Jokes Thread 2

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My Computer

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PC/Desktop
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Self Built
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Win 10 Pro x64
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Intel I5-2500K @3.3GHz
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Asrock P67 Extreme4
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16GB G.Skill Ripjaws X (4x4GB)
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EVGA GeForce 750 Ti SC 2GB
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ASUS Xonar DG 5.1 Channels 24-bit 96KHz PCI Interface Sound
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auria eq2367
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1920 x 1080
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250GB Samsung 850 EVO SSD
1TB WD Blue
1TB Hitachi
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SeaSonic X 650W 80 Plus Gold
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Corsair Obsidian 750D
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Corsair H60, Three 140mm case fans
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Logitech Wireless Keyboard K520
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Logitech Wireless Mouse M310
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Wave Broadband ~ 100 dn 5 up
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Windows Defender, Malwarebytes Premium
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Edge, IE11, Chrome
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Laptop specs: HP g7-1365dx /
CPU: AMD A6-3420M APU with Radeon(tm) HD Graphics /
RAM: Crucial 8Gb (2x4Gb) /
SSD: Crucial M4-CT128M4SSD2 ATA Device/ FW 000F /
GFX: AMD Radeon HD 6520G /
OS: Windows 10 Pro x64

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
* BFK Customs *
OS
W 7 64-bit Ultimate
CPU
Intel Q9550 Yorkfield
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ASUS P5Q Pro
Memory
8GB Dominator 8500C5D
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ATI : XFX 5870
Sound Card
Realtek HD Audio 7-1
Monitor(s) Displays
1x 47" LCD HDMI & 3x 26" LCD HDMI
Screen Resolution
1920x1080P & 1920x1200
Hard Drives
1x 80GB Intel X25-M G2 SSD : 1x 500GB & 1x 640GB WD Caviar Black(s)
PSU
Corsair 620HX
Case
Cooler Master RC-690
Cooling
Tuniq Tower 120, 2x 140mm and 3x 120mm case fans
Keyboard
Microsoft 500
Mouse
Razer Diamondback 3G
Internet Speed
14 Mb/s
Other Info
1x Koutech 3Gb/s SATA HDD Hot Swap Rack
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, well, you can come with me to my house," instructed the lawyer.

"But, sir, I have a wife and two kids with me!"

"Bring them along!" said the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said, "You come with us, too."

"But, Sir, I have a wife and six kids!" he answered.

"Bring them, as well!" answered the lawyer, as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall!"

A Guy
 

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PC/Desktop
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Windows 10 Home x64
CPU
INTEL Core i5-750 Quad-Core 3.37GHz
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D
Memory
HyperX Fury Black Series 8GB (2 x 4GB) 1866Mhz
Graphics Card(s)
EVGA GeForce GTX 750 Superclocked 1GB 128-Bit GDDR5
Monitor(s) Displays
LG 32MA68HY 32" IPS
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
Samsung 840 Evo 120GB, SEAGATE 500GB Barracuda® 7200.12, SATA 3 Gb/s, 7200 RPM, 16MB cache
PSU
ANTEC TruePower New TP-550, 80 PLUS, 550W
Case
ANTEC Three Hundred Illusion
Cooling
COOLER MASTER Hyper 212 Plus, 4 x 120mm 1 x 140mm Noctua's
Internet Speed
85 + Mbps
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
Vivaldi

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Custom Built by me.
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
CPU
Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-X38-DS4
Memory
2X2GB DDR2 PC6400 800MHZ DUAL CHANNEL
Graphics Card(s)
XFX RADEON HD 6850 1GB GDDR5
Sound Card
2/4/5.1/7.1-channel Realtek High Definition
Monitor(s) Displays
Samsung LE40A656F1 1080p 100Hz LCD HD TV 50,000:1
Screen Resolution
1366x768 in Desktop,1920x1080p in gaming and video
Hard Drives
C:\WD VelociRaptor 150 GB,10,000 RPM
E:\WESTERN DIGITAL WD15EADS 1.5TB CAVIAR GREEN SATA2 F:\WESTERN DIGITAL WD15EADS 1.5TB CAVIAR GREEN SATA2
PSU
THERMALTAKE W0229 TOUGHPOWER XT 750W
Case
A-Case Twin Engine BB
Cooling
3 x thermaltake smart case fan II + 1 arctic cooling fan
Keyboard
Wireless Logitech LX710
Mouse
Logitech Wireless Gaming Mouse G700
Internet Speed
ADSL 12000 plus
Other Info
Mouse Logitech G700,with 13 buttons who needs keyboard in RPG?

D:\Sony high speed sata Dvd Rewriter
Logitech Cordless Rumblepad 2
THREE LITTLE BOYS were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them They decided it maybe was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school




So they went to the nearest church. But, only the janitor was there.


One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one
Will come out and play with us.
Will you baptize us?"

Sure," said the janitor.


He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads
In the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "You are now baptized!"


When they got outside, one of them asked,
"'What religion do you think we are?"

The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick,
Because they pour the water on you."


"We're not Babtis,
Because they dunk all of you in the water."

"We're not Methdiss,
Because they just sprinkle water on you."




The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?"

They all joined in asking, 'Yeah! What do you think that means?'






"I think it means we're Pisskopailians!"
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
OS
Windows 8 - 64-bit
CPU
2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
Memory
8GB DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
Screen Resolution
1280 X 1024
Hard Drives
1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
PSU
Intel B960 processor
Case
XXXXX
Cooling
XXXXX
Keyboard
Multi Gesture Touchpad
Mouse
USB - portable mouse... I added this
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
I E 10
Other Info
I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
Google Chuck Norris

In Google search write ''Find Chuck Norris''

Then click and read the first result. :D
 

Attachments

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My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Custom Built by me.
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 64bit SP1
CPU
Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-X38-DS4
Memory
2X2GB DDR2 PC6400 800MHZ DUAL CHANNEL
Graphics Card(s)
XFX RADEON HD 6850 1GB GDDR5
Sound Card
2/4/5.1/7.1-channel Realtek High Definition
Monitor(s) Displays
Samsung LE40A656F1 1080p 100Hz LCD HD TV 50,000:1
Screen Resolution
1366x768 in Desktop,1920x1080p in gaming and video
Hard Drives
C:\WD VelociRaptor 150 GB,10,000 RPM
E:\WESTERN DIGITAL WD15EADS 1.5TB CAVIAR GREEN SATA2 F:\WESTERN DIGITAL WD15EADS 1.5TB CAVIAR GREEN SATA2
PSU
THERMALTAKE W0229 TOUGHPOWER XT 750W
Case
A-Case Twin Engine BB
Cooling
3 x thermaltake smart case fan II + 1 arctic cooling fan
Keyboard
Wireless Logitech LX710
Mouse
Logitech Wireless Gaming Mouse G700
Internet Speed
ADSL 12000 plus
Other Info
Mouse Logitech G700,with 13 buttons who needs keyboard in RPG?

D:\Sony high speed sata Dvd Rewriter
Logitech Cordless Rumblepad 2
Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.

When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums.
Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said,

"I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage.
So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut..
I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem.
I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."

Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."






 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Put together
OS
Win7 Pro-64 Bit
CPU
i7-2600-3.4GHz
Motherboard
ASRock Z68M
Memory
8 GIG DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
onboard
Sound Card
onboard
Hard Drives
Seagate 1TB 7200RPM
PSU
680 W
Case
black
Cooling
stock fans
Keyboard
Microsoft
Mouse
Microsoft optical
This guy went on a cruise around the Hawaiian Islands and 2 days later the ships engine blew up spectacularly and caused the ship to sink. The guy managed to stuggle onto a door that was floating nearby and waited for rescue. Eventually, after 3 days of being adrift, he got washed up onto a beach and was found by a beautiful young Hawaiian girl. She said "Is there anything I can do for you?". The guy replied " I've been adrift 3 days and I am terribly thirsty, can you give me a drink of nice cool water?" The girl returns with a bottle of pure cool clear water which the man gulps down. "Is there anything else I can get you?" asks the girl smoothing her hands down over her shapely hips. The guy replies "Well, actually, I haven't eaten since the ship sank and I am kinda hungry". Ten minutes later the girl returns with a huge sizzling steak on a platter with all the trimmings. The guy thanks her profusely and sets about demolishing the steak. When he has finished, the girl asks "Is there anything else I can get you?" running her hands up and down her body in a most suggestive manner. The guy sits there thinking so the girl asks "Don't you want to play around?"
.
.
The guy replies "Don't tell me you play golf"
 

My Computer

OS
win7
In a tiny Irish village lived a little old lady who was a virgin and proud of it.

Sensing that her last days were fast approaching, she went to see her local undertaker, who also happened to be the village postman too.

One of her last wishes was that she had the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:

"Born A Virgin, Lived As A Virgin, Died A Virgin"​

She passed away soon afterwards and the undertaker/postman thought long and hard how he could engrave her inscription on her tombstone's limited space.

Finally, after much deliberation, he discarded his undertaker's hat and put on his postman's one as he came up with this inspired inscription:

"RETURNED UNOPENED"​
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP Pavilion Elite 495UK
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate SP1 64-Bit
CPU
Intel Core i7 870 @ 2.93GHz
Motherboard
MSI 2A9C (CPU1)
Memory
8Gb Dual-Channel DDR3 @ 664MHz
Graphics Card(s)
nVidia GeForce GTX 460 1024MB dedicated RAM
Sound Card
Realtek HD Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
HP2310i
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
1x1954GB Hitachi HDS22020ALA 330 (RAID), 1x1954GB Hitachi External for backup and storage
PSU
460W
Case
HP Elite
Cooling
Air cooled
Keyboard
Logitech K750 solar-powered keyboard
Mouse
Logitech Wireless M180 mouse
Internet Speed
2Mb
Other Info
Pure Avanti Flow Internet Radio with iPod Dock, 64Gb iPod, HP USB Speakers, Sony MDR-V500 Headphones, Sony Vaio F-Series Laptop
Did you hear about the flasher who thought about retiring?

He decided to stick it out for another year......
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Dell Hell oh Well
OS
Win 7 32 Home Premium, Win 7 64 Pro, Win 8.1, Win 10
CPU
Intel Core 2 Duo 2.93GHz
Memory
Not much with my ADHD
Graphics Card(s)
ATI Radeon HD 4350
Monitor(s) Displays
24" HDTV/Monitor
Screen Resolution
Blurry after a Scotch or 2
Hard Drives
1 HDD 250 GB, 1 HDD 1 TB, 3 - 1 TB Externals
Case
Don't get on my case...man :D
Cooling
I have an Air Conditioner & Diet Pepsi
Keyboard
Saitek Cyborg
Mouse
10 yr old MS optical mouse that still works
Internet Speed
Never fast enough
Antivirus
Various
Browser
Various
Can I just include one massive groan to cover the last page of jokes? :roflmao:
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Self
OS
Main - Windows 7 Pro SP1 64-Bit; 2nd - Windows Server 2008 R2
CPU
Main - Core i7 2600K; 2nd - Core i7 920
Motherboard
Main - Asus P8Z68-V Pro/Gen3; 2nd - Gigabyte GA-EX58-UDR3
Memory
Main - 16GB Corsair Vengeance; 2nd - 12GB Corsair Vengeance
Graphics Card(s)
Main - XFX Radeon 6870 1GB; 2nd - XFX Radeon 4870 1GB
Sound Card
Both: Onboard Realtek Azalia
Monitor(s) Displays
Main - Hann 25" + I-INC 25" + Acer 23"; 2nd - Upgrading Soon
Screen Resolution
Main - 1920x1080 (All Three Monitors); 2nd - Upgrading Soon
Hard Drives
Main - (1) Crucial M4 128GB (Boot)
Main - (1) Seagate 2TB 64MB Cache (Data)
Main - (1) Seagate 2TB 64MB Cache (Data Backup)
2nd - (1) Intel X25-M SSD 80GB (Boot)
2nd - (3) Seagate 1TB 32MB Cache (Data Backup)
2nd - (1) Seagate 320GB (Because)
PSU
Main - OCZ 600W Modular; 2nd - OCZ 600W
Case
Main - Thermaltake Element G; 2nd - NZXT something or other
Cooling
Main - Corsair H80; 2nd - Prolimatech Megahalems
Keyboard
Main - Razer Reclusa; 2nd - Old MS Keyboard
Mouse
Main - Logitech MX Revolution; 2nd - Old MS Mouse
Internet Speed
20Mbps Time-Warner Cable
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Dwarf Dwf/11/2012 r09/2013
OS
Windows 8.1 Pro RTM x64
CPU
Intel Core-i5-3570K 4-core @ 3.4GHz (Ivy Bridge) (OC 4.4GHz)
Motherboard
ASRock Z77 Extreme4-M
Memory
4 x 4GB DDR3-1600 Corsair Vengeance CMZ8GX3M2A1600C9B (16GB)
Graphics Card(s)
MSI GeForce GTX770 Gaming OC 2GB
Sound Card
Realtek High Definition on board solution (ALC 898)
Monitor(s) Displays
ViewSonic VA1912w Widescreen (VGA)
Screen Resolution
1440x900
Hard Drives
OCZ Agility 3 SSD 120GB SATA III x2 (RAID 0)
Samsung HD501LJ 500GB SATA II x2
Hitachi HDS721010CLA332 1TB SATA II
Iomega 1.5TB Ext USB 2.0
WD 2.0TB Ext USB 3.0
PSU
XFX Pro Series 850W Semi-Modular
Case
Gigabyte IF233
Cooling
1 x 120mm Front Inlet 1 x 120mm Rear Exhaust
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 3000 (USB)
Mouse
Microsoft Comfort Mouse 3000 for Business (USB)
Internet Speed
NetGear DG834Gv3 ADSL Modem/Router (Ethernet) ~4.0 Mb/s (O2)
Antivirus
Avast! 8.0.1497
Browser
IE 11
Other Info
Optical Drive: HL-DT-ST BD-RE BH10LS30 SATA Bluray
Lexmark S305 Printer/Scanner/Copier (USB)
WEI Score: 8.1/8.1/8.5/8.5/8.25
Asus Eee PC 1011PX Netbook (Windows 7 x86 Starter)
A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."
A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."
Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich". She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
self build
OS
win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
CPU
amd phenom x4 9600
Motherboard
asus m2n32-sli deluxe
Memory
corsair twinxs 2x2gb
Graphics Card(s)
2x nvidia 1gb 8500gt
Sound Card
onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
23" PB Viseo 233d
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
maxtor sata 500gb
maxtor sata 320gb
fujitsu sata200gb
PSU
oryxx tornado 750w
Case
thermaltake xaser lll
Cooling
artic freezer64 pro + 7 case fans
An elderly couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together.
After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man "You appear to be in good health, do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
"In fact I do," said the man, "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then,after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."
"This is very interesting," replied the doctor, "Let me do some research and get back to you."
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions nor concerns.
The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?" "Oh that old coot!" She replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July, and the second time is usually in December!"
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
self build
OS
win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
CPU
amd phenom x4 9600
Motherboard
asus m2n32-sli deluxe
Memory
corsair twinxs 2x2gb
Graphics Card(s)
2x nvidia 1gb 8500gt
Sound Card
onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
23" PB Viseo 233d
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
maxtor sata 500gb
maxtor sata 320gb
fujitsu sata200gb
PSU
oryxx tornado 750w
Case
thermaltake xaser lll
Cooling
artic freezer64 pro + 7 case fans
A women was pregnant with triplets.
One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.
She goes to the doctor who tells her her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out.
So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.
The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHOOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"
On the third day the son comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" she goes "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" he replies "No, I was j***ing off and I shot the dog!"
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
self build
OS
win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
CPU
amd phenom x4 9600
Motherboard
asus m2n32-sli deluxe
Memory
corsair twinxs 2x2gb
Graphics Card(s)
2x nvidia 1gb 8500gt
Sound Card
onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
23" PB Viseo 233d
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
maxtor sata 500gb
maxtor sata 320gb
fujitsu sata200gb
PSU
oryxx tornado 750w
Case
thermaltake xaser lll
Cooling
artic freezer64 pro + 7 case fans
A Girls First Time

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty!
Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
self build
OS
win 7 ultimate32bit, Win8.1pro wmc 32bit
CPU
amd phenom x4 9600
Motherboard
asus m2n32-sli deluxe
Memory
corsair twinxs 2x2gb
Graphics Card(s)
2x nvidia 1gb 8500gt
Sound Card
onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
23" PB Viseo 233d
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
maxtor sata 500gb
maxtor sata 320gb
fujitsu sata200gb
PSU
oryxx tornado 750w
Case
thermaltake xaser lll
Cooling
artic freezer64 pro + 7 case fans
This will top Pebbly's jokes.................


Harlequin novel, version 2011


He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and
guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we
were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a
low, reassuring voice, close to my ear.

"Just relax."

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong,
calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward
along my calves. Slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat.

I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His
touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my
thighs, I gave a slight shudder and partly closed my eyes. My pulse
was pounding.

I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage and
then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled
sharply.

Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his
hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my
panties.

Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting
and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge.

A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would tell me
what he Wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say . .. . ..

"Okay ma'am, you can board your flight now."
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP M9077c
OS
Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
CPU
Intel(R)Core(TM)2 quad [email protected] 2.39GHz
Motherboard
ASUSeK
Memory
6GB DDR2 6400
Graphics Card(s)
GeForce 8500/512MB
Sound Card
Realtek High Def Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
HP w2408 LCD 24" widescreen
Screen Resolution
1920x1200
Cooling
6 pack of Bud
Keyboard
MS wireless Inteli
Mouse
MS wireless Inteli
Little humor to break up the day.


· Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

· Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

· Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc . .. . I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...... Folks, we're screwed!

Dennis I know I'm the Naughty Girl today..View attachment 168888
 
Last edited:

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gateway 17.3" LCD Intel Dual-Core, 8GB RAM 1TB HDD Windows 8 Laptop
OS
Windows 8 - 64-bit
CPU
2.2GHz Intel Pentium dual-core B960 processor with 2MB L3 ca
Memory
8GB DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
Intel HD Graphics with 128MB of dedicated system memory
Monitor(s) Displays
17.3" Ultrabright HD widescreen LED-backlit LCD
Screen Resolution
1280 X 1024
Hard Drives
1TB hard drive-1000 GB HDD
DVD-Super Multi DL drive
PSU
Intel B960 processor
Case
XXXXX
Cooling
XXXXX
Keyboard
Multi Gesture Touchpad
Mouse
USB - portable mouse... I added this
Antivirus
Avast
Browser
I E 10
Other Info
I see nothing about Motherboard info.
I'm not sure about Sound Card
Ports :(3) USB 2.0, (1) HDMI, (1) VGA, (1) Headphone out, (1) Microphone in, (1) Ethernet LAN

•Fast Wi-Fi wireless and wired Gigabit Ethernet networking
•HDMI output
•Kensington lock slot
I have no idea what all this actually means
Little humor to break up the day.




I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc . .. . I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...... Folks, we're screwed!

:roflmao::roflmao:
 

My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Self Built
OS
Win 10 Pro x64
CPU
Intel I5-2500K @3.3GHz
Motherboard
Asrock P67 Extreme4
Memory
16GB G.Skill Ripjaws X (4x4GB)
Graphics Card(s)
EVGA GeForce 750 Ti SC 2GB
Sound Card
ASUS Xonar DG 5.1 Channels 24-bit 96KHz PCI Interface Sound
Monitor(s) Displays
auria eq2367
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
250GB Samsung 850 EVO SSD
1TB WD Blue
1TB Hitachi
PSU
SeaSonic X 650W 80 Plus Gold
Case
Corsair Obsidian 750D
Cooling
Corsair H60, Three 140mm case fans
Keyboard
Logitech Wireless Keyboard K520
Mouse
Logitech Wireless Mouse M310
Internet Speed
Wave Broadband ~ 100 dn 5 up
Antivirus
Windows Defender, Malwarebytes Premium
Browser
Edge, IE11, Chrome
Other Info
Laptop specs: HP g7-1365dx /
CPU: AMD A6-3420M APU with Radeon(tm) HD Graphics /
RAM: Crucial 8Gb (2x4Gb) /
SSD: Crucial M4-CT128M4SSD2 ATA Device/ FW 000F /
GFX: AMD Radeon HD 6520G /
OS: Windows 10 Pro x64
Dennis is over 5000 years old. WOW! :doh:

I thought he was just 3000+ years. :roflmao:
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Hopalong/ Godzilla
OS
Windows7 Pro 64bit SP-1; Windows XP Pro 32bit
CPU
Intel Core i7-870 Lynnfield 2.93GHz LGA 1156 95W Quad-Core
Motherboard
ASUS P7P55D-E PRO
Memory
8GB@1400MHz Crucial Ballistix DDR3-1600 4x2GB
Graphics Card(s)
ASUS ENGTX460 DirectCU/2DI/1GD5 1GB 256-bit GDDR5
Sound Card
VIA Onboard
Monitor(s) Displays
Asus VS248H-P 24"; Samsung SyncMaster 941BW 19"ws
Screen Resolution
1920x1080; 1440x900
Hard Drives
Samsung 830 120GB SSD
Intel 320 120GB SSD
Western Digital Caviar Black WD7501AALS 750GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
Western Digital Caviar Black WD6401AALS 640GB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s
PSU
COOLER MASTER Silent Pro RS850-AMBAJ3-US 850W Modular
Case
COOLER MASTER HAF 932 RC-932-KKN5-GP Black
Cooling
Scythe "Mugen-2 Rev.B" (2 ScytheKaze-Jyuni PWM fans)
Keyboard
Logitech K-320
Mouse
Kensington
Antivirus
Avast Inernet Suite
Browser
IE 9 ; Chrome
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