Jokes Thread [4]

[Frogpond51]

Having a Cow

now we know...

 

[Frogpond51]

error message

yup

 

[essenbe]

Reminds me of some of the help requests we get.

 

[Frogpond51]

Furniture Dealer

Bubba, a furniture dealer from Alabama, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store,
so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought
would sell well back home.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.
As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded and that the
other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French
(which he did not understand), and motioning toward the chair, he invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not understand, so after a couple of minutes
of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass
and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate
with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group
playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture
of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and
the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Bubba still can't figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.

 

[andrew129260]

:roflmao::roflmao:

 

[LADYPINKtomato1]

~~ Polish Sausage !!

What Aisle is the Polish Sausage in?

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'prejudice' these days.......

A customer asked, "In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes, I am. But let me ask you something.

If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."

 

[Layback Bear]

LadyPink that was great. I hope I can remember it.

 

[whs]

Father's Ipad

This is in German but easy to understand.

Daughter asks her father how he is getting along with the Ipad that they got him for his birthday.

Embedded video - Snotr

 

[Layback Bear]

You are correct wolfgang. No translation is needed.

 

[jadinolf]

~~ Polish Sausage !!

What Aisle is the Polish Sausage in?

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'prejudice' these days.......

A customer asked, "In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes, I am. But let me ask you something.

If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."

LPT1, that deserves a :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

 

[Layback Bear]

Reminds me of some of the help requests we get.

View attachment 348023

I have been looking for a week now and I also can't find the Any Key.

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

Reminds me of some of the help requests we get.

View attachment 348023

I have been looking for a week now and I also can't find the Any Key.

I remember back when I was new to computers and kept seeing references to hit the Refresh button when on various forums. It took forever for me to figure out that the button was onscreen, not on my keyboard. What was especially frustrating about that was I had asked people where it was on the keyboard and they though I wasn't being serious.

 

[A Guy]

A Guy

 

[jadinolf]

A Guy

NOW we know!

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

I must have a defective keyboard because it's not there.

 

[Borg 386]

It happens to the best of us at one time or another.....

 

[Layback Bear]

I'm not sure how I did it but I sure bought a lot of defective keyboards.

Could it be global warming causing this problem?

 

[Borg 386]

I'm not sure how I did it but I sure bought a lot of defective keyboards.

Could it be global warming causing this problem?

Luck of the draw, or because they're cranked out like crazy from all over the world. You see wireless KB's in dollar stores now. I bought a really nice looking illuminated KB from Staples ($48 I believe) it looked nice, horrible ghosting though, skipped just about every 4th or 5th letter. And being that I was writing my midterm paper, that KB went back pretty quick.

Speaking of global warming, where the hell is spring?

 

[jadinolf]

I'm not sure how I did it but I sure bought a lot of defective keyboards.

Could it be global warming causing this problem?

Luck of the draw, or because they're cranked out like crazy from all over the world. You see wireless KB's in dollar stores now. I bought a really nice looking illuminated KB from Staples ($48 I believe) it looked nice, horrible ghosting though, skipped just about every 4th or 5th letter. And being that I was writing my midterm paper, that KB went back pretty quick.

Speaking of global warming, where the hell is spring?

Borg, Spring is where I live.

 

[Arelem]

I'm not sure how I did it but I sure bought a lot of defective keyboards.

Could it be global warming causing this problem?

Luck of the draw, or because they're cranked out like crazy from all over the world. You see wireless KB's in dollar stores now. I bought a really nice looking illuminated KB from Staples ($48 I believe) it looked nice, horrible ghosting though, skipped just about every 4th or 5th letter. And being that I was writing my midterm paper, that KB went back pretty quick.

Speaking of global warming, where the hell is spring?

Borg, Spring is where I live.

That's not spring, 82 is summer. :sarc: