Jokes Thread 2

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Ruger is coming out with a new pistol. It will be called the "Congressman". It doesn't work & you can't fire it.
 

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Hewlett-Packard XG809UA#ABA
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Windows 7
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Advanced Micro Devices (AMD)
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250GB (5400RPM) Hard Drive 2048MB (2GB) RAM
I think we've had those for years now.. hopefully this will be corrected in 2012.
 

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Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
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Windows 8 - 64-bit
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2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
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8GB DDR3
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Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
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17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
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1280 X 1024
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1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
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XXXXX
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XXXXX
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Multi Gesture Touchpad
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USB - portable mouse... I added this
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Avast
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I E 10
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I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
Catholic Math

Little Aaron, who was Jewish, was doing very poorly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, and everything else they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Aaron and enrolled him in a special program at a local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Aaron came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Aaron was hard at work. His mother was amazed.


His Mother called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day while his mother tried to understand what made all the difference.


Finally, little Aaron brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Aaron got an A in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?"


Little Aaron looked at her and shook his head, no.


"Well, then," she replied, "was it the discipline, the structure, the books, the uniforms??


"No", said little Aaron.


WHHHAAATTT was it then???", she asked.


Little Aaron looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the
plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
 

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HP-G72
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Windows Home Premium 64 Bit
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Intel i3
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4GB
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LGE2750
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1920x1080
Keyboard
MS Comfort Curve 2000
Mouse
MS 3500
Little Aaron, who was Jewish, was doing very poorly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, and everything else they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Aaron and enrolled him in a special program at a local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Aaron came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Aaron was hard at work. His mother was amazed.


His Mother called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day while his mother tried to understand what made all the difference.


Finally, little Aaron brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Aaron got an A in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?"


Little Aaron looked at her and shook his head, no.


"Well, then," she replied, "was it the discipline, the structure, the books, the uniforms??


"No", said little Aaron.


WHHHAAATTT was it then???", she asked.


Little Aaron looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the
plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
One from the best! :roflmao:
 

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Custom Built by me.
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Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
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Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600
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Gigabyte GA-X38-DS4
Memory
2X2GB DDR2 PC6400 800MHZ DUAL CHANNEL
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XFX RADEON HD 6850 1GB GDDR5
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2/4/5.1/7.1-channel Realtek High Definition
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Samsung LE40A656F1 1080p 100Hz LCD HD TV 50,000:1
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1366x768 in Desktop,1920x1080p in gaming and video
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C:\WD VelociRaptor 150 GB,10,000 RPM
E:\WESTERN DIGITAL WD15EADS 1.5TB CAVIAR GREEN SATA2 F:\WESTERN DIGITAL WD15EADS 1.5TB CAVIAR GREEN SATA2
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THERMALTAKE W0229 TOUGHPOWER XT 750W
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A-Case Twin Engine BB
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3 x thermaltake smart case fan II + 1 arctic cooling fan
Keyboard
Wireless Logitech LX710
Mouse
Logitech Wireless Gaming Mouse G700
Internet Speed
ADSL 12000 plus
Other Info
Mouse Logitech G700,with 13 buttons who needs keyboard in RPG?

D:\Sony high speed sata Dvd Rewriter
Logitech Cordless Rumblepad 2
It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.


* * *

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin...



1. What do you put in a toaster?
















Answer: "bread."


If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.



2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?











Answer: Cows drink water.


If you said "milk," don't Attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat! Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Readers Digest. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.



3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?











Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.


If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???

If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.










4. It's thirty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?









Answer: You don't bury survivors!


If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.




5. Without using a calculator -


You are driving a bus from San Francisco to Santa Rosa.

In San Francisco, nineteen people get on the bus;
In Sausilito, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.
In Mill Valley, five people get off and four get on.
In San Rafael, eleven people get off and sixteen people get on.
In Petaluma, three people get off and five people get on
In Cotati, six people get off and three get on.
You then arrive in Santa Rosa.
What was the name of the bus driver?








Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name?


It was YOU!!
 

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HP-G72
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Windows Home Premium 64 Bit
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Intel i3
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4GB
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LGE2750
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1920x1080
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MS Comfort Curve 2000
Mouse
MS 3500
You are driving a bus from San Francisco to Santa Rosa.


I was not driving that bus. I don't work for the bus company and I do not have a CDL.
I don't even have a bus pass.

So if your trying to accuse me of stealing that bus forget it.
I was never in San Francisco or Stanta Rosa.
I have never been to California in my life.

So go find some other sucker to interrogate about your stolen bus!

Arnold
(ex-governator, ex-husband)


;) :D
 

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Hopalong/ Godzilla
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Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
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Intel Core i7-870 Lynnfield 2.93GHz LGA 1156 95W Quad-Core
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ASUS P7P55D-E PRO
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8GB@1400MHz Crucial Ballistix DDR3-1600 4x2GB
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ASUS ENGTX460 DirectCU/2DI/1GD5 1GB 256-bit GDDR5
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VIA Onboard
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Asus VS248H-P 24"; Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19"ws
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1920x1080; 1440x900
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Samsung 830 120GB SSD
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Western Digital Caviar Black WD7501AALS 750GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
Western Digital Caviar Black WD6401AALS 640GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
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COOLER MASTER Silent Pro RS850-AMBAJ3-US 850W Modular
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COOLER MASTER HAF 932 RC-932-KKN5-GP Black
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Scythe "Mugen-2 Rev.B" (2 ScytheKaze-Jyuni PWM fans)
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Logitech K-320
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Kensington
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Avast Inernet Suite
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IE 9 ; Chrome
ArnoldSchwarzenegger.jpg

I conquer..


- er, sorry - concur..
 

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PC/Desktop
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benchtec, built to personal specs
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Windows10 Pro - 64Bit vs.10547
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i7-965 Extreme Edition (8 Cores) at 3.3GHz (no OC)
Motherboard
BloodRageX58 (Socket1366)
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12G Corsair Dominator DDR3 - tripled
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2xAMD SapphireNITRO R9 380(4G) crossfire
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Sonar(SB)X-Fi onboard
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SyncMaster P2050 20"
Screen Resolution
1600x900 (widescreen)
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480G\OCZSolid3SSD, 64G\OCZVertex3SSD,60G\OCZVertex2SSD, 1TB\spinpointF1SATAHDD
PSU
1200w Power Station Gold
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ANTEC 900/2 all blue lights, etc..
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Noctua SE1366 NH-U12P - a tight fit, but a monster cooler!!
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Logitech G19 (wired)
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Logitech G9 Laser (wired)
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150mb unlimited
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IE11(RP)
Other Info
Xbox One, Nokia735 Windows10 mobile, LG HD/DVD/Blu-Ray r/w, CyberlinkPowerDVD15, LogitechZ5500-SS(5.1), LogitechG35Phones-SS(7.1),MSOffice 2007,CorelDrawX7,Painter2016, Wacom Intuos Pro-SE

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Custom Built by me.
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
CPU
Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-X38-DS4
Memory
2X2GB DDR2 PC6400 800MHZ DUAL CHANNEL
Graphics Card(s)
XFX RADEON HD 6850 1GB GDDR5
Sound Card
2/4/5.1/7.1-channel Realtek High Definition
Monitor(s) Displays
Samsung LE40A656F1 1080p 100Hz LCD HD TV 50,000:1
Screen Resolution
1366x768 in Desktop,1920x1080p in gaming and video
Hard Drives
C:\WD VelociRaptor 150 GB,10,000 RPM
E:\WESTERN DIGITAL WD15EADS 1.5TB CAVIAR GREEN SATA2 F:\WESTERN DIGITAL WD15EADS 1.5TB CAVIAR GREEN SATA2
PSU
THERMALTAKE W0229 TOUGHPOWER XT 750W
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A-Case Twin Engine BB
Cooling
3 x thermaltake smart case fan II + 1 arctic cooling fan
Keyboard
Wireless Logitech LX710
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Logitech Wireless Gaming Mouse G700
Internet Speed
ADSL 12000 plus
Other Info
Mouse Logitech G700,with 13 buttons who needs keyboard in RPG?

D:\Sony high speed sata Dvd Rewriter
Logitech Cordless Rumblepad 2




This is a must read to the end






Moral of this story is.......BRILLIANT!!




This is a story about
A Fly, a Fish, a Bear

A Hunter, a Mouse and a Cat.



There is a moral to this story....
In the dead of summer, a fly was resting among leaves beside a stream.

The hot, dry fly said to no one in particular,
'Gosh....if I go down three inches,
I will feel the mist
from the water and I will be refreshed.'
There was a fish in the water thinking,
'Gosh....if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him.'
There was a bear on the shore thinking,
'Gosh....if that fly goes down three inches,
that fish will jump for the fly....
and I will grab the fish!!'
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank
of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich....

'Gosh,' he thought, 'if that fly goes down three inches....
and that fish leaps for it....
that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish.
I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch.'
Now, you probably think this is
enough activity on one river bank,
but I can tell you there's more....

A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking,
'Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches....
and that fish jumps for that fly....
and that bear grabs for that fish....
the dumb hunter will shoot the bear
and drop his cheese sandwich.'
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought,
(as was fashionable to do on the banks of
this particular river around lunch time)
'Gosh.....if that fly goes down three inches....
and that fish jumps for that fly,
and that bear grabs for that fish,
and that hunter shoots that bear,
and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich,
then I can have mouse for lunch.'
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he
heads down for the cooling mist of the water.

The fish swallows the fly....
The bear grabs the fish....
The hunter shoots the bear....
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich....

The cat jumps for the mouse....
The mouse ducks....
The cat falls into the water and drowns.
NOW, The Moral Of The Story....
Whenever a fly goes down three inches,
some pussy's gonna be in serious danger.


Regards and sorry:D

UKMedia



 

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Self Build
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Windows 7 Ultimate 64Bit (SP 1)
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Intel Core i7 4770K OC
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ASUS Maximus VII Ranger
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32GB 1600Mhz DDR3
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MSI GTX580 Twin Frozr II/OC and NVIDIA GTX 970
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On-Board and Soundblaster Recon 3 D headset
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x2 Flat screen 21" LG displays + x1 LG W2363D (3D)
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5 internal Hard Drives:
1 x WD 120GB Solid State
4 x WD 1TB (CAVIAR BLACK 1TB 32MB 7200 SATA) as Raid 5 array
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Dark Power Pro 10 1200W
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CoolerMaster HAF 932 Case - Black
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Thermaltake Contac21 cooler
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Cyborg
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Razor Mamba
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0.5 Mb - (Benefits of rural location!) & 24 MB Sat
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MSE
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Teaming 2 GB network connection to Wired 1GB switch.
Connected to 37TB (Raid 5) of network storage on a wired 1GB lan.
(Mixture of internal hard drives, 1TB, 2TB, 4TB & 16TB Terastations)
UKMedia,
Are you out to challenge Pebbly for her Naughty Title?
Good Luck if you are.....
THW
 

My Computer

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HP M9077c
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Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
CPU
Intel(R)Core(TM)2 quad [email protected] 2.39GHz
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ASUSeK
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6GB DDR2 6400
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GeForce 8500/512MB
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Realtek High Def Audio
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HP w2408 LCD 24" widescreen
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1920x1200
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6 pack of Bud
Keyboard
MS wireless Inteli
Mouse
MS wireless Inteli
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctor,
engineer, accountant and lawyer and prospered.
Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed
the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother who lived far
away in another city.
The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said,"I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."
The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600."
The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Bible
and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well. I
met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible.
It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute
$100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama
just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed.
After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote: "Milton, The
house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the
whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered,
so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael, you give me an expensive theater with Dolby sound. It could hold
50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly
blind.. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Dearest Melvin, You were the only son to have the good sense to give a
little thought to your gift. It was ages since I had nice chicken, and the
chicken you sent was very delicious. Thank you."
 

My Computer

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custom
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Windows 7 Ultimate 32bit SP1
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Intel E5700 3.0GHz
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Asus P5G41C-M LX
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G.Skill [ RipjawsX ] F3-10666CL8D-4GBXM
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XFX ATI Radeon HD 4670 1 GB DDR3
Sound Card
on board VIA
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Acer 18.5 in
Screen Resolution
1366X768
Hard Drives
Seagate 250GB Sata
Western Digital 500GB Sata
PSU
Cooler Master Extreme power 500W
Case
inWin Dragon Slayer
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Deepcool Alpha 400
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A4 tech
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A4 tech
Internet Speed
2Mbps
Other Info
Acer Aspire 4750G
- Intel core i3 2310M
- 1GB NVIDIA GeForce GT 540M
Creative SBS A300
Logitech F310 gamepad
Don't know if this one has been posted before but it made me chuckle.

Little Girl On A Plane
A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care or the economy when you don't know crap?"

Then she went back to reading her book
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Acer Aspire XC-704 x64 bit/ Asus K55A Notebook PC/HP Envy x360 Convertible 15-bq0xx
OS
Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
CPU
Intel Pentium J3710 @ 60GHz/Intel B820,1.7GHz/AMD A9 Radeon
Motherboard
Acer Aspire XC-704 (SOCKET 0)/Asus/HP 8312 (Socket FP4)
Memory
8.00GB DDR3 @ 1599MHz/8GB 2 x 4GB DDR3/8.00GB Dual-Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics/Intel/512MB ATI AMD Radeon R5 Graphics (HP
Sound Card
Realtek High Definition Audio/Onboard/AMD High Definition Au
Monitor(s) Displays
Acer LCD K222HQL /Asus 15.6/Generic PnP Monitor (1920x1080@6
Screen Resolution
1920x1080@59Hz/1366 x 768/1920x1080@60Hz
Hard Drives
1863GBWesternn Digital WDC/Asus/119GB SanDisk SD8SN8U-128G-1006 (SSD)
931GB Hitachi HGST HTS721010A9E630 (SATA)
Keyboard
Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 (UK)/Inbuilt/Inbui
Mouse
Microsoft Optical Wheel Mouse/Same plus Touchpad/Same + Pad
Internet Speed
Infinity 2 up to 76 Mbps
Antivirus
MSE/MSE/MSE and all 3 have MalwareBytes Premium
Browser
Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox, Chrome
Other Info
Seagate Expansion 500GB External Desktop Drive
Seagate Expansion Portable Drives 500GB and 1TB
Epson XP-332 Wireless Printer
Should I Really Join Facebook ? (Priceless)

A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!!
AND really quite true!!

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the thirty-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures, and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook , so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great-grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue Tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do toot a lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.
We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
 

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Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
OS
Windows 8 - 64-bit
CPU
2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
Memory
8GB DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
Screen Resolution
1280 X 1024
Hard Drives
1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
PSU
Intel B960 processor
Case
XXXXX
Cooling
XXXXX
Keyboard
Multi Gesture Touchpad
Mouse
USB - portable mouse... I added this
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
I E 10
Other Info
I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
Joan :thumbsup::roflmao:
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
OS
Windows 8 - 64-bit
CPU
2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
Memory
8GB DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
Screen Resolution
1280 X 1024
Hard Drives
1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
PSU
Intel B960 processor
Case
XXXXX
Cooling
XXXXX
Keyboard
Multi Gesture Touchpad
Mouse
USB - portable mouse... I added this
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
I E 10
Other Info
I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
download.axd
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Acer Aspire XC-704 x64 bit/ Asus K55A Notebook PC/HP Envy x360 Convertible 15-bq0xx
OS
Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
CPU
Intel Pentium J3710 @ 60GHz/Intel B820,1.7GHz/AMD A9 Radeon
Motherboard
Acer Aspire XC-704 (SOCKET 0)/Asus/HP 8312 (Socket FP4)
Memory
8.00GB DDR3 @ 1599MHz/8GB 2 x 4GB DDR3/8.00GB Dual-Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics/Intel/512MB ATI AMD Radeon R5 Graphics (HP
Sound Card
Realtek High Definition Audio/Onboard/AMD High Definition Au
Monitor(s) Displays
Acer LCD K222HQL /Asus 15.6/Generic PnP Monitor (1920x1080@6
Screen Resolution
1920x1080@59Hz/1366 x 768/1920x1080@60Hz
Hard Drives
1863GBWesternn Digital WDC/Asus/119GB SanDisk SD8SN8U-128G-1006 (SSD)
931GB Hitachi HGST HTS721010A9E630 (SATA)
Keyboard
Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 (UK)/Inbuilt/Inbui
Mouse
Microsoft Optical Wheel Mouse/Same plus Touchpad/Same + Pad
Internet Speed
Infinity 2 up to 76 Mbps
Antivirus
MSE/MSE/MSE and all 3 have MalwareBytes Premium
Browser
Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox, Chrome
Other Info
Seagate Expansion 500GB External Desktop Drive
Seagate Expansion Portable Drives 500GB and 1TB
Epson XP-332 Wireless Printer

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP-G72
OS
Windows Home Premium 64 Bit
CPU
Intel i3
Memory
4GB
Monitor(s) Displays
LGE2750
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Keyboard
MS Comfort Curve 2000
Mouse
MS 3500

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP M9077c
OS
Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
CPU
Intel(R)Core(TM)2 quad [email protected] 2.39GHz
Motherboard
ASUSeK
Memory
6GB DDR2 6400
Graphics Card(s)
GeForce 8500/512MB
Sound Card
Realtek High Def Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
HP w2408 LCD 24" widescreen
Screen Resolution
1920x1200
Cooling
6 pack of Bud
Keyboard
MS wireless Inteli
Mouse
MS wireless Inteli
Dangerous new computer virus
Just got this in from a reliable source. It seems there is a virus called the "Senile Virus" that even the most advanced antivirus programs cannot remove ..... so be warned. The virus appears to affect those of us who were born before 1960!
Symptoms of the Senile Virus:

  1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
  2. Causes you to send blank e-mail.
  3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
  4. Causes you to send e-mail back to the person who sent it to you.
  5. Causes you to forget to attach attachments.
  6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP-G72
OS
Windows Home Premium 64 Bit
CPU
Intel i3
Memory
4GB
Monitor(s) Displays
LGE2750
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Keyboard
MS Comfort Curve 2000
Mouse
MS 3500
When you get senile you loose some of your faculties.
The first is memory but I don't remember the rest.

Jim :cry:
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Home Built
OS
Windows 8.1 Pro w/Media Center 64bit, Windows 7 HP 64bit
CPU
Phenom II X6 1100T
Motherboard
ASUS M5A99X EVO
Memory
Crucial Balistic 8gb DDR3-1866 CL9
Graphics Card(s)
MSI R6850 Cyclone IGD5 PE
Sound Card
On Board
Monitor(s) Displays
ASUS VE258Q 25" LED with DVI-HDMI-DisplayPort
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
Two WD Cavier Black 2TB Sata III, WD My Book Essential 2TB USB 3.0
PSU
Seasonic X650 80 Plus GOLD Modular
Case
Corsair 400R
Cooling
Antec Kuhler H2O 620, Two 120mm and four 140mm
Keyboard
Logitech K120
Mouse
Logitech Marble Mouse USB, Logitech Precision Game Pad
Internet Speed
15MB
Antivirus
Norton IS 2013, Malwarebytes Pro Beta 2
Browser
IE-11, FF-27
Other Info
APC UPS ES 750, Netgear WNR3500L Gigabit & Wireless N Router with SamKnows Test Program, Motorola SB6120 Gigabit Cable Modem. Brother HL-2170W Laser Printer, Epson V300 Scanner
Older gentleman to younger gentleman, "I have forgotten more than you have learned in your entire life time.......what were we discussing?"
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Hopalong/ Godzilla
OS
Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
CPU
Intel Core i7-870 Lynnfield 2.93GHz LGA 1156 95W Quad-Core
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D-E PRO
Memory
8GB@1400MHz Crucial Ballistix DDR3-1600 4x2GB
Graphics Card(s)
ASUS ENGTX460 DirectCU/2DI/1GD5 1GB 256-bit GDDR5
Sound Card
VIA Onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
Asus VS248H-P 24"; Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19"ws
Screen Resolution
1920x1080; 1440x900
Hard Drives
Samsung 830 120GB SSD
Intel 320 120GB SSD
Western Digital Caviar Black WD7501AALS 750GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
Western Digital Caviar Black WD6401AALS 640GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
PSU
COOLER MASTER Silent Pro RS850-AMBAJ3-US 850W Modular
Case
COOLER MASTER HAF 932 RC-932-KKN5-GP Black
Cooling
Scythe "Mugen-2 Rev.B" (2 ScytheKaze-Jyuni PWM fans)
Keyboard
Logitech K-320
Mouse
Kensington
Antivirus
Avast Inernet Suite
Browser
IE 9 ; Chrome
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