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Hellmann's Mayonnaise - a bit of history.

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England . In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York . This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico . But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York . The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as -

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Sinko De Mayo.

WHAT??? You expected something educational from me? You need a shot of Tequila after that don't you?

 

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Sinko de mayo, That's pretty good Doc.:roflmao:
 

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An Army ranger was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend.
In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone, she wanted to break
up and she wants pictures of herself back.

So the Ranger does what any squared away Ranger would do. He went around to his buddies and collected
all the unwanted photos of women he could find.

He then mailed about 25 pictures to his girlfriend with the following note:

"I'm sorry I can't remember which one you are, but please take the one that belongs to you and send the rest back. Thank you."
 

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I used logic (?) :p
No offence SME, but i doubt you could have done that animation :p (I couldn't, not sure about noyb though...)
 

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This is a bit sick so read no further if you are easily naused out.

Guy works day shift in a railway signal box.
One morning he arrives at work to find his usually miserable night shift colleague grinning from ear to ear.
Guy: "You're happy this morning"
Night shift guy: "I just had the best shift ever, you won't believe it"
Guy: "Tell me"
Night shift guy: "Well it was about 2am and there hadn't been a train for a while so I was just having a read when I looked out of the window and saw this naked woman tied to the track"
Guy: "Wow, what happened"
NSG: "I went outside and untied her and carried her in here"
Guy: "Yeah, what happened then"
NSG: "We made love on that very table! What do you think of that for a shift eh?"
Guy: "Amazing, you lucky devil. Was she like, good looking and stuff?"
NSG "Dunno, never found her head" :rolleyes:
 

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This is a bit sick so read no further if you are easily naused out.

Guy works day shift in a railway signal box.
One morning he arrives at work to find his usually miserable night shift colleague grinning from ear to ear.
Guy: "You're happy this morning"
Night shift guy: "I just had the best shift ever, you won't believe it"
Guy: "Tell me"
Night shift guy: "Well it was about 2am and there hadn't been a train for a while so I was just having a read when I looked out of the window and saw this naked woman tied to the track"
Guy: "Wow, what happened"
NSG: "I went outside and untied her and carried her in here"
Guy: "Yeah, what happened then"
NSG: "We made love on that very table! What do you think of that for a shift eh?"
Guy: "Amazing, you lucky devil. Was she like, good looking and stuff?"
NSG "Dunno, never found her head" :rolleyes:
:what: Anti climax again, but :what:
 

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Yeah fair point. I read somewhere there are only 5 basic joke forms and I imagine this anticlimax or confounding of expectations type is one of them.
It's just a weak example of it though. oh well......:)
 

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Yeah fair point. I read somewhere there are only 5 basic joke forms and I imagine this anticlimax or confounding of expectations type is one of them.
It's just a weak example of it though. oh well......:)
May we expect some strong examples, John ? :D
 

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I'll get on to the team who write my daily scripts and tell 'em to do better:)
 

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the gladiator
untitled.JPG
 

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