Jokes Thread [3]

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Also for Pebbly, LPT and Joan:

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you flaming idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her bloody husband!"
:roflmao:Nice one Andrew. :roflmao:
 

My Computer

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Acer Aspire XC-704 x64 bit/ Asus K55A Notebook PC/HP Envy x360 Convertible 15-bq0xx
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Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
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Intel Pentium J3710 @ 60GHz/Intel B820,1.7GHz/AMD A9 Radeon
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Acer Aspire XC-704 (SOCKET 0)/Asus/HP 8312 (Socket FP4)
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8.00GB DDR3 @ 1599MHz/8GB 2 x 4GB DDR3/8.00GB Dual-Channel
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Intel HD Graphics/Intel/512MB ATI AMD Radeon R5 Graphics (HP
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Realtek High Definition Audio/Onboard/AMD High Definition Au
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Acer LCD K222HQL /Asus 15.6/Generic PnP Monitor (1920x1080@6
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931GB Hitachi HGST HTS721010A9E630 (SATA)
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Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 (UK)/Inbuilt/Inbui
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Microsoft Optical Wheel Mouse/Same plus Touchpad/Same + Pad
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Infinity 2 up to 76 Mbps
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MSE/MSE/MSE and all 3 have MalwareBytes Premium
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Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox, Chrome
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Seagate Expansion 500GB External Desktop Drive
Seagate Expansion Portable Drives 500GB and 1TB
Epson XP-332 Wireless Printer
For Pebbly, Joan and LPt!

pants.gif

OOOOhhhh OOOOOpppp's.... looks like we are in deep water again.. or is it HOT water ?
lololololo.....:
::roflmao::roflmao:
 

My Computer

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Laptop
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Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
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Windows 8 - 64-bit
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2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
Memory
8GB DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
Screen Resolution
1280 X 1024
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1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
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Intel B960 processor
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XXXXX
Cooling
XXXXX
Keyboard
Multi Gesture Touchpad
Mouse
USB - portable mouse... I added this
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Avast
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I E 10
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I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
eMail msg
I am trying to locate the VM manual last seen in Brian's cubicle, which has since disappeared.

eMail Reply:
OMG, is Brian Ok?
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP Pavilion dv6-6c10us
OS
x64 (6.3.9600) Win8.1 Pro & soon dual boot x64 (6.1.7601) Win7_SP1 HomePrem
CPU
AMD A6-3420M APU with Radeon(tm) HD Graphics
Motherboard
Hewlett-Packard 1805
Memory
6.00 GB
Graphics Card(s)
AMD Radeon(TM) HD 6520G
Sound Card
(1) AMD High Definition Audio Device (2) IDT High Definiti
Monitor(s) Displays
HP W2072a 20" LCD (1600 x 900) @ 60 Hz
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1366 x 768 x 32 bits (4294967296 colors) @ 60 Hz
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ST640LM0 00 HM641JI SATA Disk Device
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Logitech k520 wireless KB
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Logitech m320 wireless mouse (bundled with KB)
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15/5 | 54 MB Wireless 'n'
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Realtime: Defender or Avast | On-demand: Malwarebytes, ESET
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IE 11 on Win8, IE 10 on win 7
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Media: [Gimp, Audacity, VLC] || Comm: [WEmail 2012, Skype] || Productivity: [OpenOffice,| Textpad] || Utils: [Sysinternals, cCleaner, Speccy, Defraggler]
This makes me very glad I'm NOT Jewish

WHY JEWISH DAUGHTERS NEED THERAPY

Jewish Mother: "Hello?"
Daughter: "Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?"
Jewish Mother: "You're going out?"
Daughter: "Yes."
Jewish Mother: "With whom?"
Daughter: "With a friend"
Jewish Mother: "I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man."
Daughter: "I didn't leave him. He left me"
Jewish Mother: "You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies."
Daughter: "I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids? "
Jewish Mother: "I never left you to go out with anybody except your father."
Daughter: "There are lots of things that you did, and I don't."
Jewish Mother: "What are you hinting at? "
Daughter: "Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight."
Jewish Mother: "You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?"
Daughter: "My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!"
Jewish Mother: "So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?"
Daughter: "He's not a loser."
Jewish Mother: "A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite."
Daughter: "I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not? "
Jewish Mother: "Poor children with such a mother."
Daughter: "Such a what?"
Jewish Mother: "With no stability. No wonder your husband left you."
Daughter: "ENOUGH!!! "
Jewish Mother "Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too! "
Daughter: "Now you're worried about the loser? "
Jewish Mother: "Ah, so you see he IS a loser. I spotted him immediately."
Daughter: "Goodbye, mother."
Jewish Mother: "Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?
Daughter: "I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!"
Jewish Mother: "If you never go out, how do expect to meet anyone?


View attachment 213693
 
Last edited:

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
OS
Windows 8 - 64-bit
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2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
Memory
8GB DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
Screen Resolution
1280 X 1024
Hard Drives
1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
PSU
Intel B960 processor
Case
XXXXX
Cooling
XXXXX
Keyboard
Multi Gesture Touchpad
Mouse
USB - portable mouse... I added this
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
I E 10
Other Info
I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
Last edited:

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
OS
Windows 8 - 64-bit
CPU
2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
Memory
8GB DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
Screen Resolution
1280 X 1024
Hard Drives
1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
PSU
Intel B960 processor
Case
XXXXX
Cooling
XXXXX
Keyboard
Multi Gesture Touchpad
Mouse
USB - portable mouse... I added this
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
I E 10
Other Info
I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
I'll be waiting on the front porch !!!

*On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door
of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I
will give you a life span of twenty years.*


*
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I'll give you back the other ten?"


And God said that it was good.


On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people,
do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year
life span."


The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"


And God again said that it was good.


On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the
field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves
and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you
a life span of sixty years."


The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"


And God agreed it was good.


On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry
and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."


But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"


"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."


So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.


Life has now been explained to you.


There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it
as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front
porch.*
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
OS
Windows 8 - 64-bit
CPU
2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
Memory
8GB DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
Screen Resolution
1280 X 1024
Hard Drives
1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
PSU
Intel B960 processor
Case
XXXXX
Cooling
XXXXX
Keyboard
Multi Gesture Touchpad
Mouse
USB - portable mouse... I added this
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
I E 10
Other Info
I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
LPt

I'm still trying to survive the monkey tricks.

If the ambulance ever arrives to get me off the floor I'll wave to you as they carry me pass the porch. :D ;)
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Hopalong/ Godzilla
OS
Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
CPU
Intel Core i7-870 Lynnfield 2.93GHz LGA 1156 95W Quad-Core
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D-E PRO
Memory
8GB@1400MHz Crucial Ballistix DDR3-1600 4x2GB
Graphics Card(s)
ASUS ENGTX460 DirectCU/2DI/1GD5 1GB 256-bit GDDR5
Sound Card
VIA Onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
Asus VS248H-P 24"; Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19"ws
Screen Resolution
1920x1080; 1440x900
Hard Drives
Samsung 830 120GB SSD
Intel 320 120GB SSD
Western Digital Caviar Black WD7501AALS 750GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
Western Digital Caviar Black WD6401AALS 640GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
PSU
COOLER MASTER Silent Pro RS850-AMBAJ3-US 850W Modular
Case
COOLER MASTER HAF 932 RC-932-KKN5-GP Black
Cooling
Scythe "Mugen-2 Rev.B" (2 ScytheKaze-Jyuni PWM fans)
Keyboard
Logitech K-320
Mouse
Kensington
Antivirus
Avast Inernet Suite
Browser
IE 9 ; Chrome
Was driving through your neighborhood and saw you sitting there...
27430.jpg

waiting for LPt to stroll by!
THW
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP M9077c
OS
Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
CPU
Intel(R)Core(TM)2 quad [email protected] 2.39GHz
Motherboard
ASUSeK
Memory
6GB DDR2 6400
Graphics Card(s)
GeForce 8500/512MB
Sound Card
Realtek High Def Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
HP w2408 LCD 24" widescreen
Screen Resolution
1920x1200
Cooling
6 pack of Bud
Keyboard
MS wireless Inteli
Mouse
MS wireless Inteli

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Hopalong/ Godzilla
OS
Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
CPU
Intel Core i7-870 Lynnfield 2.93GHz LGA 1156 95W Quad-Core
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D-E PRO
Memory
8GB@1400MHz Crucial Ballistix DDR3-1600 4x2GB
Graphics Card(s)
ASUS ENGTX460 DirectCU/2DI/1GD5 1GB 256-bit GDDR5
Sound Card
VIA Onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
Asus VS248H-P 24"; Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19"ws
Screen Resolution
1920x1080; 1440x900
Hard Drives
Samsung 830 120GB SSD
Intel 320 120GB SSD
Western Digital Caviar Black WD7501AALS 750GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
Western Digital Caviar Black WD6401AALS 640GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
PSU
COOLER MASTER Silent Pro RS850-AMBAJ3-US 850W Modular
Case
COOLER MASTER HAF 932 RC-932-KKN5-GP Black
Cooling
Scythe "Mugen-2 Rev.B" (2 ScytheKaze-Jyuni PWM fans)
Keyboard
Logitech K-320
Mouse
Kensington
Antivirus
Avast Inernet Suite
Browser
IE 9 ; Chrome
wolf22dw.gif


That was you!

I am still looking around for that Hot Tomato!
THW
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP M9077c
OS
Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
CPU
Intel(R)Core(TM)2 quad [email protected] 2.39GHz
Motherboard
ASUSeK
Memory
6GB DDR2 6400
Graphics Card(s)
GeForce 8500/512MB
Sound Card
Realtek High Def Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
HP w2408 LCD 24" widescreen
Screen Resolution
1920x1200
Cooling
6 pack of Bud
Keyboard
MS wireless Inteli
Mouse
MS wireless Inteli
:roflmao:
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Acer Aspire XC-704 x64 bit/ Asus K55A Notebook PC/HP Envy x360 Convertible 15-bq0xx
OS
Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
CPU
Intel Pentium J3710 @ 60GHz/Intel B820,1.7GHz/AMD A9 Radeon
Motherboard
Acer Aspire XC-704 (SOCKET 0)/Asus/HP 8312 (Socket FP4)
Memory
8.00GB DDR3 @ 1599MHz/8GB 2 x 4GB DDR3/8.00GB Dual-Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics/Intel/512MB ATI AMD Radeon R5 Graphics (HP
Sound Card
Realtek High Definition Audio/Onboard/AMD High Definition Au
Monitor(s) Displays
Acer LCD K222HQL /Asus 15.6/Generic PnP Monitor (1920x1080@6
Screen Resolution
1920x1080@59Hz/1366 x 768/1920x1080@60Hz
Hard Drives
1863GBWesternn Digital WDC/Asus/119GB SanDisk SD8SN8U-128G-1006 (SSD)
931GB Hitachi HGST HTS721010A9E630 (SATA)
Keyboard
Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 (UK)/Inbuilt/Inbui
Mouse
Microsoft Optical Wheel Mouse/Same plus Touchpad/Same + Pad
Internet Speed
Infinity 2 up to 76 Mbps
Antivirus
MSE/MSE/MSE and all 3 have MalwareBytes Premium
Browser
Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox, Chrome
Other Info
Seagate Expansion 500GB External Desktop Drive
Seagate Expansion Portable Drives 500GB and 1TB
Epson XP-332 Wireless Printer
Ahh, the Wolfy and Hoppy show. I've missed it! :D

A Guy
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
OS
Windows 10 Home x64
CPU
INTEL Core i5-750 Quad-Core 3.37GHz
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D
Memory
HyperX Fury Black Series 8GB (2 x 4GB) 1866Mhz
Graphics Card(s)
EVGA GeForce GTX 750 Superclocked 1GB 128-Bit GDDR5
Monitor(s) Displays
LG 32MA68HY 32" IPS
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
Samsung 840 Evo 120GB, SEAGATE 500GB Barracuda® 7200.12, SATA 3 Gb/s, 7200 RPM, 16MB cache
PSU
ANTEC TruePower New TP-550, 80 PLUS, 550W
Case
ANTEC Three Hundred Illusion
Cooling
COOLER MASTER Hyper 212 Plus, 4 x 120mm 1 x 140mm Noctua's
Internet Speed
85 + Mbps
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
Vivaldi
Never heard of the Wolfy and Hoppy show... but it looks hilarious :roflmao:
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Hewlett-Packard
OS
Windows 7 Professional 32-bit (6.1, Build 7600)
Memory
4096MB RAM
Graphics Card(s)
Radeon ATI HD4870
Monitor(s) Displays
NVIDIA GeForce GT220
Screen Resolution
1680 x 1050

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Hopalong/ Godzilla
OS
Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
CPU
Intel Core i7-870 Lynnfield 2.93GHz LGA 1156 95W Quad-Core
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D-E PRO
Memory
8GB@1400MHz Crucial Ballistix DDR3-1600 4x2GB
Graphics Card(s)
ASUS ENGTX460 DirectCU/2DI/1GD5 1GB 256-bit GDDR5
Sound Card
VIA Onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
Asus VS248H-P 24"; Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19"ws
Screen Resolution
1920x1080; 1440x900
Hard Drives
Samsung 830 120GB SSD
Intel 320 120GB SSD
Western Digital Caviar Black WD7501AALS 750GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
Western Digital Caviar Black WD6401AALS 640GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
PSU
COOLER MASTER Silent Pro RS850-AMBAJ3-US 850W Modular
Case
COOLER MASTER HAF 932 RC-932-KKN5-GP Black
Cooling
Scythe "Mugen-2 Rev.B" (2 ScytheKaze-Jyuni PWM fans)
Keyboard
Logitech K-320
Mouse
Kensington
Antivirus
Avast Inernet Suite
Browser
IE 9 ; Chrome
Well, there was old involved ;)

A Guy
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
OS
Windows 10 Home x64
CPU
INTEL Core i5-750 Quad-Core 3.37GHz
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D
Memory
HyperX Fury Black Series 8GB (2 x 4GB) 1866Mhz
Graphics Card(s)
EVGA GeForce GTX 750 Superclocked 1GB 128-Bit GDDR5
Monitor(s) Displays
LG 32MA68HY 32" IPS
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
Samsung 840 Evo 120GB, SEAGATE 500GB Barracuda® 7200.12, SATA 3 Gb/s, 7200 RPM, 16MB cache
PSU
ANTEC TruePower New TP-550, 80 PLUS, 550W
Case
ANTEC Three Hundred Illusion
Cooling
COOLER MASTER Hyper 212 Plus, 4 x 120mm 1 x 140mm Noctua's
Internet Speed
85 + Mbps
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
Vivaldi
At last, now I understand - you made it all so clear. (d)
Except the barking monkey part. :what:

I'll be waiting on the front porch !!!.....

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP Pavilion dv6-6c10us
OS
x64 (6.3.9600) Win8.1 Pro & soon dual boot x64 (6.1.7601) Win7_SP1 HomePrem
CPU
AMD A6-3420M APU with Radeon(tm) HD Graphics
Motherboard
Hewlett-Packard 1805
Memory
6.00 GB
Graphics Card(s)
AMD Radeon(TM) HD 6520G
Sound Card
(1) AMD High Definition Audio Device (2) IDT High Definiti
Monitor(s) Displays
HP W2072a 20" LCD (1600 x 900) @ 60 Hz
Screen Resolution
1366 x 768 x 32 bits (4294967296 colors) @ 60 Hz
Hard Drives
ST640LM0 00 HM641JI SATA Disk Device
Keyboard
Logitech k520 wireless KB
Mouse
Logitech m320 wireless mouse (bundled with KB)
Internet Speed
15/5 | 54 MB Wireless 'n'
Antivirus
Realtime: Defender or Avast | On-demand: Malwarebytes, ESET
Browser
IE 11 on Win8, IE 10 on win 7
Other Info
Media: [Gimp, Audacity, VLC] || Comm: [WEmail 2012, Skype] || Productivity: [OpenOffice,| Textpad] || Utils: [Sysinternals, cCleaner, Speccy, Defraggler]
At last, now I understand - you made it all so clear. (d)
Except the barking monkey part. :what:
Slartybart

Wait until the pink elephant shows up. :dinesh:
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Hopalong/ Godzilla
OS
Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
CPU
Intel Core i7-870 Lynnfield 2.93GHz LGA 1156 95W Quad-Core
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D-E PRO
Memory
8GB@1400MHz Crucial Ballistix DDR3-1600 4x2GB
Graphics Card(s)
ASUS ENGTX460 DirectCU/2DI/1GD5 1GB 256-bit GDDR5
Sound Card
VIA Onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
Asus VS248H-P 24"; Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19"ws
Screen Resolution
1920x1080; 1440x900
Hard Drives
Samsung 830 120GB SSD
Intel 320 120GB SSD
Western Digital Caviar Black WD7501AALS 750GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
Western Digital Caviar Black WD6401AALS 640GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
PSU
COOLER MASTER Silent Pro RS850-AMBAJ3-US 850W Modular
Case
COOLER MASTER HAF 932 RC-932-KKN5-GP Black
Cooling
Scythe "Mugen-2 Rev.B" (2 ScytheKaze-Jyuni PWM fans)
Keyboard
Logitech K-320
Mouse
Kensington
Antivirus
Avast Inernet Suite
Browser
IE 9 ; Chrome
Maria had just got married, and being a traditional Italian bride, was still a virgin.

On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was understandably very nervous.

"Don't worry, Maria," her mother said. "Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."

"Meanwhile, I'll be in the kitchen making pasta for tomorrow's dinner."

With that, Maria went upstairs just as Tony was taking his shirt off to reveal a hairy chest.

Maria rushed downstairs and yelled, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a hairy chest!"

"Don't worry." replied her mother. "All good men have hairy chests. Now go back upstairs. Tony will take good care of you."

Maria went upstairs again just as Tony had taken his trousers off to reveal hairy legs.

Again, she rushed downstairs and cried, "Mama, Mama, Tony has taken his trousers off and he's got hairy legs!"

"Don't worry. All men have hairy legs. Now go back upstairs to Tony. He'll take good care of you."

With that, Maris went back upstairs just as tony was taking his socks off, revealing that he had three toes missing from his left foot.

Maria flew downstairs again and screamed, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot-and-a-half!"

"Don't worry!" exclaimed Mama. "You stay here and stir the pasta!"
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP Pavilion Elite 495UK
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
CPU
Intel Core i7 870 @ 2.93GHz
Motherboard
MSI 2A9C (CPU1)
Memory
8Gb Dual-Channel DDR3 @ 664MHz
Graphics Card(s)
nVidia GeForce GTX 460 1024MB dedicated RAM
Sound Card
Realtek HD Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
HP2310i
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
1x1954GB Hitachi HDS22020ALA 330 (RAID), 1x1954GB Hitachi External for backup and storage
PSU
460W
Case
HP Elite
Cooling
Air cooled
Keyboard
Logitech K750 solar-powered keyboard
Mouse
Logitech Wireless M180 mouse
Internet Speed
2Mb
Other Info
Pure Avanti Flow Internet Radio with iPod Dock, 64Gb iPod, HP USB Speakers, Sony MDR-V500 Headphones, Sony Vaio F-Series Laptop
[/attach]
 
Last edited:

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
OS
Windows 8 - 64-bit
CPU
2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
Memory
8GB DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
Screen Resolution
1280 X 1024
Hard Drives
1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
PSU
Intel B960 processor
Case
XXXXX
Cooling
XXXXX
Keyboard
Multi Gesture Touchpad
Mouse
USB - portable mouse... I added this
Antivirus
Avast
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I E 10
Other Info
I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
Glad you liked it LPT, laughter is the best medicine! :D
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP Pavilion Elite 495UK
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
CPU
Intel Core i7 870 @ 2.93GHz
Motherboard
MSI 2A9C (CPU1)
Memory
8Gb Dual-Channel DDR3 @ 664MHz
Graphics Card(s)
nVidia GeForce GTX 460 1024MB dedicated RAM
Sound Card
Realtek HD Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
HP2310i
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
1x1954GB Hitachi HDS22020ALA 330 (RAID), 1x1954GB Hitachi External for backup and storage
PSU
460W
Case
HP Elite
Cooling
Air cooled
Keyboard
Logitech K750 solar-powered keyboard
Mouse
Logitech Wireless M180 mouse
Internet Speed
2Mb
Other Info
Pure Avanti Flow Internet Radio with iPod Dock, 64Gb iPod, HP USB Speakers, Sony MDR-V500 Headphones, Sony Vaio F-Series Laptop
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