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Windows 7: Jokes Thread

13 Jan 2010   #401
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

I like it.

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by jfar View Post
Remember it is only a joke.

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the

following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

2 French men and 1 French woman

2 German men and 1 German woman

2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

2 English men and 1 English woman

2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman

2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman

2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman

2 American men and 1 American woman

2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman


One month later the following things have occurred -

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a

menage-a-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is

cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long

look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions,

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant

and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply

employees for their stores.


The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because

the American woman endlessly complains about her body; the true nature

of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of

fulfilment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees

make her arse look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her

opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with

her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a

distillery. They don't remember if sex is in the picture because it gets

sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they've

satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Jan 2010   #402
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
I like it.
Me too. But there's a mistake: That one woman was not American! I know her, she's from Finland. I was married to her way back in the 80's.

Kari
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Jan 2010   #403
jfar

Vista Ult64, Win7600
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Kari View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
I like it.
Me too. But there's a mistake: That woman was not American! I know her, she's from Finland. I was married to her way back in the 80's.

Kari

My System SpecsSystem Spec
.

13 Jan 2010   #404
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Kari View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
I like it.
Me too. But there's a mistake: That one woman was not American! I know her, she's from Finland. I was married to her way back in the 80's.

Kari

So you were married to her also?

Jokes Thread-strumpet.jpg


My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Jan 2010   #405
Zidane24

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 - Mac OS X 10.6.4 x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Kari View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid View Post
I like it.
Me too. But there's a mistake: That one woman was not American! I know her, she's from Finland. I was married to her way back in the 80's.

Kari

So you were married to her also?

Attachment 47384
Thanks BFK...

I will now have nightmares
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Jan 2010   #406
Bare Foot Kid
Microsoft MVP

W 7 64-bit Ultimate
 
 

My pleasure mate!
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Jan 2010   #407
Kari

Microsoft Community Contributor Award Recipient

 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid;503687
So you were married to her also? :shock:

[ATTACH
47384[/ATTACH]
Yes. I can still remember the wedding. It was only my second marriage so I was still a bit unexperienced, I did not know if I should give some money to the priest who wed us.

So after the ceremony I asked him how much i owe. He said it's up to me, how do I feel about the marriage and my newly wedded wife. I looked at my wife quite a long, turned back to the priest and gave him 50 Finnish Marks (about 9 Euro todays money).

The priest looked at my new wife, turned back to me and gave me 35 Marks back.
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Jan 2010   #408
Zidane24

Windows 7 Home Premium x64 - Mac OS X 10.6.4 x64
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Kari View Post
Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by Bare Foot Kid;503687
So you were married to her also? :shock:

[ATTACH
47384[/ATTACH]
Yes. I can still remember the wedding. It was only my second marriage so I was still a bit unexperienced, I did not know if I should give some money to the priest who wed us.

So after the ceremony I asked him how much i owe. He said it's up to me, how do I feel about the marriage and my newly wedded wife. I looked at my wife quite a long, turned back to the priest and gave him 50 Finnish Marks (about 9 Euro todays money).

The priest looked at my new wife, turned back to me and gave me 35 Marks back.
I remeber hearing you tell that story a while ago Kari and it still cracks me up
My System SpecsSystem Spec
13 Jan 2010   #409
CoolioG

Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit
 
 
Creationism LOL

Bill Gates picks his own punishment

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.

As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.

"The bottle has a hole in it!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.

"And it's missing three keys,"

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."
My System SpecsSystem Spec
14 Jan 2010   #410
Coolness

Win 7 pro 64-bit, Ubuntu 9.10 64-bit
 
 

Quote   Quote: Originally Posted by CoolioG View Post
Watch out, BFK wont like this (and i neither do i, you should reason with someone who's belifes are strange to you, not just laugh at them)
My System SpecsSystem Spec
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