Jokes Thread 2

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  1. Posts : 9,537
    Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
       #461

    Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
    Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

    To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.

    It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:-


    1) Argued over nothing.
    2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.


    3) Gained weight.
    4) Talked excessively without making sense.


    5) Became overly emotional
    6) Couldn't drive.


    7) Failed to think rationally, and


    8) Had to sit down while urinating.
    No further testing was considered necessary!
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  2. Posts : 17,545
    Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
       #462

    The Howling Wolves said:
    No further testing was considered necessary!
      My Computer


  3. Posts : 2,493
    Windows 7 64Bit
       #463

    The Howling Wolves said:
    Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
    Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

    To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.

    It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:-


    1) Argued over nothing.
    2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.


    3) Gained weight.
    4) Talked excessively without making sense.


    5) Became overly emotional
    6) Couldn't drive.


    7) Failed to think rationally, and


    8) Had to sit down while urinating.
    No further testing was considered necessary!
      My Computer


  4. Posts : 22,814
    W 7 64-bit Ultimate
       #464

    The Howling Wolves said:
    Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
    Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

    To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.

    It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:-


    1) Argued over nothing.
    2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.


    3) Gained weight.
    4) Talked excessively without making sense.


    5) Became overly emotional
    6) Couldn't drive.


    7) Failed to think rationally, and


    8) Had to sit down while urinating.
    No further testing was considered necessary!
    LMAO!
      My Computer


  5. Posts : 7,538
    Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
       #465

    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


    Men Are Just Happier People--
    Your last name stays put..
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can never be pregnant.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Same work, more pay.
    Wrinkles add character.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    Your underwear is £9.50 for a three-pack.Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    Everything on your face stays its original colour.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 24 relatives on 24th December in 24 minutes.
    No wonder men are happier.


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  6. Posts : 208
    Windows 7 64 bit
       #466

    "Morning Sex"


    She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual

    soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only

    the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

    As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said

    softly,"
    You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

    My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming

    or this is going to be my lucky day!"

    Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then

    gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

    Afterwards she said,
    "Thanks," and returned to the stove,

    her T-shirt still around her neck.

    Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked
    "What was that all about?"

    She explained,
    "The egg timer's broken."
      My Computer


  7. Posts : 2,578
    Vista 64 bit and 32 bit (SP2)
       #467

    Just discovered this thread (believe it or not ) and I have to tell ya, you all have a great funny bone! Keep em coming --- they're great!
      My Computer


  8. Posts : 9,606
    Win7 Enterprise, Win7 x86 (Ult 7600), Win7 x64 Ult 7600, TechNet RTM on AMD x64 (2.8Ghz)
       #468

    Imperfect1 said:
    Just discovered this thread (believe it or not ) and I have to tell ya, you all have a great funny bone! Keep em coming --- they're great!



    I thought that you would like to hear this from me and not from someone else.

    I know what you are probably thinking.

    This is supposed to be a secret, but the truth will eventually come out.....
    Please don't think that I am gossiping.
    Anyway guess who is coming very shortly ?


    Scroll down……………………………..

















    Gotcha!!!
    Now get on with your work!!!
      My Computer


  9. Posts : 3,187
    Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
       #469

      My Computer


  10. Posts : 22,814
    W 7 64-bit Ultimate
       #470

    Santa really gets around!
    Jokes Thread 2 Attached Images Jokes Thread 2-santapoops.jpg 
      My Computer


 
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