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What do you call 7 blonds under a semi-trailer.... air ride.. ;)
 

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What do you call 7 blonds under a semi-trailer.... air ride.. ;)

What do you call a man who laughs now?

Kari
 

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Two rednecks are in a boat fishing one day and one redneck gets a bite. He pulls up a lamp and rubs the mud off of it. A genie appears and says "I will grant you each a wish for releasing me from my slumber."

So the first redneck thinks long and hard and finally makes his wish "I wish for a roast beef sandwich" and poof a roast beef sandwich appears before the redneck. The second one says " What a waste you could have wished for anything you wanted." "I was hungry" replies the first redneck.

So the second redneck thinks longer and harder wanting to not waste his wish. He finally speaks up and makes his wish. "I wish....The lake was made of beer!"

The first redneck looks at him and says "You idiot! Now we gotta piss in the boat"
 

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One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess."
 
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess."

Another good one harry! :roflmao:
 

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I wish we have a funny pictures thread too :(

tumblr_l0bcxokdFM1qbnyl6o1_500.jpg


tumblr_l0d0zs7rjU1qzxzwwo1_500.jpg


Philippines:
25517_429119175992_305998315992_5598592_8126482_n.jpg
 

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Nice jokes. Nice pics, too :D
 

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Baptising an Irishman




A Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river.


He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher... The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,

'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

The drunk shouts, 'Yes, OI am.'


So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'

The drunk replies, 'No, OI haven't found Jesus.'

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus me brother?'

The drunk again answers, 'No, OI I haven't found Jesus.'

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again --- But this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?'





(Are you ready for this????)







The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,


'Are you sure this is where he fell in?'
 
Last edited by a moderator:
HAHA, nice one harry
 

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Honestly, the joke above might be a good one but I don't know because using giant fonts makes it so annoying to my eye and stupi to look at I just scrolled to the end to write this protest.

Very sincere question: what are you trying to achieve using the biggest possible font size? Is the joke better when yelled? What makes it even more stupid is when people quote it, only to add roflmao to the end of it (if it is a good joke?).

it might have been copy pasted. and came through as that font. but I don't know so I can only assume....
 

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Exact change

[FONT=&quot]An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment..

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says,'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man. The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'

The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'
[/FONT]
 

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Four other home built computers plus a Mac Mini, but this is my main Win7 testbed.
Harry, you can select the whole post and change the font size very easily.....might be appreciated if you did.;)
 

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Okay, here's a distasteful joke. So all you ladies stop right here.


Q. What do you call an anerexic with a yeast infection?

A. A quarter pounder with cheese. :o
 

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Okay, here's a distasteful joke. So all you ladies stop right here.


Q. What do you call an anerexic with a yeast infection?

A. A quarter pounder with cheese. :o

haha, wow, thats a gross one
 

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[FONT=&quot]An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment..

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says,'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man. The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'

The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'
[/FONT]


lol good one tho that is a good idea for a wish...the first one that is
 

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custom build
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Nothing beyond what etch part came with
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Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
 

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Cooler Master 1000w
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Cooler Master Cosmos 1000.
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A man walked into the Doctor's office with a duck sitting on top of his head.

The Doctor looked up and said "Can I help you?".

The duck said "Yeah, can you get this guy off my ass?".
 

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My horse taste like raisins

Yahoo! Answers is always full of interesting, sometimes ridiculous questions that are just begging to get laughed at. This morning I came across one that did just that, some guy wondering why his horse tastes like raisins. Our advice, never lick a gift horse in the mouth.


:roflmao:
 

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D3f's Customs
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Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Patton said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Kathleen said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Self Build 64bit
OS
Vista Ult64, Win7600
CPU
Intel Core 2 Quad Q6600 @ 2400 MHz 64bit OS
Motherboard
Asus P5E3 Deluxe WiFi @p 64 bit OS
Memory
4096 MB DDR3-SDRAM
Graphics Card(s)
ATI Radeon HD 3870 Series x2 Crossfired
Sound Card
Realtek on board
Monitor(s) Displays
Samsung SyncMaster - 23 inches
Screen Resolution
1680x1050 pixels at 60 Hz in True Colors
Hard Drives
Hitachi (250 GB)/Samsung 750 GB. /Barracuda 160 GB.
My Book 1 TB external..
PSU
Cooler Master 1000w
Case
Cooler Master Cosmos 1000.
Cooling
Fans and fresh air,
Keyboard
Wireless
Mouse
Wireless
Internet Speed
Never fast enough
Other Info
I use a Magnum.
haha, nice jfar
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Myself
OS
Windows 7 Professional 64bit
CPU
AMD Athlon II X2 240 Regor 2.8GHz
Motherboard
GIGABYTE GA-MA785GMT-UD2H
Memory
4 gigs DDR3 Dual Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Radeon HD 5770 1gig video RAM
Sound Card
Realtek ALC889A
Monitor(s) Displays
Dell E770s 17in
Screen Resolution
1024x768
Hard Drives
1 x 250gb seagate
PSU
Rosewill RP600V2-S-SL 600W
Case
Antec Nine Hundred Black Steel ATX Mid Tower
Cooling
4 Fans
Keyboard
Micro Inovations
Mouse
Microsoft optical mouse
Internet Speed
22 mbps download 1 mbps upload
Status
Not open for further replies.
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