Jokes Thread

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Hmmm it was for the husband there was no cat ;)


Steve

Steve,
I would like to continue with another scenario but I would get banned!:devil2::roflmao::roflmao:
 

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HP M9077c
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Intel(R)Core(TM)2 quad [email protected] 2.39GHz
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ASUSeK
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6GB DDR2 6400
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GeForce 8500/512MB
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Realtek High Def Audio
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HP w2408 LCD 24" widescreen
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6 pack of Bud
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MS wireless Inteli
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MS wireless Inteli

My Computer

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PC/Desktop
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Windows 10 Home x64
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INTEL Core i5-750 Quad-Core 3.37GHz
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ASUS P7P55D
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HyperX Fury Black Series 8GB (2 x 4GB) 1866Mhz
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EVGA GeForce GTX 750 Superclocked 1GB 128-Bit GDDR5
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LG 32MA68HY 32" IPS
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Samsung 840 Evo 120GB, SEAGATE 500GB Barracuda® 7200.12, SATA 3 Gb/s, 7200 RPM, 16MB cache
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ANTEC TruePower New TP-550, 80 PLUS, 550W
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ANTEC Three Hundred Illusion
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COOLER MASTER Hyper 212 Plus, 4 x 120mm 1 x 140mm Noctua's
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85 + Mbps
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Avast
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Vivaldi
Not really a Joke but funny anyway

Frustrated by the routine release of women convicted of misdemeanor prostitution, one judge in San Francisco set a hooker's bail at $5 billion.

In 1981 Deuel Wilhelm Davies of Tuscaloosa, Alabama, was sentenced to 10,000 years in prison for a triple murder, one of his victims being his mother-in-law.

A man in Winthrop, Maine, divorced his wife because she "wore earplugs whenever his mother came to visit."

In 1995 Leon Taylor, convicted of murdering a man during a 1994 robbery in Kansas City, Missouri, was sentenced to death, PLUS life in prison, with an additional 315 years tacked on for good measure.
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Over Clockers Ultima Viper 2.80Ghz
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Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
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Intel Core i7 930 2.80Ghz Bloomfield Socket LGA 1366
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Gigabyte GA-X58A-UD3R Intel X58 Socket 1366 DDR3
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Patriot Viper 6GB 3x2GB DDR3 PC3-1200C9 1600Mhz Tri Channel
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Asus ATI Radeon HD 5770 CuCore 1024MB GDDR5 PCI Express
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Realtek ALC889 @ Intel 82801JB ICH10 - High Definition Audio
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Samsung SyncMaster 920N 19"
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1280*1024
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1 x OCZ Vertex2 Series 120GB 2.5" SATA-II SSD
1 x Seagate Barracuda 7200.12 1TB SATA-II 32MB Cache
1 x Western Digital Caviar Green 2TB SATA-II 64 MB Cache
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Corsair TX 650W ATX SLi
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Antec 902 Ultimate Gaming Case Black
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Prolimatech Megahalems Rev B CPU Cooler Socket 775/1156/1366
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Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard
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Microsoft Optical USB
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ADSL24 FTTC 34.2 Mbps Down 7.1Mbps Up
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OcUK 22x DVDSATA ReWriter Black
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Printer Epson Stylus Photo R300
Scanner Canon Canoscan 8000F
A guy walks into his doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"

The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."

The doc examines him and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure that I know what the problem is."

The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"

The doc says,"It's your penis. It's about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords."

The guy asks, "Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?"

The doc replies, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering."

The guy says, "Dddo it!"

The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor's office and says, "Thanks Doc. You've solved my problem and I don't stutter any more but I've only had sex once in the past month. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more. I cannot satisfy her. She liked my long penis. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back one!"

The doc replies, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!"
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Over Clockers Ultima Viper 2.80Ghz
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Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
CPU
Intel Core i7 930 2.80Ghz Bloomfield Socket LGA 1366
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-X58A-UD3R Intel X58 Socket 1366 DDR3
Memory
Patriot Viper 6GB 3x2GB DDR3 PC3-1200C9 1600Mhz Tri Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Asus ATI Radeon HD 5770 CuCore 1024MB GDDR5 PCI Express
Sound Card
Realtek ALC889 @ Intel 82801JB ICH10 - High Definition Audio
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Samsung SyncMaster 920N 19"
Screen Resolution
1280*1024
Hard Drives
1 x OCZ Vertex2 Series 120GB 2.5" SATA-II SSD
1 x Seagate Barracuda 7200.12 1TB SATA-II 32MB Cache
1 x Western Digital Caviar Green 2TB SATA-II 64 MB Cache
PSU
Corsair TX 650W ATX SLi
Case
Antec 902 Ultimate Gaming Case Black
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Prolimatech Megahalems Rev B CPU Cooler Socket 775/1156/1366
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Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard
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Microsoft Optical USB
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ADSL24 FTTC 34.2 Mbps Down 7.1Mbps Up
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OcUK 22x DVDSATA ReWriter Black
Akasa AK-FN058 Apache Black Super Silent 120mm Fan
Printer Epson Stylus Photo R300
Scanner Canon Canoscan 8000F
There should be a "Joke Guru" badge for you , Steve . You are awesome :roflmao::thumbsup:
 

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PC/Desktop
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Self Assembled
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Microsoft Windows 10 Pro Insider Preview 64-bit
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Intel(R) Core(TM) i3-4130 CPU @ 3.40GHz
Motherboard
Gigabyte Technology Co., Ltd. B85M-D3H
Memory
Corsair Vengence 4GB x2 (8.00GB Dual-Channel DDR3 @ 798MHz)
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2047MB GeForce GTS 450 (ZOTAC International)
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Onboard (Realtek High Definition Audio)
Monitor(s) Displays
LG Flatron E2040T
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1600x900
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Western Digital 1 TB
Seagate 500 GB
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Corsair VS550
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Cooler Master K380
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Cooler Master Seidon 120V Plus
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Logitech MK260r
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Logitech MK260r
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PMPL Broadband
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Windows Defender + MBAM
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Firefox
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Dell Studio 15" Laptop
HA HA Thanks Arc I do my best :)
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Over Clockers Ultima Viper 2.80Ghz
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
CPU
Intel Core i7 930 2.80Ghz Bloomfield Socket LGA 1366
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-X58A-UD3R Intel X58 Socket 1366 DDR3
Memory
Patriot Viper 6GB 3x2GB DDR3 PC3-1200C9 1600Mhz Tri Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Asus ATI Radeon HD 5770 CuCore 1024MB GDDR5 PCI Express
Sound Card
Realtek ALC889 @ Intel 82801JB ICH10 - High Definition Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
Samsung SyncMaster 920N 19"
Screen Resolution
1280*1024
Hard Drives
1 x OCZ Vertex2 Series 120GB 2.5" SATA-II SSD
1 x Seagate Barracuda 7200.12 1TB SATA-II 32MB Cache
1 x Western Digital Caviar Green 2TB SATA-II 64 MB Cache
PSU
Corsair TX 650W ATX SLi
Case
Antec 902 Ultimate Gaming Case Black
Cooling
Prolimatech Megahalems Rev B CPU Cooler Socket 775/1156/1366
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard
Mouse
Microsoft Optical USB
Internet Speed
ADSL24 FTTC 34.2 Mbps Down 7.1Mbps Up
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OcUK 22x DVDSATA ReWriter Black
Akasa AK-FN058 Apache Black Super Silent 120mm Fan
Printer Epson Stylus Photo R300
Scanner Canon Canoscan 8000F

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP M9077c
OS
Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
CPU
Intel(R)Core(TM)2 quad [email protected] 2.39GHz
Motherboard
ASUSeK
Memory
6GB DDR2 6400
Graphics Card(s)
GeForce 8500/512MB
Sound Card
Realtek High Def Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
HP w2408 LCD 24" widescreen
Screen Resolution
1920x1200
Cooling
6 pack of Bud
Keyboard
MS wireless Inteli
Mouse
MS wireless Inteli
So apparently not everyone is seeing the same thing from that link, so instead, I am going to post a snip of the image that came up.
 

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Last edited:

My Computer

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Gigabyte Technology Co., Ltd.
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Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
CPU
Intel Core 2 Duo E8400
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Gigabyte GA-EP35-DS3R
Memory
2x 2GB OCZ DDR II SDRAM PC2-6400
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NVIDIA GeForce 9400GT
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HP 2009m(primary), Acer P191W
Screen Resolution
1600x900, 1440x900
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Internal:WD Caviar Black 640GB 32MB cache 7200RPM
External:Samsung Story Station 1TB HDD desktop drive
500GB Toshiba portable drive
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Antec Earthwatts EA500D
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Antec Sonata III
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4 fans
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Logitech Wave
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Logitech M-SBF90
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Slow due to home Wireless-G router
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MSE, Hitman Pro, Malwarebytes
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Chrome and Palemoon
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Windows® 7 Home Premium,500GB Hard Drive,4GB DDR3 RAM, Intel® HD Graphics,8X DVD-Super Multi Double-Layer Drive
Multi-in-1 Digital Media Card Reader,802.11b/g/n Wi-Fi
Chrome and Palemoon, MSE, Hitman Pro

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP M9077c
OS
Windows 7 Home Premium 64bit
CPU
Intel(R)Core(TM)2 quad [email protected] 2.39GHz
Motherboard
ASUSeK
Memory
6GB DDR2 6400
Graphics Card(s)
GeForce 8500/512MB
Sound Card
Realtek High Def Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
HP w2408 LCD 24" widescreen
Screen Resolution
1920x1200
Cooling
6 pack of Bud
Keyboard
MS wireless Inteli
Mouse
MS wireless Inteli
Found this today.

24310_318251058716_243843828716_3612432_3143150_n.jpg
 

My Computer

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PC/Desktop
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Acer Aspire XC-704 x64 bit/ Asus K55A Notebook PC/HP Envy x360 Convertible 15-bq0xx
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Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit/Windows 10 64bit
CPU
Intel Pentium J3710 @ 60GHz/Intel B820,1.7GHz/AMD A9 Radeon
Motherboard
Acer Aspire XC-704 (SOCKET 0)/Asus/HP 8312 (Socket FP4)
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8.00GB DDR3 @ 1599MHz/8GB 2 x 4GB DDR3/8.00GB Dual-Channel
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Intel HD Graphics/Intel/512MB ATI AMD Radeon R5 Graphics (HP
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Realtek High Definition Audio/Onboard/AMD High Definition Au
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Acer LCD K222HQL /Asus 15.6/Generic PnP Monitor (1920x1080@6
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1920x1080@59Hz/1366 x 768/1920x1080@60Hz
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1863GBWesternn Digital WDC/Asus/119GB SanDisk SD8SN8U-128G-1006 (SSD)
931GB Hitachi HGST HTS721010A9E630 (SATA)
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Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 (UK)/Inbuilt/Inbui
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Microsoft Optical Wheel Mouse/Same plus Touchpad/Same + Pad
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Infinity 2 up to 76 Mbps
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MSE/MSE/MSE and all 3 have MalwareBytes Premium
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Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox/Edge, Firefox, Chrome
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Seagate Expansion 500GB External Desktop Drive
Seagate Expansion Portable Drives 500GB and 1TB
Epson XP-332 Wireless Printer

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Over Clockers Ultima Viper 2.80Ghz
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
CPU
Intel Core i7 930 2.80Ghz Bloomfield Socket LGA 1366
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-X58A-UD3R Intel X58 Socket 1366 DDR3
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Patriot Viper 6GB 3x2GB DDR3 PC3-1200C9 1600Mhz Tri Channel
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Asus ATI Radeon HD 5770 CuCore 1024MB GDDR5 PCI Express
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Realtek ALC889 @ Intel 82801JB ICH10 - High Definition Audio
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Samsung SyncMaster 920N 19"
Screen Resolution
1280*1024
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1 x OCZ Vertex2 Series 120GB 2.5" SATA-II SSD
1 x Seagate Barracuda 7200.12 1TB SATA-II 32MB Cache
1 x Western Digital Caviar Green 2TB SATA-II 64 MB Cache
PSU
Corsair TX 650W ATX SLi
Case
Antec 902 Ultimate Gaming Case Black
Cooling
Prolimatech Megahalems Rev B CPU Cooler Socket 775/1156/1366
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard
Mouse
Microsoft Optical USB
Internet Speed
ADSL24 FTTC 34.2 Mbps Down 7.1Mbps Up
Other Info
OcUK 22x DVDSATA ReWriter Black
Akasa AK-FN058 Apache Black Super Silent 120mm Fan
Printer Epson Stylus Photo R300
Scanner Canon Canoscan 8000F
So apparently not everyone is seeing the same thing from that link, so instead, I am going to post a snip of the image that came up.

87217d1279997858-jokes-thread-capture.jpg

That explains why I've gained some weight...
 
Last edited:

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
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HP ENVY 17-1150eg
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Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
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1.6 GHz Intel Core i7-720QM Processor
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6 GB
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ATI Mobility Radeon HD 5850 Graphics
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Beats sound system with integrated subwoofer
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17" laptop display, 22" LED and 32" Full HD TV through HDMI
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1600*900 (1), 1920*1080 (2&3)
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Internal: 2 x 500 GB SATA Hard Disk Drive 7200 rpm
External: 2TB for backups, 3TB USB3 network drive for media
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As Envy runs a bit warm, I have it on a Cooler Master pad
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Logitech diNovo Media Desktop Laser (bluetooth)
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Logitech Performance Mouse MX
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50/10 Mbps VDSL
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Windows Defender 4.3.9431.0
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Maxthon 3.5.2., IE11
Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.


2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.


3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.


4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.


5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!


6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.


7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.


8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.


9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.


10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.


11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.


12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.


2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.


3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.


4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.


5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
 

My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
ASUS G60-RBBX05
OS
Win7 Home Premium 64x
CPU
Intel Core 2 Duo P7450 / 2.13 GHz (2.29 with Extreme Turbo)
Memory
4 GB PC-6400 Hyundai (2X2) at 800Mhz
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce GTX 260M 1GB DDR3 VRAM
Monitor(s) Displays
16" LED Backlit
Screen Resolution
1366 x 768 on laptop 1600x1050 max res on 22" external mon
Hard Drives
OCZ Agility 3 60GB SSD / 320 GB - Serial ATA-150 - 7200 rpm
PSU
6-cell Lithium ion { lasts 1.5 hours }
Case
ASUS G60 Laptop
Keyboard
Chicklet type back-lit (white light) keyboard
Mouse
Logitech G9 Laser Mouse 3200dpi and 1000 reports per minute
Internet Speed
Comcast 8.60mb/s up - 3.11mb/s down
Antivirus
MSE
Browser
Firefox
Other Info
General mid-budget gaming Comp. Low batterylife - High FrameRates - currently overheating problems :(

2nd Rig: Case: Rosewill BLACKHAWK Gaming ATX Mid Tower Computer Case

Mobo: GIGABYTE GA-990FXA-UD3
CPU: AMD FX-6200 Zambezi 3.8GHz (4.1GHz Turbo)
Heatsink: COOLER MASTER V8 CPU Cooler
RAM: Patriot Viper 3 8GB (2 x 4GB) 240-Pin DDR3 SDRAM 1866 (PC3 15000)
GPU: SAPPHIRE Radeon HD 6850 1GB 2
Hello Thorsen.



That sounds like some of the horse hooey the tree huggers would come up with. :roflmao:
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
* BFK Customs *
OS
W 7 64-bit Ultimate
CPU
Intel Q9550 Yorkfield
Motherboard
ASUS P5Q Pro
Memory
8GB Dominator 8500C5D
Graphics Card(s)
ATI : XFX 5870
Sound Card
Realtek HD Audio 7-1
Monitor(s) Displays
1x 47" LCD HDMI & 3x 26" LCD HDMI
Screen Resolution
1920x1080P & 1920x1200
Hard Drives
1x 80GB Intel X25-M G2 SSD : 1x 500GB & 1x 640GB WD Caviar Black(s)
PSU
Corsair 620HX
Case
Cooler Master RC-690
Cooling
Tuniq Tower 120, 2x 140mm and 3x 120mm case fans
Keyboard
Microsoft 500
Mouse
Razer Diamondback 3G
Internet Speed
14 Mb/s
Other Info
1x Koutech 3Gb/s SATA HDD Hot Swap Rack
A Prayer for daddy

"Dear God, this year please send some clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer,
Amen."
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Over Clockers Ultima Viper 2.80Ghz
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
CPU
Intel Core i7 930 2.80Ghz Bloomfield Socket LGA 1366
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-X58A-UD3R Intel X58 Socket 1366 DDR3
Memory
Patriot Viper 6GB 3x2GB DDR3 PC3-1200C9 1600Mhz Tri Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Asus ATI Radeon HD 5770 CuCore 1024MB GDDR5 PCI Express
Sound Card
Realtek ALC889 @ Intel 82801JB ICH10 - High Definition Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
Samsung SyncMaster 920N 19"
Screen Resolution
1280*1024
Hard Drives
1 x OCZ Vertex2 Series 120GB 2.5" SATA-II SSD
1 x Seagate Barracuda 7200.12 1TB SATA-II 32MB Cache
1 x Western Digital Caviar Green 2TB SATA-II 64 MB Cache
PSU
Corsair TX 650W ATX SLi
Case
Antec 902 Ultimate Gaming Case Black
Cooling
Prolimatech Megahalems Rev B CPU Cooler Socket 775/1156/1366
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard
Mouse
Microsoft Optical USB
Internet Speed
ADSL24 FTTC 34.2 Mbps Down 7.1Mbps Up
Other Info
OcUK 22x DVDSATA ReWriter Black
Akasa AK-FN058 Apache Black Super Silent 120mm Fan
Printer Epson Stylus Photo R300
Scanner Canon Canoscan 8000F
The Hotel Bill

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this...

Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.00. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00!

When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.

"But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $50.00."

"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and you could have."
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Over Clockers Ultima Viper 2.80Ghz
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 64 - OEM Service Pack 1
CPU
Intel Core i7 930 2.80Ghz Bloomfield Socket LGA 1366
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-X58A-UD3R Intel X58 Socket 1366 DDR3
Memory
Patriot Viper 6GB 3x2GB DDR3 PC3-1200C9 1600Mhz Tri Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Asus ATI Radeon HD 5770 CuCore 1024MB GDDR5 PCI Express
Sound Card
Realtek ALC889 @ Intel 82801JB ICH10 - High Definition Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
Samsung SyncMaster 920N 19"
Screen Resolution
1280*1024
Hard Drives
1 x OCZ Vertex2 Series 120GB 2.5" SATA-II SSD
1 x Seagate Barracuda 7200.12 1TB SATA-II 32MB Cache
1 x Western Digital Caviar Green 2TB SATA-II 64 MB Cache
PSU
Corsair TX 650W ATX SLi
Case
Antec 902 Ultimate Gaming Case Black
Cooling
Prolimatech Megahalems Rev B CPU Cooler Socket 775/1156/1366
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard
Mouse
Microsoft Optical USB
Internet Speed
ADSL24 FTTC 34.2 Mbps Down 7.1Mbps Up
Other Info
OcUK 22x DVDSATA ReWriter Black
Akasa AK-FN058 Apache Black Super Silent 120mm Fan
Printer Epson Stylus Photo R300
Scanner Canon Canoscan 8000F

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Home built
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
CPU
Intel(R) Pentium(R) 4 CPU 3.00GHz
Motherboard
ASUS P4P800-VM Motherboard Chipset: Intel 865G + ICH5
Memory
2.50 GB RAM
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GS
Sound Card
SoundMax Integrated Digital Audio (Chip)
Monitor(s) Displays
ViewSonic VX 1962 wm
Screen Resolution
1680 X 1050
Hard Drives
Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 80 GB
ST380215A ATA Device 18.6 GB
Western Digital "My Book" external hard drive 750 GB
Cooling
Fan based
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 2000 v10 USB
Mouse
Logitec optic USB
Internet Speed
3.01 Mb/s download 0.64 Mb/s upload
A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car
salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 120mph;
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M4, enjoying pushing the pedal
to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police
car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as
he floored it to 140mph, then 150 then 160. Suddenly, he thought, "What on
earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to
the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up the driver's side of
the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.
Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a
reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old man, looked very seriously at the policeman and replied, "Years
ago my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir", said the policeman.
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Put together
OS
Win7 Pro-64 Bit
CPU
i7-2600-3.4GHz
Motherboard
ASRock Z68M
Memory
8 GIG DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
onboard
Sound Card
onboard
Hard Drives
Seagate 1TB 7200RPM
PSU
680 W
Case
black
Cooling
stock fans
Keyboard
Microsoft
Mouse
Microsoft optical
So apparently not everyone is seeing the same thing from that link, so instead, I am going to post a snip of the image that came up.

87217d1279997858-jokes-thread-capture.jpg

That explains why I've gained some weight...

:what::roflmao::roflmao:

I will gave her an A for imagination and creativity - and an F for faithfulness.
 

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Home built
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
CPU
Intel(R) Pentium(R) 4 CPU 3.00GHz
Motherboard
ASUS P4P800-VM Motherboard Chipset: Intel 865G + ICH5
Memory
2.50 GB RAM
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GS
Sound Card
SoundMax Integrated Digital Audio (Chip)
Monitor(s) Displays
ViewSonic VX 1962 wm
Screen Resolution
1680 X 1050
Hard Drives
Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 80 GB
ST380215A ATA Device 18.6 GB
Western Digital "My Book" external hard drive 750 GB
Cooling
Fan based
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 2000 v10 USB
Mouse
Logitec optic USB
Internet Speed
3.01 Mb/s download 0.64 Mb/s upload

My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Home built
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
CPU
Intel(R) Pentium(R) 4 CPU 3.00GHz
Motherboard
ASUS P4P800-VM Motherboard Chipset: Intel 865G + ICH5
Memory
2.50 GB RAM
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GS
Sound Card
SoundMax Integrated Digital Audio (Chip)
Monitor(s) Displays
ViewSonic VX 1962 wm
Screen Resolution
1680 X 1050
Hard Drives
Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 80 GB
ST380215A ATA Device 18.6 GB
Western Digital "My Book" external hard drive 750 GB
Cooling
Fan based
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 2000 v10 USB
Mouse
Logitec optic USB
Internet Speed
3.01 Mb/s download 0.64 Mb/s upload
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