Jokes Thread

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My Computer My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Self Built
OS
Win 10 Pro x64
CPU
Intel I5-2500K @3.3GHz
Motherboard
Asrock P67 Extreme4
Memory
16GB G.Skill Ripjaws X (4x4GB)
Graphics Card(s)
EVGA GeForce 750 Ti SC 2GB
Sound Card
ASUS Xonar DG 5.1 Channels 24-bit 96KHz PCI Interface Sound
Monitor(s) Displays
auria eq2367
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
250GB Samsung 850 EVO SSD
1TB WD Blue
1TB Hitachi
PSU
SeaSonic X 650W 80 Plus Gold
Case
Corsair Obsidian 750D
Cooling
Corsair H60, Three 140mm case fans
Keyboard
Logitech Wireless Keyboard K520
Mouse
Logitech Wireless Mouse M310
Internet Speed
Wave Broadband ~ 100 dn 5 up
Antivirus
Windows Defender, Malwarebytes Premium
Browser
Edge, IE11, Chrome
Other Info
Laptop specs: HP g7-1365dx /
CPU: AMD A6-3420M APU with Radeon(tm) HD Graphics /
RAM: Crucial 8Gb (2x4Gb) /
SSD: Crucial M4-CT128M4SSD2 ATA Device/ FW 000F /
GFX: AMD Radeon HD 6520G /
OS: Windows 10 Pro x64
I dont find him in the users db ... are you sure about the name?
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
LENOVO K450 @3.0GHZ
OS
64-bit Windows 8.1 Pro
CPU
Core(TM) i5 CPU 4330 Haswell @ 3.20GHz
Motherboard
LENOVO
Memory
12.00 GB
Graphics Card(s)
Intel(R) HD Graphics
Sound Card
Intel HD integtrated
Monitor(s) Displays
HP 25' ISP Monitor
Screen Resolution
1900/1020
Hard Drives
(1) ST1000DM003-1CH162 (2) Generic STORAGE DEVICE USB Device (3) Generic STORAGE DEVICE USB Device
Internet Speed
100mb down/10mb up

My Computer My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Self Built
OS
Win 10 Pro x64
CPU
Intel I5-2500K @3.3GHz
Motherboard
Asrock P67 Extreme4
Memory
16GB G.Skill Ripjaws X (4x4GB)
Graphics Card(s)
EVGA GeForce 750 Ti SC 2GB
Sound Card
ASUS Xonar DG 5.1 Channels 24-bit 96KHz PCI Interface Sound
Monitor(s) Displays
auria eq2367
Screen Resolution
1920 x 1080
Hard Drives
250GB Samsung 850 EVO SSD
1TB WD Blue
1TB Hitachi
PSU
SeaSonic X 650W 80 Plus Gold
Case
Corsair Obsidian 750D
Cooling
Corsair H60, Three 140mm case fans
Keyboard
Logitech Wireless Keyboard K520
Mouse
Logitech Wireless Mouse M310
Internet Speed
Wave Broadband ~ 100 dn 5 up
Antivirus
Windows Defender, Malwarebytes Premium
Browser
Edge, IE11, Chrome
Other Info
Laptop specs: HP g7-1365dx /
CPU: AMD A6-3420M APU with Radeon(tm) HD Graphics /
RAM: Crucial 8Gb (2x4Gb) /
SSD: Crucial M4-CT128M4SSD2 ATA Device/ FW 000F /
GFX: AMD Radeon HD 6520G /
OS: Windows 10 Pro x64
I just hope I'm not guilty of he no longer posting his jokes. I criticized his choice of terribly big font in one of his jokes, he might have taken it too personally. I really hope that is not the case.

It seems I can type faster than I think... It was not the first time I've posted something that might not be a good idea to post :o
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP ENVY 17-1150eg
OS
Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
CPU
1.6 GHz Intel Core i7-720QM Processor
Memory
6 GB
Graphics Card(s)
ATI Mobility Radeon HD 5850 Graphics
Sound Card
Beats sound system with integrated subwoofer
Monitor(s) Displays
17" laptop display, 22" LED and 32" Full HD TV through HDMI
Screen Resolution
1600*900 (1), 1920*1080 (2&3)
Hard Drives
Internal: 2 x 500 GB SATA Hard Disk Drive 7200 rpm
External: 2TB for backups, 3TB USB3 network drive for media
Cooling
As Envy runs a bit warm, I have it on a Cooler Master pad
Keyboard
Logitech diNovo Media Desktop Laser (bluetooth)
Mouse
Logitech Performance Mouse MX
Internet Speed
50/10 Mbps VDSL
Antivirus
Windows Defender 4.3.9431.0
Browser
Maxthon 3.5.2., IE11
I just hope I'm not guilty of he no longer posting his jokes. I criticized his choice of terribly big font in one of his jokes, he might have taken it too personally. I really hope that is not the case.

It seems I can type faster than I think... It was not the first time I've posted something that might not be a good idea to post :o
Don't worry about it Kari. If people take offense at every little thing, they're not worth having around.

The good guys like you can take a PM or nasty email, and not lose it.
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Custom
OS
Windows 7 Professional x64
CPU
Intel i7 2600K OC'd @ 4620 MHz
Motherboard
Asus P8Z68-V Pro
Memory
16GB GSkill Sniper 2133 Mhz (4x4GB)
Graphics Card(s)
EVGA GeForce GTX 480 SuperClocked+
Sound Card
Realtek High Definition Audio
Monitor(s) Displays
2x Acer S273HLbmii 27"
Screen Resolution
2 x 1920x1080
Hard Drives
64GB Crucial M4 SSD

Storage: Hitachi 1TB 5400RPM, Samsung 1.5TB 5400RPM
PSU
Corsair HW Series 750w (modular)
Case
Cooler Master HAF 932 Advanced Blue Edition
Cooling
CM Hyper 212+ CPU cooler, 3x 230mm + 1x 140mm case fans
Keyboard
Logitech MK320 (wireless)
Mouse
Logitech MK320 (wireless)
Internet Speed
30 Mb/s : 2 Mb/s
I think he is no longer a member. I cannot click on his name and get to his profile and under his name it says "No posts".
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Home built
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
CPU
Intel(R) Pentium(R) 4 CPU 3.00GHz
Motherboard
ASUS P4P800-VM Motherboard Chipset: Intel 865G + ICH5
Memory
2.50 GB RAM
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GS
Sound Card
SoundMax Integrated Digital Audio (Chip)
Monitor(s) Displays
ViewSonic VX 1962 wm
Screen Resolution
1680 X 1050
Hard Drives
Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 80 GB
ST380215A ATA Device 18.6 GB
Western Digital "My Book" external hard drive 750 GB
Cooling
Fan based
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 2000 v10 USB
Mouse
Logitec optic USB
Internet Speed
3.01 Mb/s download 0.64 Mb/s upload
I just hope I'm not guilty of he no longer posting his jokes. I criticized his choice of terribly big font in one of his jokes, he might have taken it too personally. I really hope that is not the case.

It seems I can type faster than I think... It was not the first time I've posted something that might not be a good idea to post :o
Don't worry about it Kari. If people take offense at every little thing, they're not worth having around.

The good guys like you can take a PM or nasty email, and not lose it.

Right on target. Being thin skinned makes life miserable.
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Home built
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
CPU
Intel(R) Pentium(R) 4 CPU 3.00GHz
Motherboard
ASUS P4P800-VM Motherboard Chipset: Intel 865G + ICH5
Memory
2.50 GB RAM
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GS
Sound Card
SoundMax Integrated Digital Audio (Chip)
Monitor(s) Displays
ViewSonic VX 1962 wm
Screen Resolution
1680 X 1050
Hard Drives
Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 80 GB
ST380215A ATA Device 18.6 GB
Western Digital "My Book" external hard drive 750 GB
Cooling
Fan based
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 2000 v10 USB
Mouse
Logitec optic USB
Internet Speed
3.01 Mb/s download 0.64 Mb/s upload
Or maybe he just forgot to pay his membership dues. It happened to me last month. Kari, luckily, informed me that my account was going to be closed if I didn't pay up. thanks again Kari :thumbsup:
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
ASUS G60-RBBX05
OS
Win7 Home Premium 64x
CPU
Intel Core 2 Duo P7450 / 2.13 GHz (2.29 with Extreme Turbo)
Memory
4 GB PC-6400 Hyundai (2X2) at 800Mhz
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce GTX 260M 1GB DDR3 VRAM
Monitor(s) Displays
16" LED Backlit
Screen Resolution
1366 x 768 on laptop 1600x1050 max res on 22" external mon
Hard Drives
OCZ Agility 3 60GB SSD / 320 GB - Serial ATA-150 - 7200 rpm
PSU
6-cell Lithium ion { lasts 1.5 hours }
Case
ASUS G60 Laptop
Keyboard
Chicklet type back-lit (white light) keyboard
Mouse
Logitech G9 Laser Mouse 3200dpi and 1000 reports per minute
Internet Speed
Comcast 8.60mb/s up - 3.11mb/s down
Antivirus
MSE
Browser
Firefox
Other Info
General mid-budget gaming Comp. Low batterylife - High FrameRates - currently overheating problems :(

2nd Rig: Case: Rosewill BLACKHAWK Gaming ATX Mid Tower Computer Case

Mobo: GIGABYTE GA-990FXA-UD3
CPU: AMD FX-6200 Zambezi 3.8GHz (4.1GHz Turbo)
Heatsink: COOLER MASTER V8 CPU Cooler
RAM: Patriot Viper 3 8GB (2 x 4GB) 240-Pin DDR3 SDRAM 1866 (PC3 15000)
GPU: SAPPHIRE Radeon HD 6850 1GB 2
Or maybe he just forgot to pay his membership dues. It happened to me last month. Kari, luckily, informed me that my account was going to be closed if I didn't pay up. thanks again Kari :thumbsup:

:what::roflmao:
Don't remember this incident, have to trust you and believe it happened ;)
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer type
Laptop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
HP ENVY 17-1150eg
OS
Windows 10 Pro x64 EN-GB
CPU
1.6 GHz Intel Core i7-720QM Processor
Memory
6 GB
Graphics Card(s)
ATI Mobility Radeon HD 5850 Graphics
Sound Card
Beats sound system with integrated subwoofer
Monitor(s) Displays
17" laptop display, 22" LED and 32" Full HD TV through HDMI
Screen Resolution
1600*900 (1), 1920*1080 (2&3)
Hard Drives
Internal: 2 x 500 GB SATA Hard Disk Drive 7200 rpm
External: 2TB for backups, 3TB USB3 network drive for media
Cooling
As Envy runs a bit warm, I have it on a Cooler Master pad
Keyboard
Logitech diNovo Media Desktop Laser (bluetooth)
Mouse
Logitech Performance Mouse MX
Internet Speed
50/10 Mbps VDSL
Antivirus
Windows Defender 4.3.9431.0
Browser
Maxthon 3.5.2., IE11

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Self-built on 31/1/11
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 64 bit
CPU
Intel i5 2400 @ 3.80 GHz
Motherboard
Ashrock P67 Extreme 4
Memory
Mushkin Silverline 996768 4GB
Graphics Card(s)
MSI GTX 460 760MB Cyclone Overclocked
Sound Card
Integrated
Monitor(s) Displays
Asus VH202T 20" Widescreen
Screen Resolution
1600x900
Hard Drives
SSD: OCZ Vertex 2 60GB
HDD: Hitachi Deskstar 7K1000.C 500GB
PSU
Silverstone Strider 500W
Case
Zalman Z9 Plus
Cooling
Cooler Master Hyper 212 Plus
Keyboard
Logitech Wireless Keyboard MK520
Mouse
Logitech M310
Internet Speed
3 Mbps
Other Info
UEFI: Ashrock P67/
Network Card :TP-Link WN350GD/
WEI: 7.4/
ODD: Lite-On IHAS324

My Computer My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
The Dominator?
OS
Windows Seven Ultimate
CPU
AMD Piledriver FX 8320 @ 3.5GHz
Motherboard
ASUS M5A97 EVO R2.0
Memory
Crucial Ballistix 8GB 1600 MHz DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
ASUS GeForce GTX 970 Strix Edition @ 1.114 GHz
Sound Card
Integrated
Monitor(s) Displays
LG 23EA63V 23" IPS 1080p Monitor
Screen Resolution
1920x1080
Hard Drives
Samsung SSD 840 EVO 120 GB
1x WD GreenPower 500GB 7200RPM
1 External HDD 1TB
PSU
Corsair CX500
Case
Zalman Z9 Plus
Cooling
CPU - Corsair Hydro H80i, Case - 3x Aerocool Shark Edition
Keyboard
Xenta Backlit Keyboard (Not very good!)
Mouse
Logitech G400
Internet Speed
Download: 7 mb/s Upload: 0.76 mb/s
Antivirus
Microsoft Security Essentials
Browser
Google Chrome
Other Info
Overclockers UK Desk Pad 89 x 45 cm
1200x730x600mm Desk
Using Virtual Audio Cable to split stereo sound into Audio Technica ATH-M50 headphones and Logitech X-530 speakers.

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Home built
OS
Windows 7 Ultimate 32 bit
CPU
Intel(R) Pentium(R) 4 CPU 3.00GHz
Motherboard
ASUS P4P800-VM Motherboard Chipset: Intel 865G + ICH5
Memory
2.50 GB RAM
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce 7600 GS
Sound Card
SoundMax Integrated Digital Audio (Chip)
Monitor(s) Displays
ViewSonic VX 1962 wm
Screen Resolution
1680 X 1050
Hard Drives
Seagate Barracuda 7200.10 80 GB
ST380215A ATA Device 18.6 GB
Western Digital "My Book" external hard drive 750 GB
Cooling
Fan based
Keyboard
Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 2000 v10 USB
Mouse
Logitec optic USB
Internet Speed
3.01 Mb/s download 0.64 Mb/s upload

My Computer My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gigabyte Technology Co., Ltd.
OS
Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
CPU
Intel Core 2 Duo E8400
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-EP35-DS3R
Memory
2x 2GB OCZ DDR II SDRAM PC2-6400
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce 9400GT
Monitor(s) Displays
HP 2009m(primary), Acer P191W
Screen Resolution
1600x900, 1440x900
Hard Drives
Internal:WD Caviar Black 640GB 32MB cache 7200RPM
External:Samsung Story Station 1TB HDD desktop drive
500GB Toshiba portable drive
PSU
Antec Earthwatts EA500D
Case
Antec Sonata III
Cooling
4 fans
Keyboard
Logitech Wave
Mouse
Logitech M-SBF90
Internet Speed
Slow due to home Wireless-G router
Antivirus
MSE, Hitman Pro, Malwarebytes
Browser
Chrome and Palemoon
Other Info
Laptop....Acer 5750Z-4835
15.6" HD Widescreen CineCrystal™ LED-backlit LCD Display: (1366x768 resolution, 16:9 aspect ratio)
Intel® Pentium® Processor B940 (2.0GHz, 2MB L3 cache)
Windows® 7 Home Premium,500GB Hard Drive,4GB DDR3 RAM, Intel® HD Graphics,8X DVD-Super Multi Double-Layer Drive
Multi-in-1 Digital Media Card Reader,802.11b/g/n Wi-Fi
Chrome and Palemoon, MSE, Hitman Pro
That link has a weird string...
using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder

Hmm...
I thought it was Vista who did that :huh: :p
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Myself
OS
Windows 7 Professional 64bit
CPU
AMD Athlon II X2 240 Regor 2.8GHz
Motherboard
GIGABYTE GA-MA785GMT-UD2H
Memory
4 gigs DDR3 Dual Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Radeon HD 5770 1gig video RAM
Sound Card
Realtek ALC889A
Monitor(s) Displays
Dell E770s 17in
Screen Resolution
1024x768
Hard Drives
1 x 250gb seagate
PSU
Rosewill RP600V2-S-SL 600W
Case
Antec Nine Hundred Black Steel ATX Mid Tower
Cooling
4 Fans
Keyboard
Micro Inovations
Mouse
Microsoft optical mouse
Internet Speed
22 mbps download 1 mbps upload
Quasimodo is lying on the steps of Notre Dame, his twisted body and limbs shattered by the fall.
He is obviously dying from his injuries.
A passerby kneels down and catches his last words:

"No Esmerelda, when I said 'will you toss me off?' of I meant......."
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
The Monolith. 3.1
OS
Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
CPU
i7 [email protected]
Motherboard
Gigabyte Z77-D3H
Memory
2x4GB Corsair Vegeance DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
XFX GTX 260 Black Edition
Sound Card
none-through large stereo hi fi
Monitor(s) Displays
Croosover 27MDP LED IPS Dell 2408 WFP
Screen Resolution
2560x1440 1920x1200
Hard Drives
1x Samsung 840Pro 128GB SSD
1x Samsung Spinpoint F1 1TB
PSU
Corsair AX 850 Watt
Case
Cooler Master ACTS 840
Cooling
Be Quiet! Dark Rock Pro
Keyboard
Enermax Aurora
Mouse
Logitech Ballmouse
Internet Speed
20MBPS
Quasimodo is lying on the steps of Notre Dame, his twisted body and limbs shattered by the fall.
He is obviously dying from his injuries.
A passerby kneels down and catches his last words:

"No Esmerelda, when I said 'will you toss me off?' of I meant......."
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer type
PC/Desktop
Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Gigabyte Technology Co., Ltd.
OS
Win 7 Ultimate 64-bit SP1 (desktop)
CPU
Intel Core 2 Duo E8400
Motherboard
Gigabyte GA-EP35-DS3R
Memory
2x 2GB OCZ DDR II SDRAM PC2-6400
Graphics Card(s)
NVIDIA GeForce 9400GT
Monitor(s) Displays
HP 2009m(primary), Acer P191W
Screen Resolution
1600x900, 1440x900
Hard Drives
Internal:WD Caviar Black 640GB 32MB cache 7200RPM
External:Samsung Story Station 1TB HDD desktop drive
500GB Toshiba portable drive
PSU
Antec Earthwatts EA500D
Case
Antec Sonata III
Cooling
4 fans
Keyboard
Logitech Wave
Mouse
Logitech M-SBF90
Internet Speed
Slow due to home Wireless-G router
Antivirus
MSE, Hitman Pro, Malwarebytes
Browser
Chrome and Palemoon
Other Info
Laptop....Acer 5750Z-4835
15.6" HD Widescreen CineCrystal™ LED-backlit LCD Display: (1366x768 resolution, 16:9 aspect ratio)
Intel® Pentium® Processor B940 (2.0GHz, 2MB L3 cache)
Windows® 7 Home Premium,500GB Hard Drive,4GB DDR3 RAM, Intel® HD Graphics,8X DVD-Super Multi Double-Layer Drive
Multi-in-1 Digital Media Card Reader,802.11b/g/n Wi-Fi
Chrome and Palemoon, MSE, Hitman Pro
it speaks for itself
 

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My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Myself
OS
Windows 7 Professional 64bit
CPU
AMD Athlon II X2 240 Regor 2.8GHz
Motherboard
GIGABYTE GA-MA785GMT-UD2H
Memory
4 gigs DDR3 Dual Channel
Graphics Card(s)
Radeon HD 5770 1gig video RAM
Sound Card
Realtek ALC889A
Monitor(s) Displays
Dell E770s 17in
Screen Resolution
1024x768
Hard Drives
1 x 250gb seagate
PSU
Rosewill RP600V2-S-SL 600W
Case
Antec Nine Hundred Black Steel ATX Mid Tower
Cooling
4 Fans
Keyboard
Micro Inovations
Mouse
Microsoft optical mouse
Internet Speed
22 mbps download 1 mbps upload
Lol
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
Dell
OS
Windows 7 (x86)
CPU
Dual I7's, 2.66GhZ each
Motherboard
AMD
Memory
4 GB
Graphics Card(s)
NIVIDA GeForce 3600
Sound Card
Standard
Monitor(s) Displays
1980 x 1280 TruLife HD
Hard Drives
**UPGRADED**

1 TB HD (External converted)
Case
Standard back.
Cooling
Dual fans.
What's brown or white, wrapped in clingfilm, and swings around on bell ropes?

The Lunchpack of Note Dame
 

My Computer My Computer

Computer Manufacturer/Model Number
The Monolith. 3.1
OS
Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit
CPU
i7 [email protected]
Motherboard
Gigabyte Z77-D3H
Memory
2x4GB Corsair Vegeance DDR3
Graphics Card(s)
XFX GTX 260 Black Edition
Sound Card
none-through large stereo hi fi
Monitor(s) Displays
Croosover 27MDP LED IPS Dell 2408 WFP
Screen Resolution
2560x1440 1920x1200
Hard Drives
1x Samsung 840Pro 128GB SSD
1x Samsung Spinpoint F1 1TB
PSU
Corsair AX 850 Watt
Case
Cooler Master ACTS 840
Cooling
Be Quiet! Dark Rock Pro
Keyboard
Enermax Aurora
Mouse
Logitech Ballmouse
Internet Speed
20MBPS
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