Jokes Thread 2

[Athene]

I am sometimes amazed at how sleazy some threads can turn in a forum which is supposed to be devoted to Windows 7 and where already 13-year-olds can sign up (and since it is obviously impossible to check the true age, it can be assumed that there are people well below that age participating over here). I thought that it was a general computer forum rule to keep the conversation clean - including in the chillout section. I apologise in advance if I offended anyone, but I had to express my surprise at the "grossness" level.

 

[A Guy]

It's not all out sleaze, to be sure. Some double entendre to be sure.. I certainly doubt a 13 year old isn't exposed to much more. We are mostly adults here, and this is the chillout room. The admins obviously think the thread is within guidelines. Sorry if we offended you, none of us are intentionally offensive. A Guy

 

[seavixen32]

If ever you want to see a master class in double entendres, the series of Carry On films with Sid James & Co have no peer.

That said, I'm sure none of us had any intention to offend anyone so I apologise if we did.

 

[panais]

Why the thread is marked as solved? :huh:

 

[arkhi]

One day...
I asked God for a bike.
But I know God doesn't work that way.


So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

[panais]

One day...
I asked God for a bike.
But I know God doesn't work that way.


So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Good one!

I may do the same with a car.

 

[Phone Man]

One day...
I asked God for a bike.
But I know God doesn't work that way.


So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Good one!

I may do the same with a car.

God may forgive you but the Law won't. :busted:

Jim

 

[Phone Man]

You steal a bike and get caught and thrown in jail.
A big angry looking guy asks "what you in for?"
You say " Not much, just stole a bike"
He says. "So your the SOB that stole my little brothers bike!"

Jim

 

[panais]

You steal a bike and get caught and thrown in jail.
A big angry looking guy asks "what you in for?"
You say " Not much, just stole a bike"
He says. "So your the SOB that stole my little brothers bike!"

Jim

Oups! :shock:

 

[LADYPINKtomato1]

Subject: Marriage
Once upon a time, a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in the 25
years they had spent together.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of
their well-known 'happy going marriage'.
Editor: 'Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: 'We went to Mexico for our
honeymoon. Having selected horse riding as the first activity, we both started
the ride on different horses.
My horse was okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy
one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Getting up from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said, 'This is your
first time'.
She climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened
again. She again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued.
When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead!!
I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do, you psycho. You killed the poor animal.
Are you crazy?'
She gave me a silent look, smiled and said: 'This is your first time!!!

 

[panais]

Subject: Marriage
Once upon a time, a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in the 25
years they had spent together.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of
their well-known 'happy going marriage'.
Editor: 'Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: 'We went to Mexico for our
honeymoon. Having selected horse riding as the first activity, we both started
the ride on different horses.
My horse was okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy
one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Getting up from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said, 'This is your
first time'.
She climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened
again. She again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued.
When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead!!
I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do, you psycho. You killed the poor animal.
Are you crazy?'
She gave me a silent look, smiled and said: 'This is your first time!!!

:roflmao:

 

[A Guy]

Good one M'Lady

A Guy

 

[Maguscreed]

I am sometimes amazed at how sleazy some threads can turn in a forum which is supposed to be devoted to Windows 7 and where already 13-year-olds can sign up (and since it is obviously impossible to check the true age, it can be assumed that there are people well below that age participating over here). I thought that it was a general computer forum rule to keep the conversation clean - including in the chillout section. I apologise in advance if I offended anyone, but I had to express my surprise at the "grossness" level.

Let's be honest with ourselves though.
They see far worse on tv, in school, on the bus ride, in the mall.
People don't really seem to understand the fact that sex is so prevalent now that the average 6 year old has a full working knowledge of it. It's just impossible to hide in this day and age, we aren't being explicit at all. We aren't even using slang words.

The more you try to hide something from kids the more they seek it out anyway, it's a natural curiosity response. When we harp on them about not doing drugs many times it can have the reverse affect that was intended... what are drugs? maybe I should try them. I don't know it all seems rather twisted and bent to me.

 

[wilywombat]

Agreed Maguscreed...I personnaly am more offended by the conduct and actions of our so called "clean" politicians and bankers than I am of a couple of slighly racy jokes. Some people need to keep closer control of their childrens actions on the web if they have problems with this site...!

 

[Kari]

Geeks, I'm siding with Athene here. Although only happened a couple of times but I have reported some of jokes we've had here because I've found them not only sexually explicit (which I could if not accept but at least tolerate), but also in my personal opinion disturbingly rude an / or bad taste.

Then, again, you geeks have right; youngsters of today see, hear and know enough so that I do not think this Jokes section is going to "reveal" anything new to them.

Kari

 

[seavixen32]

As Paddy watched a truckload of turf (sod) being driven to its destination, he turned to Seamus and said, "I'm gonna do dat."

"Do what?" asked Seamus.

"Send my lawn away to be cut." replied Paddy.

 

[A Guy]

To be honest, I think we take our cues by what is posted and is allowed. I personally am not offended, and don't post racy jokes. But I made what I thought a funny post with the long thumb. Still think it was funny, but if anyone is offended, I would have to think hard before posting anything in the future. A Guy

 

[djl47]

13-year-olds can sign up (and since it is obviously impossible to check the true age, it can be assumed that there are people well below that age participating over here).

Don't worry about it. They're all hanging out on 4Chan, somethingawful, and /.

 

[Maguscreed]

13-year-olds can sign up (and since it is obviously impossible to check the true age, it can be assumed that there are people well below that age participating over here).

Don't worry about it. They're all hanging out on 4Chan, somethingawful, and /.

yeah if you are worried about what you see here for the love of all that is holy do not ever, ever, ever.. even think for a split second about visiting 4chan...

 

[Athene]

Geeks, I'm siding with Athene here. Although only happened a couple of times but I have reported some of jokes we've had here because I've found them not only sexually explicit (which I could if not accept but at least tolerate), but also in my personal opinion disturbingly rude an / or bad taste.

Then, again, you geeks have right; youngsters of today see, hear and know enough so that I do not think this Jokes section is going to "reveal" anything new to them.

Kari

Thanks, Kari :-D