Yesterday

[Dinesh]

I went for another interview and as usual... rejected.

 

[Joan Archer]

Everyone's quiet today...

Well Friday's my day for going into town for the morning so don't get chance to see the computer until the afternoon then it's not for long as there's a meal to prepare and eat plus when grandson comes over not able to get anything done. He's just over a year old so you can imagine the mayhem he can cause if you don't watch him

 

[sergiogarcia9]

Had a court date, as the Petitioner. The Respondent went on and on and on regarding how my request for redress was unjustified, unsubstantiated, unwarranted, unreasonable, unfathomable and on and on and on. The judge nodded politely from time to time and finally asked the Repondent if he had anything to say relevant to the case.

Winning is nice. An in your face slam dunk is nicer.

Are you a lawyer? :shock:

 

[Kari]

No, but I come from a family full of 'em. I have been asked that question so many times

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part,

.....

part, also known as "The Firm".

Your permission to translate this? I really would like to show this to somebody back home in Finland!

 

[sergiogarcia9]

No, but I come from a family full of 'em. I have been asked that question so many times

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyers", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spill-over illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counterclockwise direction, said direction being nonnegotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the nonnegotiable directional codicil (counterclockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this selfsame document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being nonnegotiable and only until the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb") becomes snug in the party of the third part (Receptacle) and in fact becomes the party of the second part (Light Bulb).

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his or her heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him or her to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "The Firm".

:roflmao:

 

[Tews]

No, but I come from a family full of 'em. I have been asked that question so many times

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyers", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spill-over illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counterclockwise direction, said direction being nonnegotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the nonnegotiable directional codicil (counterclockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this selfsame document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being nonnegotiable and only until the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb") becomes snug in the party of the third part (Receptacle) and in fact becomes the party of the second part (Light Bulb).

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his or her heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him or her to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "The Firm".

Betcha a bag of Double Click Ad cookies you cant say that in one breath!!

 

[mickey megabyte]

:roflmao:

Antman, you crack me up - i would love to meet you to share a bottle of wine or two, and maybe smoke a dooby or ten...

if you're ever in south west england, send me a pm - i'm sure you would like my cats!

 

[JMH]

:roflmao:

Antman, you crack me up - i would love to meet you to share a bottle of wine or two, and maybe smoke a dooby or ten...

if you're ever in south west england, send me a pm - i'm sure you would like my cats!

Be careful with that invitation.
I understand that fish & guests stink after 5 days. Anyone with a tad of laywer about them make that 5 hours, oops sorry 1 hour.
From one mere mortal surrounded by Barristers. [Barristers = further qualified specialist lawyers.The ones who make the money.]

 

[Kari]

Mystery known as a male brain

I still remember when I got my first car. No problems recalling the exact date I bought my first PC. I remember the telephone numbers and email addresses of my family, friends and coworkers.

But today my wife asked if I still remember when we first met. I didn´t. I know the answer now, after she told me today is the 10th anniversary of that day. Before telling me I´d better find a way to show I understand how insensitive it was to forget.

So I guess it is not going to be pool and bier with guys tonight, like planned. Dinner reservation for tonight is OK, but where do I find an anniversary present today? This is Germany, everything is closed on Sundays.

Have to find something. I´m still too young (and too much in love) to move into a separate bedroom!

 

[mickey megabyte]

would she like a brand new iso burned onto a dvd?

 

[Kari]

would she like a brand new iso burned onto a dvd?

I do that and it is absolutely sure I´ll find myself in a separate bedroom.

 

[mickey megabyte]

aah how sweet, kinda makes me feel all GUI inside...

 

[Kari]

I was picking eggplants the first time I saw my beautiful wife. I looked up to the sky and said, "Thank you , God. That's her." True story.

I envy people who can remember it so. I´m still very much in love, but how and when we met I simply couldn´t remember. I can remember when, where and how I proposed, if I may defend myself.

I think tonight is going to be OK. Found from the net something she really likes and wants but has not bought because she thinks it´s too expensive. I think she´s deserved that, so I just finished printing a gift certificate (even with a speed courier she don´t get her present tonight). Dinner reservations OK, flowers and gift certificate soon delivered to the restaurant, food and wine selected and pre-ordered. And guys informed I´m not coming to pub tonight.

P.S. Antman, beautiful poem. Pitty I can not use it tonight, my wifes English is even worse than mine. But I found a nice German one.

 

[Kari]

Dinner was nice, wife happy, evening was perfect. Now our "romantic" bedtime routine, both sitting in front of individual laptops doing a last email check.

Life could be worse. I am a lucky man.

Good night,
Kari

P.S. Antman, the word your translator couldn´t translate: heartbeat = Herzschlag (heart = Herz, beat = Schlag. Nouns always written with capital letter.

 

[Uber Philf]

You luckly man >.<

 

[Kari]

Monday is always my HelpDesk-day for my customers, so been sitting since 08:00 by phone and computer (surfing all the time SevenForums , only a handful of calls so plenty of time).

Now it´s 2 PM, time for lunch with my wife and some shopping, need to find a new subwoofer for my Home Cinema system.

 

[Ballistyx]

Preparing for an interview tomorrow at the WorldBank. Swimming with my Number One at his friend's apartment community. We are going to toss a Baby Ruth into the pool.

YouTube - Caddyshack - Jaws !

HAhaha i watched that movie today lol funny movie

 

[Kari]

It´s 3:45 AM here. Second night in a row I can´t sleep. Tried it, waited polite in bed until wife started snoring. Waited still an hour, no use.

No problem, though. I am basically on holiday and besides I have this new addiction called The SevenForums.

Update: It´s 4:55 AM. What´s happening, why am i suddenly Insomniac?

 

[Kari]

It is here!

(Story developes here, here, here and here)

Got the car early today. Last week we had to change the color after the car dealer informed us that it would take longer than promised to get the color we ordered but if red was OK we could get it when originally promised. We said yes to red, I think it was a right decision. We are both happy with this color.

First stop to show the new car was the junkyard where the old car had its last resting place, my wife wanted to see how bad it was. She had only seen the photos. Like I had told her, our old car was no longer there.

There were all possible old junk cars around so my wife wanted a photo with her and new car in the middle of all this junk, "so that the beauty of myself and the color of the car are more obvious" (her words :sarc.

Parked next to junk or not, I feel happy for having got the car! (and her, of course)

 

[sergiogarcia9]

(Story developes here, here, here and here)

Got the car early today. Last week we had to change the color after the car dealer informed us that it would take longer than promised to get the color we ordered but if red was OK we could get it when originally promised. We said yes to red, I think it was a right decision. We are both happy with this color.

First stop to show the new car was the junkyard where the old car had its last resting place, my wife wanted to see how bad it was. She had only seen the photos. Like I had told her, our old car was no longer there.

There were all possible old junk cars around so my wife wanted a photo with her and new car in the middle of all this junk, "so that the beauty of myself and the color of the car are more obvious" (her words :sarc.

Parked next to junk or not, I feel happy for having got the car! (and her, of course)
View attachment 20481

Nice car, and really nice color