana. You're on. Have him sing the Star Spangled Banner.." [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The man whispers something to the iguana and it sings the Star Spangled Banner. As the bartender hands over another $1000, a businessman comes up and says, "I just saw that and I was amazed. I want to buy your iguana for $100,000." [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The man said okay, and he exchanged the iguana for the money and the businessman left. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The bartender said "What are you nuts?! You could have made millions with that iguana!" [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The man said "Oh, the iguana can't sing. The frog's a ventriloquist."[/FONT]
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Lenovo Z710 #59400485
OS
Windows 8.1.1 64bit
CPU
i7-4700MQ
Memory
8.0GB PC3-12800 DDR3L SDRAM 1600 MHz
Graphics Card(s)
Intel® HD Graphics 4600
Sound Card
on-board
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3"
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
1TB 5400 RPM;(OS,programs)



Hitachi, 1Tb external,(B'up)
PSU
4 Cell 41 Watt Hour Lithium-Ion
Case
Lenovo
Cooling
Air in, Air out.
Keyboard
Logitech - Y-UY95 - Illuminated
Mouse
M$ - Arc Touch
Internet Speed
59 Mb down / 25 Mb up
Antivirus
Defender
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Firefox (newest)
Other Info
MBAM Pro, SAS Pro, Revo Pro.

Ext. HP 2311 Monitor
A Christmas Story :



When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.


Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
 
Last edited:

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
self build
OS
win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
CPU
amd phenom x4 9600
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asus m2n32-sli deluxe
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corsair twinxs 2x2gb
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2x nvidia 1gb 8500gt
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onboard
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23" PB Viseo 233d
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1920x1080
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maxtor sata 500gb
maxtor sata 320gb
fujitsu sata200gb
PSU
oryxx tornado 750w
Case
thermaltake xaser lll
Cooling
artic freezer64 pro + 7 case fans
A Christmas Story :



When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.


Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

I've heard, and told, that joke for years...no...decades...at least half a century and your telling of it is the best so far by far (one anal suggestion, pardon the pun: have the Angel ask Santa where to put it, not where to stick it, so it's less likely alert people to the coming punch line ;) ).
 

My Computer

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PC/Desktop
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Custom Build
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Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
CPU
Intel i7-3930K
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ASUS P9X79 WS
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Kingston HyperX Genesis 32GB Kit (8x4GB Modules) 1600MHz DDR
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MSI R7850 Twin Frozr 2GD5/OC Radeon HD 7850 2GB 256-bit GDDR
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Asus Xonar Essence STX
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3x Asus VG248QE 24", Vizio 32" TV
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080, ?
Hard Drives
Samsung 128GB 840 Pro SSD (1),
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (4)
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (16) external backup drives used in 2.5" hot swap bays in the computer.
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Corsair HX750w
Case
Antec Two Hundred v2 (modified)
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Cooler Master GeminII S524 120mm (fan replaced with a 140mm)
Keyboard
Logitech G510s
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Logitech M525 (two in use)
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=< 32Mbps down, 8Mbps up
Antivirus
AVAST!, MBAM, SAS, Spybot S&D (all but MBAM free) Glary Util
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IE11
Other Info
LSI 9211-8i HBA card (8 SATA III ports), 2.5" & 3.5" Hot Swap Bays, HooToo HT-CR001 PCI-E to USB 3.0 Internal Hub + 6 Slot Card Reader, and LG Model CH12LS28 BD-ROM Optical Drive. Also, ScanSnap S1500 ADF duplexing scanner, Canon 9000F flat bed scanner, Corsair SP2500 2.1 speakers, Samsung CLP 415nw laser color printer, Cyberpower PP2200SW UPS
Thank you Lady F ,Changed now :D
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
self build
OS
win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
CPU
amd phenom x4 9600
Motherboard
asus m2n32-sli deluxe
Memory
corsair twinxs 2x2gb
Graphics Card(s)
2x nvidia 1gb 8500gt
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onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
23" PB Viseo 233d
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
maxtor sata 500gb
maxtor sata 320gb
fujitsu sata200gb
PSU
oryxx tornado 750w
Case
thermaltake xaser lll
Cooling
artic freezer64 pro + 7 case fans
I didn't mean here but, yes, that makes it perfect. I've saved a copy of that. It's brilliant!
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Custom Build
OS
Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
CPU
Intel i7-3930K
Motherboard
ASUS P9X79 WS
Memory
Kingston HyperX Genesis 32GB Kit (8x4GB Modules) 1600MHz DDR
Graphics Card(s)
MSI R7850 Twin Frozr 2GD5/OC Radeon HD 7850 2GB 256-bit GDDR
Sound Card
Asus Xonar Essence STX
Monitor(s) Displays
3x Asus VG248QE 24", Vizio 32" TV
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080, ?
Hard Drives
Samsung 128GB 840 Pro SSD (1),
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (4)
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (16) external backup drives used in 2.5" hot swap bays in the computer.
PSU
Corsair HX750w
Case
Antec Two Hundred v2 (modified)
Cooling
Cooler Master GeminII S524 120mm (fan replaced with a 140mm)
Keyboard
Logitech G510s
Mouse
Logitech M525 (two in use)
Internet Speed
=< 32Mbps down, 8Mbps up
Antivirus
AVAST!, MBAM, SAS, Spybot S&D (all but MBAM free) Glary Util
Browser
IE11
Other Info
LSI 9211-8i HBA card (8 SATA III ports), 2.5" & 3.5" Hot Swap Bays, HooToo HT-CR001 PCI-E to USB 3.0 Internal Hub + 6 Slot Card Reader, and LG Model CH12LS28 BD-ROM Optical Drive. Also, ScanSnap S1500 ADF duplexing scanner, Canon 9000F flat bed scanner, Corsair SP2500 2.1 speakers, Samsung CLP 415nw laser color printer, Cyberpower PP2200SW UPS
Rabbi Hears Confession

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the
street and asked him to cover for him.

The rabbi told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and



he’d stay with him for a little bit and show
him what to do.

The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional.

A few minutes later, a woman comes in and says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”

The priest asks, “What did you do?”
The woman says, “I committed adultery.”
Priest: “How many times?”
Woman: “Three times.”
Priest: “Say two Hail Marys, put five dollars in the box and go and sin no more.”

A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”
Priest: “What did you do?”
Man: “I committed adultery.”
Priest:”How many times?”
Man: “Three times.”
Priest: “Say two Hail Marys, put five dollars in the box and go and sin no more.”

The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he’s got it, so the priest leaves.
A few minutes later another woman enters and says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”
Rabbi:”What did you do?”
Woman: “I committed adultery.”
Rabbi: “How many times?”
Woman: “Once.”
Rabbi: “Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for five dollars"
 

My Computer

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HP, Dell, Gateway, Toshiba - 4 laptops and 2 desktops
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Vista, Windows7, Mint Mate, Zorin, Windows 8
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from 1.6GHz Duo to i7
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2x HP w2207
Hard Drives
5x HDD, 7x SSD, 12x Externals
Keyboard
with trackball - no mices
Mouse
Trackball mice
Internet Speed
DSL 6000
Must of been one of those Black Friday Specials.
 

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Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Home made Desktop
OS
Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64
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ASUS X-99 Deluxe II
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Corsair Platinum 16 gig @2400
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EVGA GTX 1070 OC
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Asus 27" LED LCD/VE278Q
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1920-1080 or 1280-720 HDMI
Hard Drives
INTEL SSD 730-240 Gb Sata 3.0/
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EVGA Platium 1200W
Case
Phanteks Luxe Tempered Glass 8 fans/ one radiator
Cooling
XSPC/ Water Cooled CPU
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Das 4 Professional
Mouse
Logitech M705/MX Anywhere 2-S
Internet Speed
100 mbits
Antivirus
Microsoft Security Essentials/ Malwarebytes Premium 3.0/ SAS
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I.E. 11 default/Firefox/ ISP Time Warner Cable/Spectrum
Other Info
LG BluRay Burner/
Sound system-KLipsch-THX/
Icy Dock ssd Hot Swap bays.

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP, Dell, Gateway, Toshiba - 4 laptops and 2 desktops
OS
Vista, Windows7, Mint Mate, Zorin, Windows 8
CPU
from 1.6GHz Duo to i7
Monitor(s) Displays
2x HP w2207
Hard Drives
5x HDD, 7x SSD, 12x Externals
Keyboard
with trackball - no mices
Mouse
Trackball mice
Internet Speed
DSL 6000
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Office Holiday Memo[/FONT]

To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

  • Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
  • Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
  • Work requests are not to be filed under “Bah humbug.”
  • Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma’s house.
  • All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
  • Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Lenovo Z710 #59400485
OS
Windows 8.1.1 64bit
CPU
i7-4700MQ
Memory
8.0GB PC3-12800 DDR3L SDRAM 1600 MHz
Graphics Card(s)
Intel® HD Graphics 4600
Sound Card
on-board
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3"
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
1TB 5400 RPM;(OS,programs)



Hitachi, 1Tb external,(B'up)
PSU
4 Cell 41 Watt Hour Lithium-Ion
Case
Lenovo
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Air in, Air out.
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Logitech - Y-UY95 - Illuminated
Mouse
M$ - Arc Touch
Internet Speed
59 Mb down / 25 Mb up
Antivirus
Defender
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Firefox (newest)
Other Info
MBAM Pro, SAS Pro, Revo Pro.

Ext. HP 2311 Monitor
Reindeer Games


According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.


Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.


We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Lenovo Z710 #59400485
OS
Windows 8.1.1 64bit
CPU
i7-4700MQ
Memory
8.0GB PC3-12800 DDR3L SDRAM 1600 MHz
Graphics Card(s)
Intel® HD Graphics 4600
Sound Card
on-board
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3"
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
1TB 5400 RPM;(OS,programs)



Hitachi, 1Tb external,(B'up)
PSU
4 Cell 41 Watt Hour Lithium-Ion
Case
Lenovo
Cooling
Air in, Air out.
Keyboard
Logitech - Y-UY95 - Illuminated
Mouse
M$ - Arc Touch
Internet Speed
59 Mb down / 25 Mb up
Antivirus
Defender
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Firefox (newest)
Other Info
MBAM Pro, SAS Pro, Revo Pro.

Ext. HP 2311 Monitor
The ‘Clauses’

Saint Nicholas is the main Clause.


His wife is a relative Clause.


His children are dependent Clauses


Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause.


Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses.
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Lenovo Z710 #59400485
OS
Windows 8.1.1 64bit
CPU
i7-4700MQ
Memory
8.0GB PC3-12800 DDR3L SDRAM 1600 MHz
Graphics Card(s)
Intel® HD Graphics 4600
Sound Card
on-board
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3"
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
1TB 5400 RPM;(OS,programs)



Hitachi, 1Tb external,(B'up)
PSU
4 Cell 41 Watt Hour Lithium-Ion
Case
Lenovo
Cooling
Air in, Air out.
Keyboard
Logitech - Y-UY95 - Illuminated
Mouse
M$ - Arc Touch
Internet Speed
59 Mb down / 25 Mb up
Antivirus
Defender
Browser
Firefox (newest)
Other Info
MBAM Pro, SAS Pro, Revo Pro.

Ext. HP 2311 Monitor
From the Marx Brothers "Night at the Opera".

Fiorello: Hey, wait, wait. What does this say here? This thing here.
Driftwood: Oh, that? Oh, that's the usual clause. That's in every contract. That just says uh, it says uh, "If any of the parties participating in this contract is shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nullified."
Fiorello: Well, I don't know...
Driftwood: It's all right, that's, that's in every contract. That's, that's what they call a 'sanity clause'.
Fiorello: Ha ha ha ha ha! You can't fool me! There ain't no Sanity Clause!
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Custom Build
OS
Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
CPU
Intel i7-3930K
Motherboard
ASUS P9X79 WS
Memory
Kingston HyperX Genesis 32GB Kit (8x4GB Modules) 1600MHz DDR
Graphics Card(s)
MSI R7850 Twin Frozr 2GD5/OC Radeon HD 7850 2GB 256-bit GDDR
Sound Card
Asus Xonar Essence STX
Monitor(s) Displays
3x Asus VG248QE 24", Vizio 32" TV
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080, ?
Hard Drives
Samsung 128GB 840 Pro SSD (1),
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (4)
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (16) external backup drives used in 2.5" hot swap bays in the computer.
PSU
Corsair HX750w
Case
Antec Two Hundred v2 (modified)
Cooling
Cooler Master GeminII S524 120mm (fan replaced with a 140mm)
Keyboard
Logitech G510s
Mouse
Logitech M525 (two in use)
Internet Speed
=< 32Mbps down, 8Mbps up
Antivirus
AVAST!, MBAM, SAS, Spybot S&D (all but MBAM free) Glary Util
Browser
IE11
Other Info
LSI 9211-8i HBA card (8 SATA III ports), 2.5" & 3.5" Hot Swap Bays, HooToo HT-CR001 PCI-E to USB 3.0 Internal Hub + 6 Slot Card Reader, and LG Model CH12LS28 BD-ROM Optical Drive. Also, ScanSnap S1500 ADF duplexing scanner, Canon 9000F flat bed scanner, Corsair SP2500 2.1 speakers, Samsung CLP 415nw laser color printer, Cyberpower PP2200SW UPS
Reindeer Games


According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.


Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.


We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Well, welllll thinking on it they must be lady reindeer. They were doing this even before GPS.
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Home made Desktop
OS
Windows 10 Pro. 64/ version 1709 Windows 7 Pro/64
CPU
Intel i7-6800K @ 4.3
Motherboard
ASUS X-99 Deluxe II
Memory
Corsair Platinum 16 gig @2400
Graphics Card(s)
EVGA GTX 1070 OC
Monitor(s) Displays
Asus 27" LED LCD/VE278Q
Screen Resolution
1920-1080 or 1280-720 HDMI
Hard Drives
INTEL SSD 730-240 Gb Sata 3.0/
PSU
EVGA Platium 1200W
Case
Phanteks Luxe Tempered Glass 8 fans/ one radiator
Cooling
XSPC/ Water Cooled CPU
Keyboard
Das 4 Professional
Mouse
Logitech M705/MX Anywhere 2-S
Internet Speed
100 mbits
Antivirus
Microsoft Security Essentials/ Malwarebytes Premium 3.0/ SAS
Browser
I.E. 11 default/Firefox/ ISP Time Warner Cable/Spectrum
Other Info
LG BluRay Burner/
Sound system-KLipsch-THX/
Icy Dock ssd Hot Swap bays.
How many reindeer did Santa have?
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Custom Build
OS
Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
CPU
Intel i7-3930K
Motherboard
ASUS P9X79 WS
Memory
Kingston HyperX Genesis 32GB Kit (8x4GB Modules) 1600MHz DDR
Graphics Card(s)
MSI R7850 Twin Frozr 2GD5/OC Radeon HD 7850 2GB 256-bit GDDR
Sound Card
Asus Xonar Essence STX
Monitor(s) Displays
3x Asus VG248QE 24", Vizio 32" TV
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080, ?
Hard Drives
Samsung 128GB 840 Pro SSD (1),
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (4)
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (16) external backup drives used in 2.5" hot swap bays in the computer.
PSU
Corsair HX750w
Case
Antec Two Hundred v2 (modified)
Cooling
Cooler Master GeminII S524 120mm (fan replaced with a 140mm)
Keyboard
Logitech G510s
Mouse
Logitech M525 (two in use)
Internet Speed
=< 32Mbps down, 8Mbps up
Antivirus
AVAST!, MBAM, SAS, Spybot S&D (all but MBAM free) Glary Util
Browser
IE11
Other Info
LSI 9211-8i HBA card (8 SATA III ports), 2.5" & 3.5" Hot Swap Bays, HooToo HT-CR001 PCI-E to USB 3.0 Internal Hub + 6 Slot Card Reader, and LG Model CH12LS28 BD-ROM Optical Drive. Also, ScanSnap S1500 ADF duplexing scanner, Canon 9000F flat bed scanner, Corsair SP2500 2.1 speakers, Samsung CLP 415nw laser color printer, Cyberpower PP2200SW UPS

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Self Built
OS
Win 10 Pro x64
CPU
Intel I5-2500K @3.3GHz
Motherboard
Asrock P67 Extreme4
Memory
16GB G.Skill Ripjaws X (4x4GB)
Graphics Card(s)
EVGA GeForce 750 Ti SC 2GB
Sound Card
ASUS Xonar DG 5.1 Channels 24-bit 96KHz PCI Interface Sound
Monitor(s) Displays
auria eq2367
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
250GB Samsung 850 EVO SSD
1TB WD Blue
1TB Hitachi
PSU
SeaSonic X 650W 80 Plus Gold
Case
Corsair Obsidian 750D
Cooling
Corsair H60, Three 140mm case fans
Keyboard
Logitech Wireless Keyboard K520
Mouse
Logitech Wireless Mouse M310
Internet Speed
Wave Broadband ~ 100 dn 5 up
Antivirus
Windows Defender, Malwarebytes Premium
Browser
Edge, IE11, Chrome
Other Info
Laptop specs: HP g7-1365dx /
CPU: AMD A6-3420M APU with Radeon(tm) HD Graphics /
RAM: Crucial 8Gb (2x4Gb) /
SSD: Crucial M4-CT128M4SSD2 ATA Device/ FW 000F /
GFX: AMD Radeon HD 6520G /
OS: Windows 10 Pro x64

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Custom Build
OS
Win 7 Ultimate 64 bit
CPU
Intel i7-3930K
Motherboard
ASUS P9X79 WS
Memory
Kingston HyperX Genesis 32GB Kit (8x4GB Modules) 1600MHz DDR
Graphics Card(s)
MSI R7850 Twin Frozr 2GD5/OC Radeon HD 7850 2GB 256-bit GDDR
Sound Card
Asus Xonar Essence STX
Monitor(s) Displays
3x Asus VG248QE 24", Vizio 32" TV
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080, ?
Hard Drives
Samsung 128GB 840 Pro SSD (1),
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (4)
Samsung 4TB 850 EVO SSDs (16) external backup drives used in 2.5" hot swap bays in the computer.
PSU
Corsair HX750w
Case
Antec Two Hundred v2 (modified)
Cooling
Cooler Master GeminII S524 120mm (fan replaced with a 140mm)
Keyboard
Logitech G510s
Mouse
Logitech M525 (two in use)
Internet Speed
=< 32Mbps down, 8Mbps up
Antivirus
AVAST!, MBAM, SAS, Spybot S&D (all but MBAM free) Glary Util
Browser
IE11
Other Info
LSI 9211-8i HBA card (8 SATA III ports), 2.5" & 3.5" Hot Swap Bays, HooToo HT-CR001 PCI-E to USB 3.0 Internal Hub + 6 Slot Card Reader, and LG Model CH12LS28 BD-ROM Optical Drive. Also, ScanSnap S1500 ADF duplexing scanner, Canon 9000F flat bed scanner, Corsair SP2500 2.1 speakers, Samsung CLP 415nw laser color printer, Cyberpower PP2200SW UPS

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
MSI GE72VR Apache Pro-416
OS
Windows 10x64 Build 1709
CPU
Intel i7 7700HQ Kaby Lake
Motherboard
Micro-Star Intl. MS-179B (U3C1)
Memory
16 GB DDR4 @2400
Graphics Card(s)
Nvidia Geforce GTX 1060
Screen Resolution
1920x1080 120Hz
Hard Drives
256 GB Nvme M.2 SSD

1TB HDD@7200
Cooling
Cooler Blast 4
Keyboard
Steel Series
Antivirus
Bit Defender Free
Browser
Edge
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