Post a picture of you

[ICIT2LOL]

Yesterday Stella and myself finally after many months of surgery she is looking well

 

[A Guy]

That's great John!

A Guy

 

[Kari]

Beautiful girl .

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

She reminds me of my daughter when she was a year old. We had to put her in the hospital for UTI and she was fascinated by the aquarium they had in the children's play area. I promised her we would get her one if she got well. She did and we did (the first one wasn't as nice as that one, though).

 

[ICIT2LOL]

Yep she was born with an incomplete oesophagus and spent the first five months going to and from Sydney for major surgery to reconnect the oesophagus to her tiny stomach and now has further surgery planned for a slight cleft palate and having been recently found with slight hearing loss, so she does communicate in sign language for part of the time, and she has picked that up so quickly for an 18 month old child. So anyway my little lady bug has had her fair share of problems.
But is now looking so much better.

Thanks for all your kind words I will pass them onto my son Tim and his partner they went through hell for the first twelve months. It is so nice to be friends with you all on the forum and that what makes it so great.
John

 

[Joan Archer]

That's a brilliant photo John, she is certainly looking good and I'm sure will go from strength to strength.

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

Oh wow, John! I'm so glad she is doing better! Hang in there and give her a hug for me!

 

[Dude]

Good news John

 

[ICIT2LOL]

Thanks Joan Jeannie and Dude and everyone else yes I am sure she is over the worst of it although the surgery has to be repeated as she gets older and bigger but is far less risky obviously.
That band on her head by the way is a new form of hearing aid that works via bone conduction if you were wondering what the little button like thing on the front was.

Trouble is Mum doesn't get on with me for some weird reason so I don't get many chances of seeing her
On the bright side this is Stella with my wonderful son (same day) who I think is the best man I have ever known not just because he is my son but because he is just the perfect fellow. (Stellas watching the fish LOL!!)

 

[A Guy]

Another good picture John (son didn't inherit dads flowing locks )

A Guy

 

[linnemeyerhere]

 

[A Guy]

:devil2:

A Guy

 

[ICIT2LOL]

Another good picture John (son didn't inherit dads flowing locks )

A Guy

Yep mate only his brains LOL!!

 

[Lady Fitzgerald]

God only created a few perfect heads; the rest he covered with hair. Your granddaughter's fascination with fish reminds me of my daughter's. I remember once, well after we had her back home, we were having fish for dinner. after we told her it was fish we were eating, I caught her looking over at the aquarium as though she was taking inventory.

 

[ICIT2LOL]

God only created a few perfect heads; the rest he covered with hair. Your granddaughter's fascination with fish reminds me of my daughter's. I remember once, well after we had her back home, we were having fish for dinner. after we told her it was fish we were eating, I caught her looking over at the aquarium as though she was taking inventory.

Or maybe looking for the next meal LOL!! As for the hair there's no hope for me eh?

 

[Joan Archer]

Another good photo John, she definitely seems fascinated by the fish, mind you they are calming to watch and beautiful as well.

 

[andrew129260]

Thank you for all the advice guys!

You lucky dog lol.

I'm getting married as well soon To (imho) the most beautiful girl in the world.

I don't like posting pics online, so I won't do so.

But I wish you luck.

I found the best advice I have ever been given, was to sit down for a week or (month lol) and go over every possible situation you two could face together. You cannot prepare for everything, but its good and shares light on how people would act in different situations. The real test: Living together.

Who is going to do what chores? etc. Seriously, there is a lot of things you will not think about or could prepare for. But the more you talk things out, and think of situations it will really help.

It has for us. Haven't had a fight since. 6+ years.

And this is also random, but look into love languages. They say everyone has different ways of feeling loved. It is a very good idea to learn what makes your spouse feel loved.

 

[A Guy]

Not to be a wet blanket, and I'm sure you will be happy, but there is nothing like real life to test a relationship. I can't even begin to count number of happy couples, make the plunge, and broken up in 6 months.

Surely you must follow your heart if you are in love though. Look at an 80 year old couple holding hands, and know that is your future

A Guy

 

[Kari]

Andrew, as a semi-professional husband (happily 4 times divorced), I can tell you the secret of a successful marriage:

The key is that both husband and wife keep the conversation channels open all the time. Both should constantly keep telling about their plans, hopes, wishes and dreams, and then agree to do what the wife says. The wife then informs you about why your plans, hopes, wishes and dreams are wrong. This way you'll learn every day something new about yourself, learn to know how wrong you have been and how miserable you would be without her telling you what's right, what to do, how to do, when to do.

Some time between year 5 and 7 into the marriage you should have learned the correct way to discuss with her. Some pointers:

She will never ask your opinion because she wants to know it, she only asks it to get her opinion confirmed. This can be a bit tricky because the question often comes before you've had a change to hear her opinion. In these cases carefully try to find out the correct answer.

An example: She asks suddenly "Would you like to visit my parents this weekend?". Both "Yes, I would like it" and "No, I would not like it" are ATM wrong answers because you have yet no idea about what she wants (= the correct answer). You have to be careful now, find a question or two to find out the correct answer. You could for instance try something like this: "When was it now we have seen them last time?", which if you had any luck could produce the correct answer: "Yes, I was also thinking that we have not seen them in such a long time it would be nice to go there now".

Now you know. The correct answer is in this case "But of course I would like to go, my dear!".

The above is just an example, although based on real life events...

Another thing is to learn an answer pattern which keeps her happy. In couple of my last marriages this worked quite well:

Make a list of 6 to 8 short answers, practice it so that you can keep a conversation going. My list was this:

1. Yes
2. Of course, my dear
3. Yes
4. Interesting
5. Did she?
6. No, that's OK
7. Yes

Let her talk (anyway, you are not supposed to voice independent ideas or arguments). Now in every 20 to 40 seconds say the next item from your list, again wait 20 to 40 seconds and say the next item and so on. Using this my list as an example, I would let her start speaking then after about half a minute I would say "Yes", again after some half a minute I would say "Of course, my dear" and so on. After some practicing you can do this subconsciously, without thinking, so you can read or watch TV or surf the net, let her talk and in semi-regular intervals give her the feedback she is expecting to hear. As she is not really listening you it is irrelevant what you say, any short answer is OK.

Kari

 

[Golden]

Most excellent and correct advice Kari. I would like to add some further advice : all women marry men they hope will change, and all men marry women they hope will not. Both will be sorely disappointed (with apologies to Bernard Samson in London Match, by Len Deighton).