I suppose one might be able to take away from that that LG players completely fscking suck or something.
Well, if both of your players were LG players and they both had all of the problems that you described, I would have to agree that they do suck.
and just how some people complain that every time they turn their xbox or ps3 on they have to do an update taking 5-20 minutes while others say they virtually never have to it really comes down to how often you DO use it and how bleeding edge you buy your movies.
My PS3 and my Xbox360 certainly do update from time to time. Most updates are very quick and speedy. Only a major update would take anywhere near 5-20 minutes and those are rare. The overwhelming majority of updates on my game consoles are game updates.
As far as bleeding edge discs, I don't buy many discs at all. The movies I do buy are all kids and animated movies and I buy them as soon as they are released. But I do rent a fair number of movies and they are always new releases that have only been out a few days to a week...so I would count those as bleeding edge. I usually rent at least 1 movie a week.
When I was searching for help on the non playable disk problem it was pretty rampant and always with new releases. The only seemingly "reliable" player is not surprisingly the PS3 which sony keeps updated on the sly every time you use it and of course since they are the gatekeepers of the changes they roll them out before anyone else has a chance.
Well, if my PS3 updates behind the scenes and I don't notice it, I don't really care. With that said, I can say that I also have a Panasonic DMP-BD35 and it's been as reliable as can be. Never, not once, a single problem that actually required an update to play a disc. And like I said, it doesn't have an ethernet connection and I cannot even remember the last time I updated it..but I would bet a dollar to a donut that's its been at least 18 months.
I guess if you want to play with bluray you should go sony or go home

Just not sure how much more crap I can take from them...
Aside from my PS3, I don't use Sony myself. I had a bad experience with them once on a TV and won't buy any product from them that is also made by any other manufacturer. Since my PS3 is a Sony only product, I had no other choice.
I've heard of a problem here and there, but never anything as bad as what you have experienced. I would seriously dump those LG players and get something else. My dad has a Samsung, I have a Panasonic and of course my Sony PS3 and we have been trouble free.