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Thediffe1MA28993280-0001.jpg

Thediffe2MA28993280-0002.jpg


You cleaned that one up nicely, whs. ;)
 

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i guess both of them can borrow your bike carl... :p

Is it a sheep? for real?
 

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none of the spec above is accurate

My Computer My Computer

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Home built
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but the animals have horn and the fur not look like fluffy sort of. :rolleyes:. Im not familiar with animal :p
 

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That is a goat in the photo. The original joke referred to sheep rather than goats.
 

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That is a goat in the photo. The original joke referred to sheep rather than goats.



The original I saw was a bumper sticker on a car from the US state of Montana and it said, "Montana, where men are men and the sheep are nervous". ;)
 

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That is a goat in the photo. The original joke referred to sheep rather than goats.

Now you got me Rollin On Floor :roflmao:
 

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That is a goat in the photo. The original joke referred to sheep rather than goats.



The original I saw was a bumper sticker on a car from the US state of Montana and it said, "Montana, where men are men and the sheep are nervous". ;)

I have seen that bumper sticker, too. But I first heard it from, the Aussies and the Kiwis back in the 70's.
 

My Computer My Computer

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NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GS
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SoundMax Integrated Digital Audio (Chip)
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Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 80 GB
ST380215A ATA Device 18.6 GB
Western Digital "My Book" external hard drive 750 GB
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Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 2000 v10 USB
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the aussies and kiwis inherited it from their scots ancestors that made the habit famous...
sheep_shagger.gif

the scots are so proud of it they named a beer after the practice. :)

the welsh are also known for their sheep handling skills.
 

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You Know You're a High-Tech Worker When...

It's dark when you drive to and from work.

You see a good looking person and know it must be a visitor.

You've been sitting at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

Your resume is on a USB drive aroudn your neck.

You learn about your layoff on CNN.

Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.

You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.

Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.

Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.

All real work gets started after 5pm or on weekends.

10% of the people you work with (boss included) -- knows what they do.

Vacation is something you roll over to next year.

Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers" or "does something with satellites".
 

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the aussies and kiwis inherited it from their scots ancestors that made the habit famous...
sheep_shagger.gif

the scots are so proud of it they named a beer after the practice. :)

the welsh are also known for their sheep handling skills.

:roflmao::roflmao:
 

My Computer My Computer

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Home built
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NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GS
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Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 80 GB
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Western Digital "My Book" external hard drive 750 GB
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Fan based
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Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 2000 v10 USB
Mouse
Logitec optic USB
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My Computer My Computer

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Internal: 2 x 500 GB SATA Hard Disk Drive 7200 rpm
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As Envy runs a bit warm, I have it on a Cooler Master pad
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50/10 Mbps VDSL
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My Computer My Computer

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core 2 quad
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2gb corsair
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ati hd4850
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lg
Screen Resolution
1600 X 900
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power logic
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none of the spec above is accurate
Your Dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is barking at the front door. Which one do you let in first?

Well its up to you, but the dog will stop barking once you open the door
 

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Your Dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is barking at the front door. Which one do you let in first?

Well its up to you, but the dog will stop barking once you open the door

:zip: :zip:
 

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Home built
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2.50 GB RAM
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NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GS
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SoundMax Integrated Digital Audio (Chip)
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ViewSonic VX 1962 wm
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1680 X 1050
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Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 80 GB
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Western Digital "My Book" external hard drive 750 GB
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Fan based
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Mouse
Logitec optic USB
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Your Dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is barking at the front door. Which one do you let in first?

Well its up to you, but the dog will stop barking once you open the door



:thumbsup:
 

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* BFK Customs *
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ATI : XFX 5870
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Realtek HD Audio 7-1
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1x 47" LCD HDMI & 3x 26" LCD HDMI
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1920x1080P & 1920x1200
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1x 80GB Intel X25-M G2 SSD : 1x 500GB & 1x 640GB WD Caviar Black(s)
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Corsair 620HX
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Cooler Master RC-690
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Tuniq Tower 120, 2x 140mm and 3x 120mm case fans
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Microsoft 500
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An English Condom company received an order from Russia for one hundred thousand condoms.

The dimensions were unusual: length — half a metre, diameter — ten centimetres.

The Company turned to Vince Cable the Business Secretary for advice: What should they do about it?

Vince Cable thought for a minute and then ordered:

'Make them!

Make them and stamp them: Made in England, medium size.'
 

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These photo's are showing just before the pain begins...
.image004.jpg
Should have been riding his Harley!

image009.jpg
He's getting the bull by the horns. Ouch!
 

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HP M9077c
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